Healing Power of Memoir and Life Review, Septuagenarian Vitality and more....

 I am a big fan of Dr. Bill Thomas's work to provide  liveable alternatives to what we currently call nursing homes. Dr. Thomas does this pioneering work through The Eden Alternative and The Green House Project. Are you aware of his work? If not, check it out. It's marvelous and needed.

His blog Changing Aging is a platform for sharing news about his very important work and the work of others, too.

I am very pleased that I have had two guest blogs published on Changing Aging recently. My first blog was about our musical revue A New Wrinkle. How glad I was when Changing Aging Editor Kavan Peterson emailed me to tell me that he had listened to the mp3s of songs from the revue, and had read some of the lyrics on our website as well and that he found the songs funny and wonderful. As I've said before, the artist's life can sometimes be a solitary endeavor, and it is very encouraging to receive positive response from one's audience.

This morning, I had another guest blog published at Changing Aging, on the healing power of memoir and life review. 

In it, I describe the value of life review to older adults and share some experience of my own life review over the past 17 years, which has resulted in my new book Songs of the Inner Life.

Life review is considered one of the important tasks of later life. It allows us to examine, let go, forgive, understand and integrate our life experience.

On another note, Mick Jagger turned 70 and 71-year old Paul McCartney gave a big concert in Seattle. Both of these music icons' ages resulted in New York Times articles. The articles are very different from one another.

Gail Collins took a friendly retrospective view of what rockers including Jagger said about aging when they were younger, and how they feel about it now that they have entered the territory of aging. Her opinion piece is warm and engaging. Enjoying your life has a positive effect on the aging process as Collins points out.  "... if you’re doing something you love to do, you can rise above it."

The article Septuagenarian Strut by Timothy Egan is another story entirely. Egan's reflections on Paul McCartney's recent concert were unsettling, a  flagrant display of the kind of disgust many people feel about aging and older adults. It's a rather sad read. Egan himself is in the demographic he writes about so scathingly.   Such repulsion and aversion to aging--it cannot be healthy. Here's one excerpt.

"Milling about Safeco Field in Seattle under a nearly full moon, I loathed my self-loathing. Demographically speaking, I’m smack dab in the middle of a generation that refuses to acknowledge age or get off the stage. Where is the off-ramp marked grace, dignity or class for the 76 million Americans born between 1946 and 1964?"

Readers sent over 200 comments on each of these articles--the comments make for fascinating reading.

That's the news today from southern Oregon, where wildfires are raging all around, making the air very, very smoky. Air quality is rated as unhealthy and we are urged not to go outside at all. We are all hoping for the fires to be contained and the air to clear soon.

Content in My Own Company

I'm happy to be a contributor to Dr. Carol Orsborn's digest Fierce with Age. Dr. Orsborn is someone I have been getting to know better as we share notes and strategies in the work we each do in the field of aging.

In her latest issue of Fierce with Age she focuses on the themes of loneliness, being alone and choosing solitude. She included an excerpt of my book Songs of the Inner Life, in which I reflect upon being solitary and content with that. Click the link above to read the excerpt and the other contributions. Her digests are always worthwhile reading.

I find that I am content in my own company. This must be what I need at this time in my life. My daughters are grown. I’ve been single for over a decade, and I’m sailing toward 70. I don’t know if I will live till the morning or until I’m 80. But I do know I am in the winter of my life. And that gives everything I experience and want an edge.” - See more at: http://fiercewithage.com/digest-of-boomer-wisdom-inspiration-spirituality-20/#sthash.OldJFoAa.dpuf

Loneliness can be a problem as we age. It's important for our well-being to cultivate some dear friends, engage in some meaningful activities in groups we enjoy and find ways to come out into the community to share and contribute.

What are your methods for staying connected? Are you content in your own company, or do you find that you are lonely more than content?

Issues like loneliness are something that I help clients with in my Retirement and Inspirement Coaching practice.  Sessions can be done in person or long distance via Skype. I use a variety of tools, which may include rapid eye therapy, hypnotherapy, EFT (tapping), CCT (energy work), meditation and creativity exercises.

I love this exhuberant image of Albert Einstein and I resonate with what he has to say about play.

Play is an antidote for depression and loneliness.

Play naturally uplifts the spirit, activates the endorphins to increase joy, galvanizes creativity, sparks flexibility and spontaneity and increases well-being.

Play is good for us at any age. What kind of play do you enjoy most in your life?

What kind of play would you like to bring into your life?

P.S. 

If you are in Oregon's Rogue Valley, join me as I read from my new book Songs of the Inner Life at the Ashland Library on Monday August 5th at 6:30pm.

Childhood is finished, adolescence long gone, early adulthood and middle age, vanished. Yet even into my late forties, I held onto the hope that by some special magic provided to myself alone I would escape aging, not to mention dying, that somehow, I would be borne along on the beneficent stream of time, nicely preserved at a pleasant age, say 30 or so, hair all shiny black, body slender, with the smooth skin of relative youth. What a struggle it was, surrendering that fantasy. It took years of releasing, mourning and grieving. I ‘m not saying it’s completely done yet.  But much of it has lifted off.
I find that I am content in my own company. This must be what I need at this time in my life. My daughters are grown. I’ve been single for over a decade, and I’m sailing toward 70. I don’t know if I will live till the morning or until I’m 80. But I do know I am in the winter of my life. And that gives everything I experience  and want an edge.
The Universe continues to be generous, there is no doubt about it.  I have found it worthwhile to have a sense of humor about its abundance. Once in awhile, I have the urge to go up to the top of the nearby mountain and just shout “J’accepte! J’accepte already!” as loud as I can, in the hope that the Universe will reconsider my case, and speaking to itself as I’m sure it does, might say, “I think she has learned her cosmic lesson, don’t you?” and lighten up on the red hot lava flow it kindly sends me from time to time in its infinitely wise way. However, I suspect that I am still not finished being smelted in this particular crucible. J’accepte, j’accepte, smiling. J’accepte in whatever mood or circumstance. I am learning acceptance. So far, I have discovered that it is not pushing away.  It is not giving up. It is just allowing things to be as they are.
How ironic it is. That’s what I think when I remember this time. Wanting to expand out into more spacious experience, then shrinking up in fear at the enormous power of it. How safe it seems to stay with what is familiar, rather than taking the leap into the unknown. I wanted the big mythic knowledge, and I wanted to hang onto my little self. That was my struggle. I grappled with it as I lived my ordinary hours and days, sweeping the clearing in front of the cabin, making dinner, walking out on the mesa with the wind making waves in the tall grass, looking at the stars, having affairs, studying healing, swimming, writing poetry, working at the general store in Bolinas, that sweet refuge of a village, one of the most beautiful places I’ve had the pleasure to inhabit.…
Nor can I report that I have finished the work of letting go of the little self. I wish I could say that. Then again, if I were done, would I be bragging about it? No, I would be way past bragging about my accomplishments, spiritual or otherwise.  I think that when that time comes, it will be a blessed relief. Or maybe by then the idea of blessed relief will be in the past, too.
For more on Songs of the Inner Life, click HERE

- See more at: http://fiercewithage.com/contributors/guest-blog-by-gaea-yudron/#sthash.6Xi8Zsda.dpuf

Childhood is finished, adolescence long gone, early adulthood and middle age, vanished. Yet even into my late forties, I held onto the hope that by some special magic provided to myself alone I would escape aging, not to mention dying, that somehow, I would be borne along on the beneficent stream of time, nicely preserved at a pleasant age, say 30 or so, hair all shiny black, body slender, with the smooth skin of relative youth. What a struggle it was, surrendering that fantasy. It took years of releasing, mourning and grieving. I ‘m not saying it’s completely done yet.  But much of it has lifted off.
I find that I am content in my own company. This must be what I need at this time in my life. My daughters are grown. I’ve been single for over a decade, and I’m sailing toward 70. I don’t know if I will live till the morning or until I’m 80. But I do know I am in the winter of my life. And that gives everything I experience  and want an edge.
The Universe continues to be generous, there is no doubt about it.  I have found it worthwhile to have a sense of humor about its abundance. Once in awhile, I have the urge to go up to the top of the nearby mountain and just shout “J’accepte! J’accepte already!” as loud as I can, in the hope that the Universe will reconsider my case, and speaking to itself as I’m sure it does, might say, “I think she has learned her cosmic lesson, don’t you?” and lighten up on the red hot lava flow it kindly sends me from time to time in its infinitely wise way. However, I suspect that I am still not finished being smelted in this particular crucible. J’accepte, j’accepte, smiling. J’accepte in whatever mood or circumstance. I am learning acceptance. So far, I have discovered that it is not pushing away.  It is not giving up. It is just allowing things to be as they are.
How ironic it is. That’s what I think when I remember this time. Wanting to expand out into more spacious experience, then shrinking up in fear at the enormous power of it. How safe it seems to stay with what is familiar, rather than taking the leap into the unknown. I wanted the big mythic knowledge, and I wanted to hang onto my little self. That was my struggle. I grappled with it as I lived my ordinary hours and days, sweeping the clearing in front of the cabin, making dinner, walking out on the mesa with the wind making waves in the tall grass, looking at the stars, having affairs, studying healing, swimming, writing poetry, working at the general store in Bolinas, that sweet refuge of a village, one of the most beautiful places I’ve had the pleasure to inhabit.…
Nor can I report that I have finished the work of letting go of the little self. I wish I could say that. Then again, if I were done, would I be bragging about it? No, I would be way past bragging about my accomplishments, spiritual or otherwise.  I think that when that time comes, it will be a blessed relief. Or maybe by then the idea of blessed relief will be in the past, too.
For more on Songs of the Inner Life, click HERE

- See more at: http://fiercewithage.com/contributors/guest-blog-by-gaea-yudron/#sthash.6Xi8Zsda.dpuf

Guest Blog by Gaea Yudron

Guest Blog by Gaea Yudron

Guest Blog by Gaea Yudron

Book Reading and Signing

Songs of the Inner Life
Book reading and signing
with author Gaea Yudron
Ashland Library's Gresham Room
Monday, August 5th, 6:30-8PM

Gero-Punk Project Guest Blog, and a great reader comment, too

Jenny Sasser, who is the head of the gerontology department at Marylhurst University in Portland, sent out a call for guest bloggers, which I answered. I've been wanting to become better acquainted with Jenny, and it seemed like a good way to start. My guest blog is titled "Something Got Ahold of Me!" It was published yesterday. In it, I talk about A New Wrinkle, our musical revue on aging--what inspired me to develop it, topics we cover, and songs in the revue. I was glad to share that on Jenny's blog, and look forward to further conversation and collaboration with Jenny and others who are involved in the field of aging and creativity in the Portland area.

I received a wonderful reader comment on my new book the other day from artist Diane Lea, who wrote,

"I have just finished your book and I am touched beyond words. I am in awe of your ability to transport the reader into your deepest intimate memories and experiences in a most eloquent but yet"comfortable" way. There is so much that is familiar and so much that touches me in places that are unknown. I am envious of your relationship with your father. I did not have that. I too often felt like a lost little girl. Then there is your spiritual journey, which sounds quite special. I'm still floundering in that area. Thank you for sharing the songs of your inner life. I feel like you have spoken directly to my soul and I am inspired to continue this most amazing exploration called aging."

 

Stories from the First Week in July

Fireflies, a small boat on a river. Lantern light. Stillness. The magic of summer darkness. An idyllic scene that appeals to me for many reasons--the picturesque boat, the still openness of the river, the mystery of the night and of course, the fireflies.

We have no fireflies in Oregon, sadly enough. In my childhood summers on the east coast, the big jar of dark summer evenings always contained their magical dances.

It's July 4th, and the big, wackily original parade will be starting in an hour or so. I've attended many, many Ashland parades. I'm just not in the mood this morning. So I sit here drinking my coffee in the quietly pokey little town of Phoenix where I survey the back garden, hoping that today will be cooler. The heat has been on here with temperatures over 100, and it would be quite delightful if it cooled down a bit.

Dr. Rick Moody, the gerontologist/author who is a mentor to me, tells me to find ways to "get in front of people" as he puts it. Turns out that getting in front of people is one of the things I love most to do. That's one reason why my book reading on June 28th was sweet. The other reason is that I knew most of the people who attended quite well and it was great to experience all of them in one room. I began with some wordless singing, (which is one of my very favorite things to do--singing, wordlessly and improvisationally--an unusual form of vocal expression and a topic unto itself) talked about aging, read from Songs of the Inner Life and gave away a few door prizes--a book, an audacious aging kit and a copy of the preview CD from A New Wrinkle. Afterwards, some folks made fascinating comments about what I had read, and then of course, people bought books and I signed them. Quite refreshing, especially considering who attended--some of my dearest and most favorite people.

I will be doing another reading on August 3rd at the Ashland Library, sponsored by Friends of the Library. I love presenting at the library.

I wanted to share a few things that I enjoyed this week. Two of them are essays, and one is a film.
A friend posted on Facebook this wonderful essay by Danielle Prohom Olson which appears in her Body Divine Yoga blog. The essay is titled: The Great Belly: A Yogini's Lament.  

In it, Olson talks about how our attitudes about the female belly have changed drastically. In ancient times, the female belly was honored as a chalice of fertility and abundance. As Olson points out, today we want abs and flat bellies.

I used to have a belly so flat that when I lay down my hipbones stuck up in a rather alarming manner. Now, however, I resemble the earth, because I have a bulge at the equator. My belly is ample in other words.

Yes, sometimes I mourn the loss of my very slender body, and the time when I actually had a waist. I like being pregnant with wisdom, but does it all have to settle in the belly? That's my little joke about it. Olson's essay points out the positive qualities of the belly and the ways in which we have forgotten its sacred nature.

She writes, "The belly is home to our body centered wisdom – our gut knowing, our instinct for self-preservation. So what does it mean to us as women that the life affirming presence of the belly has been replaced by a flat fat-less concave expanse between protruding hip-bones?"

In her essay she points out that we actually have two brains--one in the head and one in the belly. These days, most of our attention goes to the brain, ignoring the belly's knowing.  "Because while the brain rules thinking and doing, it is the abdomen, the gut that is the center of being. And what we have lost is our connection to that most feminine aspect of being – feeling. This is not a metaphoric claim, but a physiological fact."

There's more juicy stuff in that essay and you can read it all by clicking the link above, if the spirit moves you.

Another essay I enjoyed this week is Why I'm Giving Up the Anti-Aging Battle by Portland, Oregon writer Kristen Forbes.

 

In her essay, Forbes talks about how fear of aging is instilled into girls from adolescence on. She writes, “Anti-aging” is my least favorite term in the English language. It may as well be anti-human. Anti-reality. Anti-the-normal-course-of-human-existence. I see the commercials touting the virtues of youth and I understand their appeal, but I still find them disturbing. My stomach churns when I see that overused image of the hands on a clock turning backwards."

She continues, "The older I get, the more I’m told that in order to be more attractive (and therefore more successful and more admired), I must be more youthful... I should get makeup advice from women who are still in high school or college. I should downplay the significance of wisdom that accompanies aging and instead recognize the importance of perpetually looking and acting like a 15-year-old girl."

"Maybe it’s because I work at a retirement center. Maybe it’s because I’m with residents in their 80s and 90s every day. Maybe it’s because I witness the fragility of the end of life on a daily basis and I can assure you that if you make it that far, wrinkle cream will be the least of your worries."

Then Forbes gives us the punch line and asks the big question. "Getting old is a natural part of life. Getting wrinkles is natural. Sagging skin is natural. Thinning hair is natural. Why do we fight so hard against the things that are just a natural part of life?"

Why do we? I've certainly been exploring this in the songs that comprise A New Wrinkle, our musical revue on aging. I loved both of these essays and the landscapes they explore.

This week I went to pick up a foreign film to watch. It turned out that I had already seen The Wind Journeys or  Los viajes del viento, a 2009 Film Movement offering.  Watching it a second time, I relaxed into it even more fully, and greatly enjoyed it. If you need a fast paced film, this one is not for you. It is slow. Gorgeously filmed in 84 amazing natural locations in Columbia, the film tells the story of  Ignacio Carrillo an older man who spent most of his life traveling the villages of northern Colombia, playing traditional songs on his accordion-- a legendary instrument said to have once belonged to the devil.

After the death of his wife, Carillo decides to return the accordian to his old maestro. He sets out on a real hero's journey,  accompanied by a young man named Fermin, who longs to become a troubador like Ignacio. Their adventures, the landscapes they traverse and the final scenes at the home of the maestro--all are mystical, austere and moving.

Well, that is my report for now. I just finished writing an article I plan to send to Jenny Sasser for possible inclusion in her Gero-Punk Project blog. Jenny is the director of the gerontology program at Marylhurst College in Portland. A nationally recognized expert in the study of aging,  Jenny co-authored the textbook Aging Concepts and Controversies, seventh edition. My mentor Rick Moody is the other author.

Enjoy the holiday! Enjoy all the various levels of freedom we experience with each breath.