The Sea of Life

It's impossible to go through a day without returning several times to thoughts of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Whenever I think of it, I return to my childish superheroine fantasies.

Because everything that happens is part of us. The devastating earthquakes in Haiti and Tibet, the suicide bombers, the child brides. What news. I am sure it was no better in the past, but people did not know as much as we do today. We are given so much news of the suffering of the world. Even if we have anesthetized ourselves, we each carry a bundle of grief over the condition of the earth and of humanity. What to do with that grief?

Yesterday I wished I was Superwoman. I could fly down there and without any heavy pondering, wondering or littering of the ocean floor with various unworkable equipment, I could just remedy the catastrophe. And while I was there, I would clear the water of the oil that already gushed out into the ocean, and magically clean the living beings under and above the sea. If only I could do that.

So far, these heroic notions have not worked. I meditate and pray. Not heroic, not like Superwoman's exploits. I do the practice of Tonglen, breathing in all the poison, darkness, greed, sorrow and struggle and breathing out radiant light. I pray for happiness and ease for all living beings and of the earth itself. I pray for the harmony of the outer and inner elements.

To be alive at this time is to be keenly aware of how utterly and deeply foolish human beings can be, and what immense repercussions spill out over us all. Deep breath in and out. Remembering the essence.

Meanwhile, personal life goes on of course. I moved from the wheelchair to a walker as days of rain turned to warm spring sun. Ahhh...

I'm still working on a song "Are You Going to Take It with You to the Grave?" and visualizing how to bring my play A New Wrinkle forward to production. I will share excerpts from the play at the end of May at Peg Rubin's house in Ashland. Peg is the director of Center for Sacred Theatre. She also has collaborated for many years with Jean Houston in seminars that Jean presents. I've always thought Peg is an exceptional human being and am really looking forward to sharing the play with others at her place.

I have realized how much I want to share via solo performance gatherings and soon I will start to present solo performances titled "The Wisdom of Lived Experience." My first two performance gatherings take place in Ashland in June and July. I'll write more about them soon.

Just finished reading My Master's Robe by Thich Nhat Han, a beautiful book about his first months and years as a monk during the Vietnam war. Just re-read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche, which is one of my favorite books-- so juicy, inspirational and full of practical guidance. I'm also re-reading Myriad Worlds, a wonderful book about Buddhist cosmology. World systems and the cycles of time have fascinated me since I was a teen. Some things don't change much.

I hope that some things do change, and for the better. May a rain of blessings pour down on this earth. Breathing in and breathing out, I send you a smile.