SAGE'S PLAY

Mixed Bag: Dragons, Female Nomad, Creative Gestation

2012-01-26T20:27:00.000-08:00

Kwan Yin Riding a Water Dragon

This beautiful image was posted on Facebook by one of my friends there. I enjoy connecting on Facebook, which at the risk of sounding hopelessly romantic, often seems to me like visiting an old-fashioned general store.

2012 is the Year of the Water Dragon

In Asia, the dragon traditionally symbolizes potent powers, particularly control over water, rainfall, hurricane, and floods. The dragon is also a symbol of strength and good luck. The year of the dragon is considered to be the luckiest year in the Chinese zodiac-- an auspicious time for the good fortune roll in! Are you ready for that? I certainly am.

Some days Facebook is more like a bouquet or a mandala. Friends post beautiful images and inspiring quotes. There are updates on people and events that the news media seldom covers, and I sometimes laugh out loud often at comments, jokes and revelations we share there. It's ironic that even though I think of myself as a Luddite, someone who prefers a slower, lowtech world, I enjoy social media and the Internet quite a lot.

A Magical House

Here's another beautiful image that appeared on Facebook the other day. It has its origin in "Old Moss Woman's Secret Garden." OMW describes herself as a Public Figure. I imagine she would have chosen Archetype if Facebook offered that option but it does not. I haven't written about my penchant for magical houses for over a year, but that doesn't mean my interest in them has been quenched in the least. And this certainly qualifies as a magical house. Of course I have become curious about Old Moss Woman-- who she might be, where she might live, and how she might be spending her days. I have been following the adventures and pratfalls of other Public Figures, notably the Republican presidential contenders and I find Old Moss Woman and her images of fairy abodes and mossy gardens quite a welcome relief from the indelicate and sometimes alarming mess.

Tales of a Female Nomad

After my daughter rearranged some boxes of books she had stored in my tool shed I found a book lying on the shed's work counter. It was titled Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World. Most of my travels have taken place in the realms of my imagination; a well-written travel story always appeals to me. I picked it up, brought it into the house and began reading it. Tales of a Female Nomad is a story of late life liberation. Author Rita Golden Gelman felt stifled by the life she was living, surrounded by glamorous celebrities; she told her husband she'd like to travel for a month. She hoped that the adventure would change her perspective. It did. Her marriage dissolved and she began 15 years of journeying in many countries. She was in her late 50s when she began. Her style of travel is refreshing and full of instruction. It's an enjoyable read. I recommend it.

Ship of the Imagination

I found this image on Facebook too. A friend posted it recently. It's a painting by Vladimir Kush. I used it in my January Sage's Play newsletter. It captures the bouyant openness I associate with creativity. (P.S. You can subscribe to my monthly newsletter at the Sage's Play website.)

A New Wrinkle

My biggest creative event this week was a meeting that took place today with my old friend Carolyn Myers, a prize-winning playwright and actress. Carolyn describes herself as a theatrical bigamist because she participates in both the Hamazons improv comedy troupe and a second troupe, Crackpot Crones. Carolyn's creative expertise has been indispensible since I began creating A New Wrinkle 3 years ago. Three years ago! And I am still not satisfied with the script. It is not ready to share with potential producers. The songs are all wonderful, but the script needs more work. Thanks to Carolyn, whose observations and suggestions are always so incisive, I have some fresh ways to work with what I started to call the "bardos between songs."

It's magical to bring art forth from the imaginal world into the outer world. I've started staging photo shoots of characters in A New Wrinkle. It's fun. It gives me a break from the kind of focus required for working on the script and it continues the forward momentum. At the suggestion of photographer Helga Motley, I went to visit a woman doctor whose nickname is Troll. Troll has a big costume collection, a well-organized roomful of costume items of all kinds. I borrowed a beautiful cape and very tiny hat and I'm looking forward to using them soon for shots of both Baba Yaga and Mr. Death. We took some tango photos a week ago. Slowly, slowly. Patience is a virtue as my Mother always reminded me. I never appreciated that reminder as an adolescent, but now the power of duration and persistence has become more clear to me.

Aging as a Profoundly Creative Act

2012-01-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

This is the text for a talk I just gave at the Unitarian service in Ashland, Oregon.

Fifteen years ago, I plunged into the world of creative aging. Of course at the time I didn’t know that that’s what I was doing, as I began delving into the patterns and meaning of my life. It was the kind of exploration an archeologist makes, digging through layers that have gathered over time, finding talismans, surprising artifacts and highly charged relics. An invigorating and sometimes very heavy process traversing the terrain of peak experiences, dark nights of the soul, losses and sorrows, some of which had never been properly mourned until I unearthed them again.

A few years later, I learned that in the field of aging what I was doing had a name. It was called life review; it is considered one of the major inner tasks of aging.

Each stage of life presents us with developmental tasks and aging is no exception. What are the tasks of aging? According to Carl Jung there are 7 tasks of aging and they include:

1. Facing the reality of aging and dying

2. Life review

3. Defining life realistically

4. Letting go of the ego

5. Finding new rooting in the Self

6. Determining the meaning of one’s life

7. Rebirth – dying with life

Working on these significant assignments is an important aspect of creative aging. Older people naturally look within and reflect upon their lives. That’s why there’s something odd about the sarcastic way we hear the phrase “living in the past” used. It’s perfectly natural for older adults to reflect deeply upon the past. It’s an important aspect of the soul work of aging.

We’re in the midst of an age wave—some people call it a silver tsunami. In many countries of the world, there is a huge surge in the aging population. It’s something that has never happened before. In terms of creative aging, millions of people are investigating creative ways to remain healthy, vigorous and engaged. They’re exploring the meaning of their lives and seeking ways to share their skills and gifts.

Sharing our skills and gifts is an important role in later life. Nurturing, mentoring and teaching are part of creative aging. Psychologist Erick Erickson called it generativity. Generativity is the antidote for stagnation according to Erickson.

Cre·a·tiv·i·ty is defined as the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, to produce something new through imaginative skill, whether a new solution to a problem, a new method or device, or a new artistic expression. We all engage in creativity continuously. In fact, everything we do is a creative act.

Sometimes our creativity may be spelled with a big C – such as a project, a piece of art or craft, invention or idea we aim to share publicly. Sometimes our creativity may be spelled with a little c because it’s something more personal or private, like making a cradle for our grandchild, moving plants in our garden or writing a beautiful letter to an old friend.

Older adults are very creative and they have plenty of tools to do the job. To begin with, it is a highly creative act simply to be. As author Henri Frederic Amiel says, “Every life is a profession of faith, and exercises an inevitable and silent influence.”

Just being yourself is a creative expression. And by the time people are in their 60s, 70s, 80s or older they usually have perfected the art of being themselves. They’ve spent many decades in developing the maturity of their character, refining their values, polishing their skills, acquiring their unique point of view and way of being and last but certainly not least, older people often have relaxed considerably about what others think of them.

In those ways, there’s a kind of freedom that didn’t exist earlier in life. Not only that, but as one grows older one naturally has more of a panoramic perspective based on life experience and perhaps a certain amount of detachment from the immediate hustle and bustle. These qualities are some of the artistic tools that older people bring to creative aging.

Studies report that generally people are happier in later life than they ever have been before. I know that’s true for me and it may be for you, too. What is more creative than happiness? When we are happy, the good feeling radiates out like a beautiful gift to others. It is rather amazing that older people are so happy, considering the significant challenges all of us must undergo—illness, fixed incomes, the loss of loved ones and facing our own death among them. It’s rather paradoxical isn’t it, how as our bodies begin to give way, the spiritual aspects of our beings shine out.

The Creative Age is my favorite book on creativity in later life. It was written by Dr. Gene Cohen who until his recent death was director at the Center on Aging, Health & Humanities at George Washington University in Washington, DC. Dr. Cohen conducted a twenty-five year study on creativity and aging with more than 200 older adults.

“Expressing ourselves creatively can actually improve health, both mentally and physically,” Dr. Cohen said. “Creativity is a natural, vibrant force throughout our lives--a catalyst for growth, excitement and forging a meaningful legacy.” he added.

Some other points Dr. Cohen made about the value of creativity brings to wellness include these:

· Creativity reinforces essential connections between brain cells, including those responsible for memory.

· Creativity strengthens morale. It alters the way we respond to problems and sometimes allows us to transcend them. Keeping a fresh perspective makes us emotionally resilient.

· Capitalizing on creativity promotes a positive outlook and sense of well-being. That boosts the immune system.

· Having an active, creative life makes it easier to face adversity.

One of the beautiful freedoms of later life is the chance to investigate parts of ourselves we never had time for when we were busy working and raising our families. We can find great pleasure and refreshment in exploring something completely new, or finally returning to try our hand at something that fascinated us earlier in life, whether it be singing, dancing, photography, saving Social Security or joining the Peace Corps.

Social change is a creative area that especially interests many of us these days. There are many progressive social change causes I espouse, but my particular passion is this: I want to see social change in our culture’s views and beliefs about aging and its treatment of older adults. In a marvelous book of essays titled Audacious Aging, the spiritual teacher Ram Dass notes, “Issues of sexuality, gender and spirituality have come out of the closet…even birth and death are out as well. Aging remains one of our culture’s last taboos…it’s fair to say that we live in a society that would like to pretend that old people don’t exist.”

Ooof! There are many great things about our society, but this is not one of them. What choices: be invisible and marginalized or be the butt of sarcasm and mockery. If somehow you manage to evade this personally, you’re still affected by it. You’re guilty by association because you’re old. Old was once a highly venerated word but now as applied to humans it has the air of a dirty four-letter word, even though it has only three letters. How little has changed in our society since Dr. Robert Butler coined the word ageism 40 years ago. Ageism has never become a broad social cause the way racism and sexism have—but I hope it does. Age prejudice is still dismissed, laughed at or ignored. Widespread stereotypes about aging have significant repercussions on employment, health care, and social perceptions of the value of older people. I think we underestimate the effect of this on us as individuals and as a society. The report Ageism in America from the International Longevity Center is an excellent reference for educating yourself on this issue.

It’s time for a paradigm shift, a fresh view of aging that acknowledges the enormous contributions older people make to society, to science, the arts, business, family and community. Think Arthur Rubenstein, Martha Graham, Anna Halprin, Frank Lloyd Wright, Helen Keller, Carl Jung and Robert Frost. And this is just a smattering of well-known people. Older people make immense contributions yet our society continues to engage the same old hackneyed stereotypes--namely, that aging is a terrible disease to be avoided as long as possible and that old people are useless, awful and senile. How sad it is that we limit our view of aging to biological decline, while ignoring the vivid unique presence, contributions and soulfulness of each older person. How different this is from the views of some other cultures.

As author James Hillman wrote in his beautiful book The Force of Character and the Lasting Life, “Our ideas of older age need replacement. Like a hip that can no longer bear weight or a clouded lens that does not let you see out of your own head, we need to wheel our ideas into the operating room. But replacing outworn mental habits requires both attack and stamina.”

I hope that we can bring some of what we learned from the womens’ lib movement and the civil rights movement to the issues of age prejudice in our society. Ageism affects us all, whether we are consciously aware of it or not.

It was the sting of ageism that provoked me to start creating A New Wrinkle, a musical revue on aging. As an older woman and an artist, I found I couldn’t just sit quietly in the midst of our noxious assumptions about aging and old people. I felt called to express the unsung pleasures and opportunities of aging and to affirm the beauty, power, richness of spirit and resilience of older people. I’m not trying to romanticize aging, or to deny the intense life challenges it brings for each of us. But I do want to debunk toxic stereotypes and to illuminate a more life-affirming perspective. I want to contribute to creating a more age-friendly society, and this musical revue is one way I’ve chosen to move those ideas forward.

Aging is a powerful, profoundly creative time of life. It’s a time of harvesting, inspiration, insight, sharing our gifts and passing on our legacy. Imagine a society where the young seek out the wisdom of the old, where elders are happily included and appreciated and their valuable experience, skills and knowledge is utilized fully. That’s the society I imagine. The more of us that pool our imagination and action together, the easier it will be for us to create this kind of world, and that is something which will benefit us all, no matter what our age.

Welcoming New Experiences in Slow Time

2011-12-30T11:31:00.000-08:00

New experiences make time stretch out. That's why time goes so slowly for children. Everything they encounter is all fresh and new. The heart and brain get a workout with new experience; it slows time down.

The more familiar and routine the world becomes, the more quickly time seems to pass, according to neuroscientist David Eagleman, who wrote about our perceptions of time in a fascinating New Yorker article published earlier this year.

Time goes quickly when we have no fresh unexpected, unfamiliar experience. I've been musing about this at year end. I've lived in the same area for over 30 years. My life does have a familiar routine. I don't make resolutions for the new year, but I am certainly willing to say that I am open to fresh, challenging, healing, invigorating, provocative new experiences that stimulate growth and engagement, while bathing me in the beauty of slow time. Does that sound good to you too? She grins. It does to me.

NEW IMAGES SPARK THE IMAGINATION

For example, take this image of a cobalt blue bowl and five bright yellow lemons. It made me quite happy when I found it. It's an image I never saw before and it's so full of light, color and chi. It makes me think of Greece or Mexico. It makes me feel alive. I like feeling alive.

SETTING SAIL IN NEW WATERS

Another thing that gets me going are images of sailing ships. I can smell the salt air! The feeling of the wind in the sails and the possibility of new waters and new lands invigorates me.

Sometimes I like to imagine taking a voyage aboard a sailing vessel with red sails like this Vietnamese ship. Or sometimes I muse about sailing in a dhow somewhere off the coast of Kerala in south India. Nothing out there on the open sea, thank you. Not until I have a little more experience anyway.

COLOR, PATTERN, FESTIVITY!

The celebratory use of color and pattern always livens me up. And there are times when I think it would be so delightful to spend some slow time in a country where they decorate their buses and trucks with all manner of fanciful patterns and ornamentation. They look so much more playful and festive than our vehicles. This is a picture of a bus in India.

Wouldn't it be fun to travel in a gypsy caravan, as I believe I asked in another post a year ago or more. My father had a persistent fantasy of doing that, so perhaps I inherited it from him. People do this you know, in England and Europe. I love the thought. It wakes me up.

Or how about visiting some eco-villages where people are living cooperatively and growing their own food in beautiful gardens? That would be lovely. We do have some beautiful farmers right here, too. I must remind myself of what is right in my own environment. You know it's sometimes seeing the same thing with new eyes.

HEALING WATERS

This hot spring in Costa Rica looks rather wonderful to me, especially in the midst of winter. Ahhh, there is nothing like a hot spring to rejuvenate the body and soul. We have a hot spring right here in Ashland, Oregon where I have lived most of the time since 1977. And it would also be great to visit some hot springs farther afield. I'm open.

How can I infuse my life with new experiences in 2012? Will these new experiences come through travel, new people, new creative adventures? Will I seek new music, new ways of singing and new dances? New foods, a new language? How can I find ways to experience each day in fresh ways? What allows me to slow down into the magical attention of the child?

The truth is I have no idea what new experiences await in 2012. But I welcome them! So hark, ye new experiences, and hie thee hither into my life, which is ready to celebrate thy refreshment.

Thank you all for your interest in my work with creative, conscious aging.

Wishing for you that 2012 be a year full of delight, health, growth and profound enjoyment.

What the heart knows

2011-12-25T19:59:00.000-08:00

If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come. --Chinese proverb

Listen and attend with the ear of your heart.-- Saint Benedict

We think of the brain as the seat of intelligence. When my Tibetan friends talk about the mind though, they don't point to their heads, they gesture to their hearts.

The heart seems to be a big part of my end of year contemplations.

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in our culture. A person who has a heart attack may be brought back to earthly life with the help of a fibrillator, which no matter what else you can say about it, is not a subtle instrument. Our attitudes about the heart are not subtle either. We often consign the heart to sentimental purposes, ignoring its profound energetic qualities.

Isn't it possible that the prevalence of heart disease has something to do with the way that we dismiss the real power of the heart as a source of inner knowing and guidance, relying instead upon the cognitive inventions of the brain?

I love this Carlos Casteneda quote. "All paths lead nowhere, so it is important to choose a path that has heart."

Thinking about a path with heart naturally brings me to the Hopi prophecies. I first heard about them over 30 years ago and have reflected upon them ever since. According to the Hopis, humans undergo a continual struggle between their left and right sides-- the left being wise but clumsy, and the right being clever and powerful but unwise, forgetful of our original purpose.

The Hopis say that the three worlds before this present world were destroyed because humans chose the clever inventions of the intellect, the right hand way, over the clumsy wise innocence of the left hand way with heart. Now we're doing it all over again in the fourth world-- which is of course a big subject, and one that is on most of our minds--and our hearts.

So I do think about heart disease, in ways that are both collective and personal. My father died of a heart attack and my mother died of congestive heart failure. Theoretically that makes me prone to heart disease. Whether I physically die of what is called heart disease is much less important to me than cultivating the deeper health of my heart.

I practice to become truly good-hearted. I want to free my heart of the real heart diseases --malice, anger, and hatred.

These long winter evenings, I light candles and set my heart at ease. I set my heart at ease. Like this.

"I looked inward and the beauty of my own emptiness filled me until dawn." --Rumi

Did you know that the heart is the largest electromagnetic generator in the body? The electromagnetic field of the heart is 5,000 times stronger than the electromagnetic field of the brain. The heart is the real seat of consciousness.

I mentioned in a recent post that I was reading The Heart's Code by Paul Pearsall, Ph.D. There is some marvelous stuff in that book. I love the stories that the author presents about heart transplant patients. Thousands of people have heart transplants each year. It seems that many recipients have heart to heart experiences of the person who donated their new heart. The new heart may bring personality changes, new food preferences, different kinds of sense perceptions and memories that belong to the person who donated the heart. Researchers say that this is the rule rather than the exception. "I feel the other little boy inside me," one young heart recipient said. Fascinating.

Sending a warm greeting from my heart to your heart. May your heart be happy.

The Artist's Life: Wearing a Bold Headdress

2011-12-17T13:23:00.017-08:00

One of the things I love to do most is to lie on the grass and look up at the sky. Everything immediately slows down. Concerns, thoughts, feelings--it all relaxes in the face of that vast openness. During the day, I can count on the processional of clouds and at night the constellations of stars to align me with the beauty and pulse of nature.

It's too cold for prolonged skygazing these days as we head toward the winter solstice so brief sky glimpses must suffice for now. Very early this morning, while the world was still cloaked in darkness, I went out to take a look out at the dome of heaven. A moment after I stepped out onto the deck, a brilliant shooting star curved across the dark sky.

What a marvelous start to the new day. A new day. Each day seems quite a blessing to me. I enjoyed some coffee, did some meditation and then turned my attention to my To Do List.

I have a few big items on it. I'm planning to run a crowdfunding campaign through IndieGoGo and have to make a short video to introduce that. Have to develop the concept, write the script, plan the shots.

I'm searching for a keyboard musician who has a recording studio in order to record an instrumental soundtrack for 8 songs in A New Wrinkle.

I'm sending out letters and copies of our preview CD for A New Wrinkle to some folks in media and the field of aging as part of the effort to introduce people to the project, stimulate interest and get some of the songs from the revue played on the radio.

I'm preparing for some photo shoots in January with photographer Helga Motley. The resulting images will be used in A New Wrinkle's promotional materials. I am having fun imagining the costumes, poses and people needed to make this a reality.

In the midst of cooking this creative soup, I've been thinking of creating a headdress that says BOLD with the OLD a different color from the B.

What would you do wearing that, walk around on the street? my business consultant Gary Einhorn asks. I can't tell what he is thinking. Yes, of course I would I tell him.

But I know that if I am wearing a BOLD headdress, the experience will start to assume a life of its own. It will involve more than walking around on the street, though that is certainly interesting to consider in itself. By the time I finish imagining and creating the BOLD headdress, I will know a lot more about the persona(s) who want to be seen and heard while I wear the headdress. I'll know more about how to present the BOLD elder story.

I have to admit that I'm not 100% gung ho about this idea of the BOLD headdress, the way a successful movie star is when she has just signed a fabulous contract for what looks like a sure-fire movie. Because first of all I am not a successful movie star. I am a 70 year old non-celebrity writer/Buddhist/creative aging artist and activist. Sure I have the gift of an imagination that likes to run wild, and certainly I have some chutzpah and curiosity, but still.

Not only that but doing the BOLD thing out among the populace is not like signing a contract for a sure-fire movie. There's no contract. Instead it means stepping into unexplored and sometimes highly charged territory--the landscape of growing old, a place that many people fear, deny or find quite uncomfortable. It's not at all certain this will be a box office hit or what it will be.

Yes, sometimes I think what are you dreaming that up for? Yet I do notice how it perks me up to imagine stepping into the adventure of wearing a BOLD headdress.

What would it look like? Would it have jewels, sequins, feathers, veils, brocade, dried grass, seaweed or what?

I did a little research into headdresses and found some that I really liked, including these exquisite ceremonial headdresses from different cultures.

I love the pom poms on this one and the mirror up top center.

Wearing a headdress is like walking through some kind of doorway.

When you put on a headdress you are no longer operating in the confines of the mundane world. You have entered the surprising and more dreamlike world of theater, ritual and magic.

That is certainly one of the things that draws me to daydream about creating the BOLD headdress.

It's afternoon and I am making some sketches of possible headdresses just for fun. I am imagining what materials I might use to fashion one. That is as far as I have progressed. I have no idea whether I will get to this or when. The other items on my To Do List are making noises, talking to me about why I need to finish them first.

I am going to sign off for now. I'm cooking some wild mushroom soup and making some Italian swiss chard patties (there is probably a wonderful Italian name for this recipe, which I learned long ago from the mother-in-law of my first marriage). A few friends are coming over for some poetry and a potluck sharing of food....I'm looking forward to hearing and uttering some poetry tonight. And I know the food will be wonderful too.

Solstice blessings to you.

"Fortune befriends the bold." -Emily Dickinson

"Freedom lies in being bold." -Robert Frost

“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

When It's Too Late to Say Thank You

2011-12-10T12:47:00.000-08:00

"Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind."--Lionel Hampton

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice." - Meister Eckhart

I am a person who likes to say thank you to those who have helped me in any way. I think I am pretty conscientious about it. I have not been able to say thank you to several people who have been very important to me, and that has caused me to reflect on impermanence even more than usual.

I became motivated to write some songs about aging in 2009 because I wanted to debunk noxious stereotypes and illuminate some of the pleasures and richness of old age --with which many people, including older adults themselves, seem to have lost touch.

I had plunged into doing independent research on aging in 2000 when I began developing educational materials designed to teach caregivers of elders for Medifecta Healthcare Training. One document I read and reread was a report from the International Longevity Center titled Ageism in America. This is a thoroughly-researched, sobering look at the ways that tacit and unchallenged ageism affects elder's health care, longevity, work opportunities, economic status and representation in the media.

Robert N. Butler MD, one of the real pioneers of the field of aging, was a key figure in the development of that report. As the time passed and the songs accumulated, I wanted very much to say thank you to him and to tell him how much his work influenced the development of A New Wrinkle. I especially wanted to share with him the song Hip Hop Elder's Rant, a scathing indictment of the way we relate to elders, especially frail elders. I never got the chance to thank Dr. Butler though because he died earlier this year.

The incredible work that Dr. Gene Cohen did to shed light on the powerful capacity of the older brain and the links between creativity and wellness also inspired and influenced me deeply. Cohen's books The Mature Mind and The Creative Age are powerful and life-affirming ventures into the potential inherent in later life. Those books were like good friends. We talked a lot together and the conversation we had resulted in the song Scintillating Secrets of the Older Brain.

It was one of the first songs I wrote and I was looking forward to sending Dr. Cohen a recording of it, thanking him for his wonderful work. I didn't get the chance. He passed away in November 2009.

James Hillman's book The Force of Character and the Lasting Life has been and continues to be a powerful, provocative exploration of aging that draws me back to its pages again and again. Hillman's writing is extravagant, far-ranging, layered with myth and poetry.

In The Force of Character Hillman points out that in modern society, the longer we live the less we are worth. He speaks of our disconnection, the speed of our lives, a superficiality that we take for granted. He points out how even though we scorn and fear old people, we yearn for the deathless, ageless qualities of oldness--old cities, paintings, gardens. He speaks of the origins of the word old and its roots in the meaning "to nourish."

His writings on oldness sparked me to write a song I titled Reclaiming Old. It's a very lyrical, even mystical piece, sung by a chorus. It praises oldness and suggests that we reclaim the word old from the trash heap, that we embrace being old and oldness rather than continually trying to pass for young.

Rescuing language and reclaiming it from perverse and stereotyped uses is always part of raising awareness. Old is one word I definitely wish we would reclaim. Composer Laura Rich created a wonderful score for the song and I was happy with it. Wouldn't it be great to send a copy of it to Dr. Hillman? I mused. I didn't get a chance to do that as a way of thanking him. He died two months ago in October.

I am sure that all three of these men knew how valuable their work was and recognized their role in promoting an expansive, vibrant view of aging and later life. They had no need to hear my songs and recognize in them the resonance that came from their work. Perhaps they would have loved the songs, perhaps not.

The moral of the story is: we are mortal.

How excellent to have the opportunity to thank those who influence, help and love you while they are still around to have the conversation. If it's too late to say thank you to them while they are still in the flesh, then thank them in spirit and by carrying forth in your own work and life whatever life-enhancing, beneficial connection drew you to them.

That's what I tell myself.

Hmmm, to change the subject ever so slightly, did you see the lunar eclipse early this morning?

Thank you for your emails on these blog posts and my creative aging work. It is always great to hear from you. Here's to this precious moment and this precious life.

"Behold the turtle: He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out."

James Bryant Conant
1893-1978, Educator and Diplomat

Creativity is Ageless: Peaks and Long Planes of Light

2011-12-04T08:29:00.000-08:00

"If you would be a poet, discover a new way for mortals to inhabit the earth."
--Lawrence Ferlinghetti

“Poets peak young,” the creativity researcher James Kaufman maintains. The Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner, a leading authority on creativity adds, “Lyric poetry is a domain where talent is discovered early, burns brightly, and then peters out at an early age.” These quotes appear in a wonderful article titled Late Bloomers written by Malcolm Gladwell for the New Yorker. Why do we assume that genius arises only in the young? Gladwell asks, fueling the conversation with observations about artists whose genius peaked early in life and others who continued to create marvelous art later in life.

The presumption that brilliant creativity ends in youth has a hollow ageist ring to it.

W.B. Yeats wrote gorgeous lyrical poetry in his later years. Beat poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti is till going strong with creative work and life in his 90s. What about May Sarton? Her book Coming into Eighty is a classic work by an elder poet delving into the themes and issues of age.

Stanley Kunitz said something wonderful about the difference between writing poetry in youth and age. Kunitz won a National Book Award at 90 and became poet laureate of the U.S. at 95.

"In youth, poems come to you out of the blue," Kunitz told Mary B. W. Tabor in the New York Times. "They're delivered at your doorstep like the morning news. But at this age," he added, "one has to dig." He dug most beautifully. Here is a film clip of Kunitz reading his wonderful poem Touch Me. I highly recommended taking a couple of moments to experience him reading this poignant, sensuous poem.

I have contemplated the vividness of some older poets for years now. My interest in the subject was revived when I read Ruth Stone's obituary. Sometimes one learns about people only via their death. It's better than never hearing of their work at all, certainly.

I just bought two of Stone's books and have been getting acquainted with her work. Stone wrote poetry her whole life, but did not become recognized for it until she entered her 70s. She won the National Book Award at 87 and died very recently at 96.

Are you a lover or writer of poetry? Do you read poets who wrote marvelous poetry in their later years? If you haven't done so yet, there's still time. Older poets often impart fascinating insights into the aging process. As Plato said, "Poetry is nearer to vital truth than history." Or the daily news.

I wanted to share something else with you today. This Old on Purpose trailer describes the work of David Carey and the Aging Film Project. Carey's film explores the importance of meaning and purpose in later life. He investigates forging a new paradigm of aging through the lives of a variety of very alive elders. Take a look-- it's well worth it.

Carey is raising money to complete his film via the online fundraising platform Kickstarter and if you care about changing the stereotypes our society has about aging being an airless cul de sac rather than a vividly potent time of life, consider sending his Kickstarter fund some money so that he can finish this important work.

Third day of fog and hoarfrost here. Yes, the hoarfrost is very beautiful, and yes the fog is rather dank. Hope you are staying warm and happy.

The Blessing of Friends

2011-11-29T10:13:00.000-08:00

"Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." -- Albert Schweitzer

The other day I was contemplating various subjects. As usual I found myself musing about the brevity of life and my unfinished artistic and other projects. Will I live long enough to finish?

Of course not. One always pops the cork in the midst of things. Ha ha.

So I find it useful to practice bouyancy and detachment as well as passionate engagement. It's a paradox like so many things in life.

My thoughts turned to Occupy Wall Street-- a ray of hope for this sorry country. But even the unfolding saga of OWS cannot stop me from entertaining my escapist fantasies, which become more pronounced as the weather gets colder. I get the urge to pack everything up and move to Belize, Equador or Bali. The darker the days get the more attractive a leisurely expat life in some warm clime becomes.

Then my thoughts turned as they often do to the Tibetan master Gyatrul Rinpoche, who has been such a precious example and presence in my life since 1976. He continually lights the flame within me. He reminds me of the kind of being I aspire to become--thoroughly generous, kind without reservations and deeply wise.

I began to think of my other friends. I am blessed with some truly marvelous friends. Their character, qualities and the ways in which they respond to their lives also light the flame within me.

These beautiful flower images were taken by one of my friends, Melani Marx. Melani works with energy and helps people accomplish inner/outer change. She's a gifted healer and feng shui consultant-- she's brilliant on many levels. One of the gifts she shares is her ability to capture pure moments of beauty in photographs.

What a blessing it is to have real friends, who love, appreciate and accept everything you are -- and even give you a bit of constructive feedback sometimes on your habits or activities. (which can be shocking but is so useful when offered with all that love).

I think of my friends as a gorgeous mandala or bouquet. Each flower is gorgeous by itself, and altogether, quite a splendid display.

What is it that I find so beautiful about my friends? I began to reflect on their qualities and realized that my dearest friends are all complex and deep.

They are each committed to the process of healing and spiritual awakening.

Every one of them has a ridiculous and wonderful sense of humor.

My friends are insightful and creative. They are kind and sensitive.

They can be fierce if they feel it is needed.

Most of my friends have a marvelous capacity for storytelling.

One of my friends speaks in language that is so beautiful, rich and poetic, so ironic and incisive that when I'm conversing with her we enjoy a respite from the awful sound-byte style of communication folks ordinarily engage in these days. Instead, we venture into another more delicious way of being, exercising our poetic language muscles to row our boat far out into the ocean under the moon. I love that!

My friends have beautiful gifts and they share them with everyone they meet in the river of life. I am moved by each one of them, by their courage, their openness and their love.

Tesoro de mi vida--my friends are that to me.

One of my friends sent me this beautiful video clip of Mercedes Sosa and Joan Baez singing "Gracias a la Vida." Can you listen to this without crying? It sure moved me to tears the first time I heard it.

Now there are two sages at play!

"A friend is one before whom I may think aloud."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of."

- Sarah Orne Jewett

The Poetics of Aging

2011-11-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

"As a white candle in a holy place so is the beauty of an aged face."

---the Irish poet Joseph Campbell

The Poetics of Aging conference had already been going on for 2 days when I arrived at the Unitarian Universalist Church in San Francisco where it was being held. Described as "a gathering to celebrate elderhood and value aging as the basis for depth and wisdom," the conference featured some wonderful older artists, authors, psychologists and pioneers in the field of aging.

I missed some of the heavy hitters who were scheduled during the first two days. I was sad to have missed dancer/choreographer Anna Halprin's performance of The Courtesan and the Crone. I missed poet Judy Grahn's reading and the reading of old friend/poet Julie Rogers and her new husband David Meltzer, a well-known poet in the Beat school. I missed Marion Rosen, who developed the Rosen Method of bodywork. Halprin remains a vivid presence in her 80s and Rosen is still going strong in her 90s.

I've been to some big aging conferences, but the mood of those conferences never engaged me the way that The Poetics of Aging did, right from the start. I think it is because of the sensibilities and vision of Dr. Nader Shabahangi. Dr. Shabahangi is a psychotherapist and the CEO of AgeSong, an organization that operates several residential centers for elders as well as a training institute. AgeSong was the main sponsor of the conference.

I think that if I share a few excerpts from a recent interview with him at the SevenPonds blog you'll understand more about why I was so drawn to The Poetics of Aging, which certainly was a vivid expression of Dr. Shabahangi's philosophy and work.

In the interview, Dr. Shabahangi said, "When I got thrown into the world of assisted living in my mid-30s, I thought, this can’t be true; how is it possible that you have these beautiful, deep elders, tucked away, not part of society? I looked around and saw very few elders on the street, mingling with young people. I have lived in Italy, where you can go to any park and see people of all ages, but here I did not see any of that. I would tell elders, you have all this experience and knowledge; why are you tucked away? Often, I would hear, oh, I’m useless, I have no purpose. This came to me as a shock."

"I am pro-aging. I want to age because the more I age or mature, the better of a human being I become."--Dr. Nader Shabahangi

"I was raised by my grandparents," he continued. "From early on, the highlight of my day was to sit on my grandfather or grandmother’s lap and have them tell me stories about their lives. Just to look at my grandfather’s 70- or 80-year-old face and think, wow, look at how much this person has lived. So from childhood, I had this incredible appreciation and love for elders," he said.

I was very happy to learn of the work of Dr. Shabahangi, whose perspectives on aging are very much like my own. May his wonderful work continue to flourish and may his positive influence expand. What a beautiful person from the inside out.

It was marvelous to have the opportunity to sing in the church's sanctuary with its high, vaulted ceilings and beautiful stained glass windows. That architecture drew me to give voice to some wordless singing and it resonated beautifully in the space. I also rocked the place with Baba Yaga's Raga, shared a little from my book Songs of the Inner Life and talked about why I am so engaged with moving the musical revue A New Wrinkle out into the world. I had two other opportunities to share songs from the revue at the conference. Wearing the Baba Yaga wig, I played and sang along with songs from our new preview CD. It was a terrific experience on many levels. I enjoyed performing there and learned quite a bit by noticing the ways various people present.

John Gray was one speaker. Author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and other Mars/Venus books, he has been on the lecture circuit for years. He was a skillful, engaging speaker. Even though I agree with much of what he describes about the differences between men and women, the man just pushed my buttons. Bless his heart. I just don't see that the role of woman can be confined to sitting in the well-feathered nest waiting expectantly for her shining hero to return. Be that as it may. Not my cup of tea.

At the end of the first day, I joined my old friend Carolyn Myers and her theatrical colleague Terry Joan Baum, who had just run for mayor of SF on the Green Party ticket. We attended a retrospective celebration of the work of Krissy Keeler, founder of Wallflower Order and Dance Brigade. This was an absolutely astonishing event, far beyond easy description. I count it as one of the most outstanding artistic experiences of my life, period. What a fervent, amazingly varied, provocative artist Krissy Keeler is.

I enjoyed all the speakers at the conference, especially one cluster of presentations by Norm Amundson on metaphor, imagination and creativity really engaged my interest. I loved the improv comedy troupe from Stagebridge Theater and storytelling by Bob Kanegis and others, and the jazz singing by Faith Winthrop, who was celebrating her 80th birthday that day.

It was great to hear about the work of Barry and Debbie Barkan who have created warm and innovative ways of working with elders through Live Oak Institute in Berkeley. (I shared a house with Debbie at the time when she met Barry and haven't seen either of them since then, so it was wonderful to learn about how they have used the past 30 plus years.)

All in all, I think the Poetics of Aging conference was an auspicious beginning. It brought a wide variety of people together in order to contemplate aging in very fresh ways. I certainly hope that this conference is the first of many. I have so many ideas about what could enrich and expand the next gathering.

I was glad to spend a couple of days in the midst of the tribe of pro-aging elders. It was rejuvenating, stimulating, delightful.

The ride back up to southern Oregon was wonderful, too. We stopped in Mt. Shasta where the bright snowy mountain shone in the sun. We breathed in the fresh mountain air and collected some delicious water from the headwaters pool.

It's amazing how much can change while you are somewhere else for a couple of days. When I got home, I saw that all the leaves had fallen from the trees in wonderful deshabille, as this poetic image of Lithia Park by Graham Lewis shows.

That's the news from this cottage. Hope your Thanksgiving holiday is full of love and joy.

I am thankful for many things. For poetry. For awareness. For this strong wind that blows the trees around my house tonight.

A New Wrinkle's preview CD is here!

2011-11-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

Monday morning and we are jazzed by the arrival of the first shipment of our preview CD for A New Wrinkle! Here is the back cover with its listing of songs and contributing artists plus a funding appeal and the front cover where the beautiful octagenarian Jonnie is blowing the seeds of a dandelion puff.

The 4 songs sound great and the whole package looks good. We are pleased.

The sun is out, the leaves are drifting down off the big trees on this quiet street, and I am musing about what we've accomplished so far as I prepare to attend the Poetics of Aging conference later this week in San Francisco.

I am very excited about the conference, because I suspect it will be an amazing gathering of exciting older artists, psychologists and other pro-aging people. Ahhhh! I'll give you a report when I return.

We've already sent out some copies of the new preview CD to our current donors and we are selling copies for $10 to local supporters we connect with in person in the Rogue Valley. I investigated listing the CD on amazon.com but decided not to do it when I realized that we ourselves would still be doing the mailing of the CD. So we will let people know about it through the Sage's Play website and other forms of networking.

If you'd like a copy, we can send you one for $14 including postage if you are in the US...Send your check to Sage's Play, Box 484, Ashland, OR 97520. International friends, if you want a hard copy, postage will be more of course.

Now more fun is in the air, as we begin to develop a promotional package that will include the CD. The promo package will contain a series of photos that portray characters in the revue--- I am starting to look at costumes and talent for that. That is going to be so much fun to put together--getting Baba Yaga, Hip Hop Elder and others in the revue out photographically.

And I am planning to send a copy of the CD to a variety of people--people who are well-known older adults like Betty White and Clarissa Pinkola Estes, as well as media folks and possible funders.

Anyone have good contacts at AARP or any other ideas on media to move this forward? Please do share.

Several readers of this blog and my monthly newsletter (you can subscribe at www.sagesplay.com) have suggested that I do a crowdfunding campaign through Kickstarter.

My fiscal sponsor, Fractured Atlas, is affiliated with another crowdfunding platform called IndieGoGo. I am looking into developing a campaign through them. Crowdfunding is a great way to raise money. We may not be quite ready to apply for foundation grants so crowdfunding could be the most effective way to develop the funds to produce and film the revue.

I always appreciate your taking the time to write to me and present your thoughts and ideas. Thanks for your support of my work to raise awareness about the rich potential of later life and to catalyze positive change in our society's views on aging.

For breakfast this morning with my coffee, I had some of the delicious sweet Italian pumpkin bread I baked last night. That was wonderful, and I enjoyed it thoroughly even though I realize that I must return to my low-carb diet because I am puttting back on some of the weight I lost due to pasta, grains and yes the sweet Italian pumpkin bread.

There have been so many wonderful experiences in the past week or so--there was some ecstatic dancing with Rachel Resch at a NIA gathering. I loved making dinner for my daughter and her boyfriend. I received a beautiful gift of wild mushrooms from my daughter from her recent foray into the woods. Chantarelles, hedgehogs and false matsutakes. What delicious and potent foods they are. I visited my dear composer colleague Laura Rich and talked with her about next steps to move A New Wrinkle forward. I also reconnected with some old friends who run a lavender farm/ garden in nearby Williams, and had a visit with another cherished old friend here at my new home. An article I wrote on A New Wrinkle was just published in the current issue of Elderwoman News, Marian Van Eyck McCain's e-zine. Thanks to the amazing Barb Barasa who cares for my website, we now have snippets of some songs from the revue posted at www.sagesplay.com.

Gary Einhorn, my business consultant, suggested at our last meeting that I tend to focus on everything I have not gotten done yet, rather than acknowledging what I have done. Acknowledge your accomplishments, he gently urged. I've started to do that as part of my work life. I've found that it makes quite a difference. Now my attitude about my work is more balanced with my attitude about the rest of my life (if it's possible to make those distinctions since everything is so interconnected.)

Overall, I am quite aware that I am blessed in so many ways. I experience a great deal of love, beauty, inspiration and peacefulness in my life. That is leavened by the stimulation and challenge of my creative aging work which includes bursts of creativity and invention, uncertainty, wondering how to move forward, puzzling about this and that. Uncertainty, hesitation and puzzling over things add spice to life!

This morning I am sitting here wondering what new treasures, challenges and surprises this week will bring. Maybe I'll dig in the garden or take a walk in the park to break up my work day.

Memento Mori: Impermanence and Death

2011-11-08T05:56:00.000-08:00

"Life's most awesome event is death...Death is inevitable, but how you die--terrified and confused, or peacefully and with spiritual mastery--is within your control."
--Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche

"Forgetfulness of your real nature is the real death;
rememberance of it is the true birth."
--Ramana Maharshi

In my early 30s, I became fascinated with Tibetan Buddhism and began attending teachings given by Tibetan lamas in Berkeley. My first teacher was Tarthang Tulku Rinpoche. I attended heady seminars populated with leading intellectuals like Charles Tart and Claudio Naranjo. Studying with Tarthang Tulku, I had experiences of non-ordinary reality that opened up my perceptions about what actually is real. I've written about some of this in my book-in-progress, Songs of the Inner Life, but here in this blog essay I wanted to share one particular event that had a profound impact on me.

One day, two young women who lived near Tarthang Tulku's Berkeley residence knocked on his door, distraught. They wanted to talk with the lama because their father had just died with a tormented expression on his face. His daughters found that expression unbearably painful. They came to ask if there was anything that they could do to help their father. Tarthang Tulku went upstairs and came back holding in his hand a round mandala made of several kinds of metal. He gave the young women the round disc and told them to put it on their father’s heart. He gave them a simple prayer to recite. The two women returned an hour later, very happy. As soon as they put the mandala on their dead father’s chest, they reported, his body relaxed, and the expression on his face changed to a peaceful one.

What changed the torment of a dead man to peace? Was it the metal mandala? The power of the lama’s meditation training? The daughter’s faith? Or some mix of all of that? These were the questions I asked in the months after I heard the story. And though no one ever gave me an answer that could pass for scientific, I didn’t care, for the event itself described the kind of science I valued. I wanted to find ways to engage in positive spiritual practices with practical results.

A few years later, I moved up to Ashland, Oregon with a man that became my second husband. We started a healing center. A year later, we were fortunate to help to found Tashi Choling, a Tibetan Buddhist center in the mountains outside of Ashland, which remains a vital source of Tibetan Buddhist teachings today. One of the teachers who visited Tashi Choling in the early days was Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche, whose photo is above. He was a truly beautiful, warm, humorous and profound being--a meditation master, physician and artist. One of the teachings I received from him was Phowa, a method of transferring one's consciousness at the moment of death. Chagdud Rinpoche became well-known during his life for sharing the Phowa teachings.

A group of us gathered together in the Tashi Choling shrine room and practiced Phowa meditations with Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche for nine days. It was a delightful time. At the end of the retreat, Chagdud Rinpoche tested each person for the results of the practice. With successful Phowa practice, the fontanelle at the top of the head opens and softens. A straw can be inserted into it. Some clear fluid or blood may come out, too. Every person in the group successfully displayed the results of the practice. Even the young daughter of one practitioner who came into the shrine room occasionally to sit on her father's lap had the fontanelle opening.

I have a great many things to be thankful for in this life, and my connection with Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche and the blessing of his Phowa teachings is certainly one. The closer I come to my own death, the more grateful I am for that time we spent together.

Inspired and Inspiring Elders

2011-10-29T20:36:00.000-07:00

Since I started writing this blog, I have covered a variety of inspired and inspiring elders. Some of them are elders whose lives and work I already am aware of and others are folks I have found in articles in major newspapers. This week on the NPR site, I saw an article on a 100-year old man finishing the Toronto marathon. Here's a photograph of Fauja Singh after he crossed the finish line.

Singh, a British citizen born in India, took up running at the age of 80.

I was saddened to note the passing at 83 of James Hillman, a brilliant thinker, fascinating writer and Jungian psychologist whose book The Force of Character and the Lasting Life is one of my favorite books on aging. The New York Times obituary provides some details of Hillman's life. I spent months contemplating Hillman's writings as I developed Sage's Play and began to write A New Wrinkle. He was a major influence for me.

I wanted to review some of the people I've featured in this blog because lately people have been talking to me about how hard they find it to locate positive news about elders. I am very aware of ageist prejudice but I also manage to find wonderful stories about inspired and inspiring elders in major media.

In my October 23rd post, I mentioned 92-year old folk singer Pete Seeger appearing the other day at Occupy Wall Street. In June, I linked to Dominique Browning's great article on natural aging The Case for Laugh Lines, which appeared in the New York Times.

In May I featured the 82-year old British model Daphne Selfe. "Your face is your history," she commented. "If you have a few lines, it's your life that you've lived, and people should embrace that. Some [models] want to alter themselves and I hear talk about getting all this wretched cosmetic surgery done, but I don't want to do that myself as it costs too much, it might go wrong and what's the point? It won't stop you from getting old."

Also in May I mentioned a great article from the New York Times on 100-year old Bel Kaufman, author of Up the Down Staircase, a lively gal who likes to dance the mambo and tango. Another blog from May links to a New York Times article about comedienne Betty White.

In my April 8th blog, I covered the cross-Atlantic sailing voyage of the An-Tiki whose crew was led by 85-year old captain Anthony Smith. The rest of the crew of three men were between 56 and 71. They successfully completed their 2,800 journey across the Atlantic on April 7th when they reached St. Maartens on their raft made of pipes after 66 days at sea. The expedition was intended to raise awareness about lack of clean water on the planet and to raise money for WaterAid. The An-Tiki voyage--yet another example of late-life adventure and altruism.

In that same blog I featured a 91-year old retired dentist who took up body-building at the age of 85. I found out about both the sailing trip and the body builder in the Guardian, a paper from the United Kingdom.

In February I featured 91-year old track star Olga Kotelko. I read about her in the New York Times. Yes, the New York Times prints many wonderful articles on inspired and inspiring elders.

However, the New York Times also has an editorial policy that favors the use of the word elderly as a generic way of describing older adults. Ronni Bennett in her great blog Time Goes By posted on October 25th a letter she wrote to NYT editor Arthur S. Brisbane protesting the Times' prejudicial use of the word elderly. As she pointed out in her letter, elderly is a word that implies frailty and does not apply to the vast majority of elders. Hopefully the New York Times will see the light and change its generic nomenclature to older adults, which is neutral.

Over the past two years, I've written about dancers, painters, sculptors, political protesters, explorers and writers. All of these folks are in their 70s or better.

I consider it great fun to explore the media and find positive, inspiring stories about older adults. This time of life is an adventure on both outer and inner levels.

How do you find the good news about inspired and inspiring elders?

Things you can do at 92 when you're Pete Seeger

2011-10-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

Here I am sitting in my casa in Phoenix, Oregon watching some You Tube clips of 92-year old Pete Seeger walking in the crowd of protestors at Occupy Wall Street. Last night Seeger, Arlo Guthrie and a few other musicians did a short impromptu concert there. The crowd was singing This Little Light of Mine and We Shall Overcome, songs that Seeger helped to popularize during the anti-war and civil rights protests of the Sixties.

That was 50 years ago. Some of us have been waiting for a long time. It seemed that the U.S. populace was lulled into stupification for so many decades. But finally here we have a bona fide popular uprising. Hallelujah. Long time coming. It's impossible to know what will come of it, but as Occupy Wall Street protests continue, it does my heart good. I feel my cynicism melting a bit, exposing how deeply I long for real, positive change to take place in this country. Starting with a radical change in the power and structure of corporations and the terrible corruption of Congress.

That phrase I don't know anything about art, but I know what I like comes to mind when I think about politics. I don't know much about politics but I know what I like. I like peace and ecological diversity. I like it when people have plenty to eat and when they enjoy life and each other. On this earth plane, it seems that those simple riches can involve a terrible amount of struggle. I rejoice that so many people are inspired to stand up for change.

Take a look at the crowds that are gathering at Occupy Wall Street, and notice the white heads among the younger folks. That is real sage's play in my book. Like Seeger at 92, an elder with decades of commitment to cultural change.

I really enjoyed what journalist Chris Hedges had to say about various revolutionary movements he witnessed firsthand and how he views the current Occupy Wall Street movement. It's moving. I'm moved. Are you? What's your take on this popular uprising that we find ourselves in the midst of?

In Medias Res

2011-10-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

In medias res is a Latin phrase that means "into the middle of things." The story begins in the middle or towards the end, with flashbacks.

The phrase came to me this morning as I woke, which was a pleasant change from waking with the music of Baba Yaga's Raga or Sex after Sixty going full tilt boogie in my mind as they have been each morning for over two weeks. I suppose they will fade back one day soon, or at least that is my hope, much as I enjoy those two songs of mine. Having songs you've written greet you that way as soon as you wake is a bit like having your kids wake you up by jumping around on the bed.

Jack Leishman's photo--"The View from Grouse Gap on Mt. Ashland"

Well, I couldn't wait until winter to re-read Thomas Wolfe's Look Homeward Angel, as I said I would in a recent post. I went to the library immediately and took the book home. I can see why I loved it so much when I was 17. Decades later, I am weary of contemplating grotesque families seen through the eyes of a sensitive misunderstood artistic genius. I confess I skipped parts of the story. It may be great writing but it just doesn't captivate me the way it did.

Instead, I content myself with reading Jane Kenyon's Collected Poems. She suffered from depression but had a very happy marriage. Her poems are wonderful. There are so many of her poems I love. Like this one.

Otherwise

I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.

At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.

I much admire anyone who can take wonderful photographs. I have not mastered that art myself. I love Jack Leishman's images of our regional landscapes. Jack was kind enough to allow me to include a few of his photos here. These two are taken at Crater Lake, one of the most magical places in Oregon.

May you find such beauty in your home ground.

The Freedom of Nothing to Lose

2011-10-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

Steve Jobs's eloquent speech at Stanford University's 2005 commencement ceremony has been widely circulated since Jobs's untimely death at 56. Perhaps you've already perused what he had to say more than once. I know I have. Some comments are worth reading over and over.

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."

I'm struck by how direct Jobs was in discussing the keen edge that death brings to human life. Death is a subject that is often concealed or denied in our society. But there he was at a celebratory commencement ceremony laying out the basics.

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life."

"It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.""Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

What passionate, honest and liberating advice. I join millions of others in feeling saddened that he's gone. He was a brilliant, independent artistic genius.

How many of us live with the fierce, joyful freedom of having nothing to lose? Of being unconcerned with the opinions of others? Of following one's own heart and intuition? I reflect on these questions fairly often.

There's a keynote for one homeopathic remedy (I don't recall which one) that goes "half dead on one side and buried on the other." I can relate because that phrase describes how I felt for many years.

I cared far too much about the opinions of others. I helped others to fulfill their goals rather than fulfilling my own. I didn't understand how to engage my gifts or offer them.

I recognize that this slow and late-flowering understanding about the innate freedom we all have was my own necessary way of maturing--though it would have been grand if I found my way out of the various confines that held me decades earlier. I wasn't ready for that yet or so it seems.

Now that I'm in the final stretch, I appreciate life as an exhilarating adventure in ways I never did earlier. I enjoy engaging in challenges that I would have dismissed as impossible decades ago. Impossible? Oh, really? Hmmm....let's see if that's really so.

I'm not saying I have no resistance to learning new things or that I flow effortlessly into the fresh assignments that appear as my work and life evolve. I can be found digging my heels in pulling back at the idea of learning how to use webinar technology or calling philanthropists I've never met to describe my musical revue and its funding needs. But if it is part of what I want to engage, I engage it after a bout of hopefully not too obvious kicking and screaming.

What a gift it is to have this freedom and the time and energy to engage in the deeper meaning and purpose of life. Work/play in creative aging and healing work is one part of that for me, and engaging in my inner or spiritual life is another. Doing and being--two aspects of one big adventure.

What about you? Do you feel more free in the ways that Steve Jobs described in his speech? What makes you feel free and fulfilled?

P.S. My first Healing Power of Memoir and Life Review workshop takes place this Sunday, October 16th in Ashland, Oregon. There are two places still available. This flyer gives some details. If you'd like to join us, call or email me to register.

Of Time and the River

2011-10-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

"All things on earth point home in old October; sailors to sea, travellers to walls and fences, hunters to field and hollow and the long voice of the hounds, the lover to the love he has forsaken."
--Thomas Wolfe

I was 18 when I read Thomas Wolfe's wonderful Look Homeward Angel, a book written in a passionate, gorgeously poetic stream of consciousness style that I found absolutely thrilling. This morning I tell myself firmly I must get a copy of the book this winter and read his chronicle of "the strange and bitter magic of life" again.

Put it on your list, Gaea says that one inner voice. Yes, another voice within replies. I imagine you have various inner voices too.

It was Thomas Wolfe's writing that inspired Jack Kerouac to start writing. Kerouac later abandoned Wolfe's romantic style to forge his own version of stream of consciousness chronicles. Now Kerouac is much better known. Such are the vagaries of literary fashion.

Incidentally, I mean Thomas Wolfe who is often considered one of America's great mid-century writers, not Tom Wolfe the journalist known for Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test and Bonfire of the Vanities.

I never read Thomas Wolfe's second book Of Time and the River, but that did not stop its title from dancing into my mind this morning as I was musing about how quickly the summer streamed by-- and how quickly the years have streamed by.

This is a recurring topic of late. And it's perfectly natural that as one ages, one sits by the river and contemplates the flow of time.

Now it's autumn already. It's 2011 already. I am 70 already. Protesters are occupying Wall Street, the president of Brazil postponed (hopefully forever) flooding a huge swatch of the Amazon rainforest and we are in the midst of gigantic global, political and economic changes. These are the times we live in.

So of course it is a perfect time for an ancient Japanese poem about autumn.

The hanging raindrops
have not dried from the needles
of the fir forest
before the evening mist
of autumn rises.
--the monk Jakuren

P.S. For more news about Sage's Play projects and events, please visit my website and subscribe to my monthly e-newsletter. I wish you would.

The value of late life journeys into memoir and life review

2011-09-24T09:32:00.001-07:00

I no longer remember the exact day I began an archeological expedition whose purpose was to delve into my life history in order to understand it better. I was in my mid 50s and I was living in a rustic house at the foot of Tashi Choling, a wonderful Tibetan Buddhist temple I had helped to found years before.

I am a person who relishes an occasional riotous discard of papers due to the misplaced hope that their destruction will bring freedom from onerous details of self and mundane life. Because of that habit, I have no notebooks from that time.

Fortunately, that habit has not reached my computer records so I do have a chronological set of files that describe the scope of my themes and how I approached them over time. Writing this particular book Songs of the Inner Life has occupied my imagination for the past 15 years. I've worked on it intensely for months at a time, then set it aside and taken it up again, over and over. I've written three quite different drafts. When one has spent that much time on a project, it assumes a dreamlike quality. Will it ever emerge as a finished book? That's certainly my firm intention. And now at 70, I finally feel mature enough to do it.

There is a marvelous exhilarating energy about setting off on a voyage, though that excitement may be mixed with certain misgivings and fears. That was my mood as I began exploring my psyche and personal history, intending to dig as deeply as needed to unearth new insights and healing artifacts. I had no idea when I started that I had plunged into the process of life review, which is considered an important developmental task of later life.

I began the first draft of the first chapter by contemplating the mysteries of how a singular human being precipitates from light into matter.

"A baby is still close to the angels. Its newness melts us. Its skin soft as a flower petal, its sweet breath, tiny hands and feet move us to wonder. Babies sometimes seem as if they are not quite in their bodies yet. We suspect that they may be lingering in luminous realms which have become invisible to us. Perhaps that's why being with a baby brings us back to the state of beginners’ mind, beginners’ eyes, beginners’ smile. And when we look into a baby's eyes, we feel that we are gazing out into the spacious reaches of the universe, or deep inside the secret wisdom of the uncreated.. A baby brings us into the ecstasy of the present moment."

I was working up to exploring some difficult terrain, and it helped to start by remembering original grace. After that, I spent months exploring and writing about my deepest childhood wounds, the beliefs and experiences that led me to feel worthless, isolated and deformed. It was hard going, but I kept on slogging through it, infusing the process with breaks for meditation and walks in Nature.

I agreed to engage in a continued encounter the Shadow because I wanted to heal. As they used to say in that old radio show about The Shadow, "The Shadow knows!" It's true. Digging into those layers was not an easy job, but I am very glad I did it.

"Writing memoir is not for the meek," a fellow writer wrote recently on Facebook, that beautiful mandala of offerings from other humans (whose management manipulations are sometimes terribly annoying.)

Of course, there were times on the journey when I felt as if I had become lost in a labyrinth. Not a labyrinth as beautifully green as this one but a forlorn rocky confusion of dead ends, isolation and being walled off from the rest of life.

I endured the hopeless confinement of one who felt she would never find the way out.

Is the way out, or in--or just relaxing and sitting still in the moment?

I am looking forward to returning to this book during the reflective months of winter. I am about to publish an excerpt preview of the Introduction and first three chapters of Songs of the Inner Life soon. I will let you know when it is available on amazon.com.

My recent article on memoir and life review (mentioned in my previous post) was mentioned in the September News Briefs of the National Center for Creative Aging!I am pretty pleased about that.

Because I believe so much in the powerful integrative and healing qualities of memoir and life review, I will be offering workshops devoted to that exploration through poetry, movement, deep relaxation, storytelling, voice and prose. A one-day workshop is coming up in Ashland, Oregon on October 16th. Please email me at gaea.yudron@yahoo.com or call me at 541-535-3084 if you would like to register. Fee is $50.

I plan to develop an online version as well so that friends in far places can participate.

Interested in walking through fire, discovering forgotten talismans in long forgotten sites, finding understanding and resolution that provides release from old issues, coming face to face with original grace, recognizing and engaging your deepest gifts? Memoir and life review is a way to do all of that and more.

Happiness is The Old Magic

2011-09-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

One has to start somewhere after a blog absence of over a month (or even of a day), so I will start with happiness and with these lines by Jane Kenyon, who is one of my favorite poets.

"There’s just no accounting for happiness,
or the way it turns up like a prodigal
who comes back to the dust at your feet
having squandered a fortune far away."

Kenyon suffered from bouts of serious depression and that certainly colored her view of happiness as a prodigal returning home at last. I can relate to the prodigal returning image. The appearance of happiness sometimes feel like that.

This morning I'm musing about what makes me happy. I find pleasure and happiness in creating beauty. This vista at my kitchen window gives me an inner smile. I feel happy looking at this beautiful image taken one day in late summer at the Umpqua River on a beautiful summer day with dear Frannie and her family. Nature makes me very happy. It's rejuvenating and endlessly fascinating. Meditating makes me very happy. Dancing, gardening, cooking, singing and writing make me happy. Being with good friends makes me happy. Helping others with healing work makes me happy. I generally feel happier now that I did earlier in life. People say that happens as we age. It's paradoxical. Is it the keen edge of mortality? Is it letting go of many things that troubled us when young? Is it slowing down and enjoying the moments more fully? Seems to me it's all of those elements. Humans have an innate capacity for happiness and contentment no matter what the circumstances. Pursuing happiness sounds terribly tiring but I like relaxing into it. It's always there in the awareness of the present moment. Drinking the coffee. A hummingbird zooms past the window. The leaves on the birch tree twinkle in the breeze. Oh my, summer is nearly over already.

We are headed into the season of harvest. Today I head over to Dave Scoggin's studio again to lie on the couch as a very interested but musically unschooled observer while my composer colleague Laura Rich and Dave continue their fascinating work to mix the song tracks for the promo CD for A New Wrinkle, our musical revue about aging.

This beautiful photo of Jonnie Z is one of a series that photographer Helga Motley took. One of those images will grace the CD jacket very soon. Yes, that CD project will come to completion.

Tomorrow I will host the first Sage's Play salon of 2011. I did not do very marvelous publicity for it, and so I have no idea who will show up for it. The topic is "Is Aging a Terrible Disease or a Valuable Stage of Life? The salons are a way for elders to talk about how they think and feel about aging and will naturally support a more vigorous community of elders. This is a flyer that Christer Rowan designed for Sage's Play's fall programs.

It's rewarding to move forward with these projects and to see them come to a successful conclusion. Even if not many people show up tomorrow for the salon, I have the opportunity to do a better job next time.

And today my essay on The Healing Power of Memoir and Life Review appears in Inner Peace column of the Daily Tidings, Ashland's paper. I am going to be offering a on-day workshop on that topic on October 16th.

It is satisfying to harvest--whether it's creative projects or garden bounty. After seeding, cultivating and nurturing for months, there's a lot of pleasure from reaping the bounty. Hope that your harvest, whether inner or outer, is a beautiful one.

A Cottage Embraced by Roses--and Ivy

2011-08-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

For years I imagined living in a place surrounded by flowers-- and now here I am--this is my second week in my new home, which I call Casa de las Flores. Perhaps it sounds a bit magical to womanifest a home from the imagination and there was certainly magic in it-- but it was also three months of uncertainty dealing with brokers, banks and paperwork-- adding up to the most stress I've experienced since my second marriage broke up 14 years ago. I personally like to keep a low stress profile.

Real estate is crazy these days, as my agent said several times. Since the fiscal meltdown in 2008 things have gotten wacky. Real estate being just one small example of the wackiness at present. But finally everything worked through to a successful finale and with the help of Guatemalan Carlos and his friend my precious treasures, Important Papers, unfinished manuscripts, kitchenware, books and memorabilia were schlepped here to Phoenix, two towns away from Ashland.

The garden in front of the house is filled with roses, herbs, daylilies, crysanthemum, beebalm, daisies--in fact I haven't completely surveyed all the myriad plants that ornament this piece of ground, attracting butterflies and bees. There's an old-fashioned swing that seats two people in the front yard, too.

I want to paint those black shutters blue! They are not actually working shutters but decorative reminders of real shutters. No matter, I want to paint them blue.

The front of the house was built in the 30s, and then an addition of another bedroom and bath was added 15 or more years ago. I am a fan of cottages from the 30s and 40s. They have a cozy, welcoming quality. That feeling of welcome-- in addition to the marvelous garden-- was what magnetized me to this place. It was the only place I looked at and the only one I was interested in living in. So I suppose it was already arranged in the realm of the imagination. But one still has to go through all the hoo-haa because we are on the Earth Plane.

I've been told that there are 25 rose bushes here. I haven't counted them yet, but I have begun to get acquainted with each of them. Even in August, some of them are blooming splendidly.

The woman who put together the front garden 30 years ago did a beautiful job. I don't know if she was the same person who planted the many varieties of ivy in the back yard. I am going to try to find that out from the next door neighbor, who has lived here for a long time.

Now there are many things that you can say about ivy. It's a beautiful plant and one sacred to Dionysus and no doubt other Greek gods. It's famous for being invasive. Yesterday I felt that there was about an acre of ivy I was dealing with. It has not been pruned for many years. I divested a cedar tree and a pine tree from great circles of ivy that wound far up their trunks, not a healthy thing for those trees--or for any of the other plants that wild Dionysian ivy is smothering. I am amassing great piles of cut ivy. Big as haystacks. Satisfying.

This morning I had an insight while drinking my coffee and thinking about the ivy.

All that ivy!

Not only in the yard but also festooning the wallpaper of the kitchen!

There are even little decorative tendrils of ivy twining on the overhead light fixtures. Hmmm....someone really did have quite a passion for the stuff.

One thing is certain. That wallpaper has got to go.

Dark outside now, the sound of crickets. Time to rest. Tomorrow in the morning there may be the sound of a dove.

Two Pictures on a Monday in July

2011-07-11T16:22:00.000-07:00

For the past months, I have been busy with a project that I have kept to myself until now. It's still not a fait-accompli, but hopefully it will be very soon. I am purchasing a sweet house in the nearby town of Phoenix and very much looking forward to moving there. For now, I am calling my new place Casa de las Flores. It has marvelous old gardens. The whole enterprise has taken much longer than I wished, but I have to keep the goal in mind and relax about the delays--which can be rather challenging some days. The transaction should be finished by July 22nd. Oh, patience is a virtue. Mother always told me that. This is certainly giving me some practice.

Rather than regale you with photographs of the boxes that are accumulating chez moi, I thought I would share these two images instead. I find this one rather idyllic. An elder gentleman sitting under the tree reading, surrounded by ripe fruit that has fallen around him. It has a wonderful fairy-tale like quality, rather timeless, as if he has been sitting there for ages. And perhaps he has.The second picture captivates me, too. I love the easy intimacy it portrays-- two unique older people simply enjoying a moment with each other.

I am always on the lookout for great images of elders for Sage's Play. I also search for photos for Medifecta Healthcare Training, to use on the covers of DVDs the company produces. It is much easier to find interesting photographs of elders taken in other countries than it is to find interesting images of older adults in America. The photos of older adults widely available in America tend to be terribly stagey and stereotypical. You have the blissed out older couples walking on the beach or bicycling or dancing. Or the other extreme, an older person in a wheelchair being tended to by a solicitous caregiver. Should I mention those abysmal images we have to endure on the internet or print of older adults looking completely foolish and laughable? Those pictures are totally ageist! Take my word for it, it's slim pickings in terms of artistic images that show the range of experience of older adults, depicting real people in the midst of their real lives.

I searched and searched but I never could find a suitable image for the cover of our A New Wrinkle promo CD. So the other day I hired photographer Helga Motley to take some great photos of an about to be 85-year old elder woman named Jonnie Zheutlin. I'll share a couple of those images in my next blog post. I know, promises promises... I will. Promise. We should be finishing up with the recording for A New Wrinkle's promo CD soon, too. Dave and Laura both took off-- for Hawaii and Europe respectively-- but they are headed back home soon. It will be wonderful to complete that project. Why does everything take so darned long? For a variety of reasons, it seems.

There's actually a lot going on here in the midst of the packing because I am working on developing a fall-winter program for Sage's Play that will include a series of salons and workshops. That is going to be a lot of fun.

Meanwhile, the trees shine green in the sun and the pool at the hot springs beckons me. It is utterly beautiful here.

Some News from Here and Now

2011-06-27T04:35:00.000-07:00

My friend Elizabeth has fallen in love at 83 with a man she has known for many years. She's on her way to spend a month with her beloved. In other words, who knows what will happen next in this life? When I visited Elizabeth before she left on her journey, I had to take a picture of her rug, which she found in Greece. I think it's very beautiful.

Here's a view of the cloud of love-in-a-mist and California poppies in bloom in Elizabeth's garden, so blue and golden next to the red shed.

I love this pink iris. One of many many fabulous irises to be seen yesterday at Indigo Ray's annual iris viewing party in the Colestine Valley. As usual, it was a gathering of old friends from the valley and folks from town, great food, music, swimming, catching up, iris gazing and marveling at what Indigo has created on her land. She told me two years ago, "This place is too much for one old lady," and on a strictly realistic level that would seem to be true.

But Indigo doesn't really operate in the world of strict realism, as her art and gardens and homemade raspberry wine show. She occupies herself creating another kind of reality, communing with nature spirits and the muses of creative life. Time always slows down in Indigo's garden.

Her house has bright colored walls and is full of her paintings and embroideries.

She has created wonderful tableaus in the garden.

Look at this beauty. What a healing place. I am going back there to visit again very soon.

The Benefits of Aging Naturally

2011-06-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

The other day Dominique Browning's article The Case for Laugh Lines appeared in the New York Times, eliciting a variety of responses from readers. Browning's article, which is a real delight to read, focuses on the cosmetic surgery fetish, the fight people put up about aging, the surgery they choose as a weapon and the frozen and sometimes tragic faces that result.

In her article, Browning suggests we have gone to far in our attempts to deny the imprint of time on our faces and bodies. As the model Daphne Self noted in my last blog here, cosmetic surgery does not stop us from aging. I tried to post a comment to Browning's article and included some lines from Passing for Young, one of the songs in my musical revue, but the comment never was posted. I must have transgressed some New York Times posting rule, but I do not know what it was. This is part of what I was trying to share from the song.

Once upon a time not so very long ago
Blacks they passed for white and
Gays they passed for straight
And speaking in the latest tongue
Ringing all bells that can be rung
I’m going to pass for young.
What, is it wrong? No way!

70’s the new 50
60’s the new 40
50’s the new 30
Turn back the clocks!
Botox! Restylane!
Body shaping liposuction
A little nip, a little tuck, a little surgery
And you’ll evade time’s tyranny.

Look at my face
Does it sag or does it flap?
If wrinkles give me character
I say, erase, erase!
I don’t want to look like Rumplestiltskin
Even if it rhymes with Paris Hilton!
I’m going to pass for young because
70’s the new 50
60’s the new 40
50’s the new 30
Botox Restylane
Body shaping fat reduction
You can have a little liposuction
Turn back the clocks!

The two happy people in the photo above haven't had any work done. They are just aging naturally. When I get too myopic about the peculiar views of our culture, I like to remind myself that most people on the planet are aging naturally. They are not getting cosmetic surgery. Their issues about aging are quite different from those of the frozen face persuasion. Organizations like HelpAge which focuses on age discrimination and poverty and Global Aging which focuses on human rights for older people are two of the organizations that address some of the issues that affect many older adults on the planet.

Here we are, fortunate beings who are growing old in places that are relatively affluent and peaceful, compared to many places on earth. We have the opportunity and freedom to use these later years for personal and spiritual growth, community engagement, social change and creative expression. It's a shame to waste that freedom by constricting the potential for these years to an obsession with passing for young.

Accepting aging as a natural part of life is life-affirming. Aging naturally has the potential to increase our contentment and positive self image. I'm not trying to talk you out of a face lift or coloring your hair. Those are not my choices but I'm not intent on limiting your choices. I'm just suggesting that outer appearances are only one aspect of human life. I'm suggesting that the wrinkles are just fine and that we appreciate the real richness that presents itself in later life and make good use of it with a fair amount of joy and gusto.

I decided a couple of months ago to drop some weight. One of my old friends emailed me awhile back and told me that he had decided that he'd rather be a skinny old guy than a fat one. I kept thinking about that comment and decided I agreed. I don't want to be skinny but thinner. I have lost about 10 pounds so far by eating less and eating fewer carbohydrates. I am enjoying the process and it feels good to be getting lighter. I've noticed when I look in the mirror that my face is finally acquiring more wrinkles, especially when I laugh or smile, which I like to do often. All I've done is live 70 years, which is saying plenty.

What are your attitudes toward aging naturally? Would love to hear about them.

Artist's Life update: just sent in my application to Oregon Literary Fellowship. It would of course be wonderful to receive a grant from them. I'm enjoying working on three projects--my musical revue A New Wrinkle, for which we are creating a promo CD, my book Songs of the Inner Life, and a new book project on inspiring elders. These will keep me busy for at least 2 years. What are you working on?

And the sun is finally out today!

The Ravages of Time: Taking Things at Face Value

2011-05-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

When my daughter Sophia and I got together for brunch to celebrate my 70th birthday, she gave me a birthday card which bore this image of an old native American woman.
"Isn't she beautiful?" Sophia asked as I gazed at the photo. "Yes, she is," I replied. I certainly am very glad I have a daughter who has a capacity not only to see beauty in a diverse way but also to appreciate the beauty of the aged. The beauty of the woman in the photo has much to do with her innate dignity, her character and the life she lived, which from the looks of her eyes, had its share of sorrow. Her face is not what most people would call beautiful, affected as many of us are by commercialized, homogenized ideas of beauty. Her beauty points up the ravages of time, how life imprints itself on us, on our faces and bodies. It invites an exploration of what's more than skin deep. The photo was taken by Milton Rogovin,well-known as a social documentary photographer.
Rogovin passed away in January 2011 at 101 years of age. He took wonderful photos of minorities and poor, overlooked people--including native Americans, Mexicans, Chileans, working class people in Buffalo, NY, miners in Appalachia, Scotland and France--and more. His work over decades illuminates social issues and the common struggle of the working poor. Beautiful work. Well worth contemplating.

I posted this photo of the beautiful 82-year old British model Daphne Selfe on Facebook the other day. Selfe is in high demand these days. Her career was so-so until she hit her 70s. Then she appeared in Red or Dead, a show put on by London Fashion Week, and it's been uphill for her career ever since. She claims her long grey hair is the secret behind it, but I think her cheekbones and eyes and lithe body are doing their share, too. Selfe does yoga to keep fit, eats large amounts of fruits, vegetables and fish, drinks plenty of water and says she doesn’t feel a day over 60. She has never had cosmetic surgery.

"Your face is your history," she commented. "If you have a few lines, it's your life that you've lived, and people should embrace that. Some [models] want to alter themselves and I hear talk about getting all this wretched cosmetic surgery done, but I don't want to do that myself as it costs too much, it might go wrong and what's the point? It won't stop you from getting old."

I celebrate her beauty, health and her late-life success. Of course, though each of us has unique, innate beauty, few of us were ever as "classically" beautiful as the lovely Daphne Selfe. The rest of us, women and men both, are challenged to come to terms with the ravages of time on our less than super-model faces and bodies. Older women are especially ridiculed, and older men have to bear the brunt of a great deal of scorn, too. Let's do what we can to expect and create a more generous definition of beauty, including the beauty of the aged. Please don't internalize these toxic prejudices about age being ugly. It's not good for the health of the body or soul.

Our culture applauds "active aging." Sometimes this lifestyle seems so hyped up I call it hyper-active aging. It's trendy to spotlight elders who are doing extraordinary work in their later lives, ignoring everyone else who don't fit these high-visibility standards. The overall presumption is--how amazing that these older people are still able to do this or that.

In this Sage's Play blog, I also spotlight exceptional elders, in the spirit of sharing wonderful models of aging. Do I sometimes seem like a cheerleader who focuses only on the positive aspects of aging and the creative, artistic, social and scientific accomplishments of elders, without ever stopping to mention the obvious?

The obvious is that our bodies are aging. We are mortal; we will die at some point. As Rain pointed out in a recent exchange of comments on this blog, we have to do the best with what we have. That's true at any time of life, and it is more obvious as we age. We have to pay more attention to diet, exercise and rest. We have to shepherd our energies each day. We may have to deal with illness or pain or loss. Age involves a fair amount of loss. On that level, growing old is not for sissies. There is a lot of demanding emotional and spiritual work that is part of the aging process. And it is all practice for "laying down one's mantle" as they say in gospel songs.

I've been a Buddhist for over 30 years, and my spiritual practice has included contemplating old age, sickness and death. Not popular subjects for many in our culture. To me, they seem like essential topics, especially as one ages.

Age is a time of life for going deeper, for stripping away, for letting go, for loving even more than ever, for sharing the bounty of what we've learned, for leaving a legacy. It's a profound territory, and it demands courage, creativity and trust. Solitude. Slowness. In the midst of my creative work, I make time for meditation, exercise, prayer rest and just doing-nothing. Here's to the blessing of living long. As Rain points out it is a mixed blessing. It's not all a bed of roses. Parts of aging are full of tribulation. And it's up to us to meet life open-hearted, to work our soul alchemy with whatever arises.

Wildflowers, creativity and wild wise elders

2011-05-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

The wildflowers are in bloom here, even though it has been a remarkably chilly, wet spring. I found these beautiful blue flowers on a walk up in the watershed above Ashland about a week ago. Now if it would just warm up enough to make a visit to the swimming pool at the hot springs seem feasible....

The promo CD for our musical revue A New Wrinkle has been engaging us at Dave Scoggin's recording studio. With no musical education or training, I am out of my element. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying the whole experience as Laura Rich and Dave work together on creating the right sounds and feeling. Dave is using a synthesizer to create most of the instruments. We're bringing in a live violinist though, because even though a synthesizer can do a lot of wonderful things, it just can't reproduce the sound of a violin well at all. We will add the voices last. It's exciting that this project is progressing. Even though I wish it were done yesterday or even 6 months ago. My mother always used to tell me that patience is a virtue.

I gave a talk titled "Let's Re-Imagine Aging" at the Ashland Library yesterday, which was a rainy, chilly Sunday. I discussed our society's toxic stereotypes about aging, noting that ageism affects older adults both physically and psychologically. With so many demeaning and scornful images and stereotypes proliferating, some older adults appear to become apologetic as a way of life. Some in my audience yesterday seemed shocked when I compared this to the kind of shuffling apologetic behavior that characterized stereotyped portrayals of "blackies." Any type of prejudice results in its subjects developing feelings of inferiority. People internalize the prejudice, often unconsciously. Caricatures start to have a life of their own.

I can get pretty passionate about why ageism needs to be eradicated. It is such a blight on all of us, not just older people. And it keeps older adults from fulfilling their potential, holding them back on many levels.

Of course, I also spoke about age as a valuable stage of human development, discussed current research about the mature mind, the relationship between creativity and well-being, and the opportunity to continue to learn and grow and deepen as we age. The conversation after the talk was enthusiastic and ranged over a wide variety of topics. Older adults just do not have a lot of opportunity to talk together in this way. It was a very interesting couple of hours. I hope I did inspire and provoke some positive change. Afterwards, I had some tea with someone I've known for many years, though we have never spent any time together. It made me happy to hear about her life and get to know her a little better.

I read a wonderful article the other day in the New York Times about Bel Kaufman, author of Up the Down Staircase, a novel about the challenges and joys of teaching in New York City; the book remained on the New York Times bestseller list for 64 weeks. Ms. Kaufman, now 100, is an adjunct professor. She just taught a course at Hunter College on Jewish humor, which may be in her blood, since she is the granddaughter of the great Yiddish storyteller Sholem Aleichem. She likes dancing the mambo and the tango, and she seems to be surprised that people make such a fuss about her age, though she does acknowledge that she survived a lot.

Since I began writing this blog, I have featured a variety of wonderful elders, including dancer Anne Halprin, explorer Anthony Smith, yoga teacher Tao Porchon-Lynch, sculptor Vollis Simpson, poet Maya Angelou and track star Olga Kotelko, among others. All of them are at least 70 and some over 90. What do they have in common? Each of them is inspired. They have a sense of purpose. They are passionate, whether it is about writing poetry, dancing, sailing across the Atlantic on a raft, teaching, or making immense sculptures out of welded metal. (If you want to catch up on reading about these wonderful folks, check out past entries of this blog.)

My artist friend Betsy was telling me the other day that she thought I should write a blog about chaos. But today is not going to be the day for it. Sorry Betsy. Even though tomorrow is a full moon.

I do agree with Steve Martin when he says,

"Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is."

I like what Bob Dylan said, too.

"I accept chaos, I'm not sure whether it accepts me."

Happy full moon!

Elders in denial, passing for young...and meanwhile spring has come!

2011-05-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

I've been enjoying my recent talks with chiropractor John Kalb who is about to publish a new book titled "Winning at Aging" next month. I will review the book when it is published. John is a wonderful man who has been part of the New Warrior community for years. It makes me very glad to know that men have the opportunity to participate in this kind of training, which is described as a process of modern male initiation and self examination. You can find out more at the ManKind Project.

In our last conversation, John told me that the New Warrior community uses the acronym EID (elder in denial) for men who have not accepted the truth that they have entered the elder phase of life.

Elder in denial. What an apt description. So many older adults continue to try to pass for young. I like to imagine what it would/will be like when most older people in our culture relax into the gathering of years, rather than battling the onset of age as many now do.

What does it mean to be an elder? The word has far more potency than the word senior, which has been tainted with a variety of disempowering connotations. Nice old people. Senior discounts. Senior programs. Senior housing. Keep the seniors in the box.

But elders are out of that box. To become a real elder is to assume a role of natural authority in one's community, a role that includes mentoring, teaching, visioning and leaving a meaningful legacy. An elder not only accepts his or her gathering of years, but embraces aging as a powerful part of life's journey.

Where are you placing yourself in that continuum? How are you sharing and visioning and mentoring these days? What kind of legacy are you creating? These are questions I ask myself often.

I'm still learning more lessons from my recent standing room only Sage's Play event, "A Celebration of Aging." There are usually lessons to learn and this was no exception. It was raggedy in ways. Things didn't always hang together. But in spite of that, overall it was uplifting and there were some truly shining moments. I am very happy that so many older people gathered to hear the pro-aging messages that we presented there with previews of some of the songs from A New Wrinkle and in the presentations others shared. The celebration inspired many audience members to look at themselves and the opportunities of aging. Check out the marvelous speech that Dr. Rick Kirschner gave that night at his Art of Change blog.

And as far as I'm concerned, it was a great way to celebrate becoming 70. A real love-in of many dear old friends and some brand new ones, too.

Hey, what about comedienne Betty White? The New York Times just ran a wonderful article on her life and career as an actress. Now in her 80s, she is a wonderful example of why passion, purpose, motivation and mission continues to be important as we age.

Of course, there are as many ways to express purpose, passion, vision, lovingkindness, creativity and motivation as there are humans to embody them. It doesn't always take the form of outer work or display. Some people's elderhood unfolds through quietude, solitary contemplation and stillness. I often feature older adults whose lives and work involves expressive, active engagement and creativity, and I believe it's important to acknowledge the more inward aspects of aging, and the value of stillness, life review and immersion in the inner life.

Meanwhile, spring is springing forth. At last. Ahhh....

P.S.--if you would like to connect with ongoing Sage's Play news and events, please visit our Sage's Play website and sign up for our monthly newsletter. For those of you in the southern Oregon region, I am giving a free talk at the Ashland Library on Sunday May 15th at 2PM. It is titled "Let's Re-Imagine Aging" and it will include a discussion after the talk.

A Celebration of Aging

2011-04-27T05:26:00.000-07:00

A Celebration of Aging, the event I produced on April 23rd, attracted a full house, with standing room only! Of course, that is a cause for celebration. Dr. Rick Kirschner, a bestselling author, speaker and coach, shared some of his insights on the value of aging and positive expressions of aging. His presentation was completely enjoyable-- full of humor and inspiration. Rick is posting a sequence of videos that present his excellent talk on his Art of Change blog. Check in with his continuing comments and reflections on aging over the next week. He makes some great points and tells the story in a very engaging way. Don't miss it.

The audience loved Carolyn Myers' marvelous improv comedy and the beautiful aria from Tosca that Pauline Sullivan sang. My composer colleague Laura Rich did a fabulous job singing one of the songs from A New Wrinkle, Passing for Young. She was decked out in a very funny Barbie the doll-type costume. Why didn't I take any pictures of that? I know Laura's husband did, and I will try to get him to send me a couple of them to share with you soon.

I loved singing Baba Yaga's Raga and I wore wonderful dreadlocks for the occasion. Some audience members told me that the two songs sung by the ensemble were not easy to understand or hear. That was something I was saddened to hear. Have to do much better next time. Organizing the event taught me a great deal. I thought I had gotten over trying to be Superwoman, but apparently not. Next time, I need a stage manager and a director. More rehearsals, including in the performance space. But as spontaneous as the event was at times, it was well received.

Now, we are preparing to develop the promo CD. We'll be working in the recording studio of jazz musician Dave Scoggin. Another new adventure. Wonderful!

Yesterday was my 70th birthday. I had a rather reflective day. I wanted to be quiet. I took a drive to the Applegate River and sat for awhile at its banks. I hung out at the beautiful old McKee Bridge which was built in 1917.

I intend to spend more time in nature in my seventh decade. Isn't the river beautiful? The trees are so delicate as they begin to leaf out, and the river waters are flowing vigorously thanks to the winter snow and rain. I'm at the banks of a beautiful river, contemplating the river of my years.

And on the way back home, I listened to one of the six CDs from The Dangerous Old Woman by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, who wrote the seminal book Women Who Run with the Wolves. This current work The Dangerous Old Woman is a project she has been working on for 30 years. And it's very rich. Highly recommended.

I'm resting after putting out a lot of energy. I'm thinking about the dangerous old woman and man, elders who live with wildness and wisdom. I'm musing about poetry, myth, wildness, danger, protection and magic. About this time of life and its lessons and adventures. About beauty. Illness. Death. Life. The usual topics.

And it's spring. Every year the astounding miracle of rebirth. Here it is again.

A New Wrinkle Makes Front Page News! Plus the Healing Power of Poetry

2011-04-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

I was on the phone with a friend this morning when my housemate Louise suddenly appeared with a big grin on her face. What's up? I wondered, immersed in my phone conversation. Then Louise held up a copy of the local paper and pointed to a big picture of composer Laura Rich and I on the front page. Front page! she exclaimed happily. And so it was, a BIG photo and wonderful article about A New Wrinkle and A Celebration of Aging right there on the front page. Pretty darned nice. I am glad for the chance to get some of these ideas about aging out there in my community. Take a look at the article here.

'A New Wrinkle' | DailyTidings.com

This morning before the front page phenomenon entered my reality, I was planning to write something about poetry. It's National Poetry month. I am a lover of poetry. I even love reading what poets have to say about poetry. For example......

Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason.
--Novalis
Poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits.
--Carl Sandburg
Poetry is language at its most distilled and most powerful.
--Rita Dove
Poetry is what gets lost in translation.
--Robert Frost

What are poets for, in such an age?
What is the use of poetry?
The state of the world calls out for poetry to save it.
--Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Poetry is nearer to vital truth than history.
--Plato
There is poetry as soon as we realize that we possess nothing.
--John Cage
Poetry is all that is worth remembering in life.
--William Hazlitt

I cannot imagine life without poetry which has been a treasure in my life from childhood on. I could never choose one poet as a favorite, any more than I could choose one fiction writer. I love the poetry of Alan Ginsburg, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Jane Kenyon, Basho, Lorca, Dylan Thomas, Ellen Bass, Anna Swir, Kabir, Hafiz, Anne Waldman, Maya Angelou, Billy Collins, W.B. Yeats, W.H. Auden, Emily Dickinson.

How about this 3-year old's rendition of Billy Collin's poem Litany? I find it quite wonderful. May your days and nights display their innate poetry in patterns and cadences that restore and invigorate you.

Following one's bliss

2011-04-08T06:53:00.000-07:00

" What is it that makes you happy?  Stay with it, no matter what people tell you.  This is what I call 'Following Your Bliss.'If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you.  

And the life that you ought to be living  is the one you ARE living.  Wherever you are, if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment  that lives within you, all the time. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss,  and they open doors for you.  I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open  where you didn't know they were going to be."
--Joseph Campbell

I spent 4 days recently in group meditation practice at Tashi Choling. It makes me very happy to be there. It is splendid and profoundly meaningful to me. It opens the door to a mythic resonance and brings me back to the vastness, radiance and wisdom that permeate everything. I had the good fortune to help start Tashi Choling over 30 years ago. That place and spiritual community are such a blessing in my life. In terms of following my bliss I put it up there at the top of my list.

News flash--It took decades but I finally realized what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a deeply positive force and influence, someone who is truly selfless and vastly loving. What chance is there of that in this lifetime? I am laughing a little here. I have a way to go. As anyone who knows me can attest. But that is my pervasive goal and I am at work/play on it every day.

Of course I have other goals and dreams that are apparently more mundane. But it is all interwoven. I remember decades during this life when I wouldn't even ask myself the question "What makes me happy?" because I didn't believe the possibility of creating happiness, of manifesting one's dreams, of following one's bliss. So I have done some work on that over the years. Hallelujah!

Writing this blog makes me happy, though I do wonder who in the world reads it since readers so seldom talk back to me. Who are you anyway? Say something will you please? That would be so nice.

Right now, I am highly engaged in producing A Celebration of Aging on April 23rd, where we will preview some of the songs in my musical revue A New Wrinkle. I love producing events. This one will be quite wonderful. I can feel it. Save the date if you are in the Rogue Valley Oregon area. In order to produce the event, I have to call together and work with a fine group of people. This is such a rich process. I love knowing that you can ask for help and get it. People want to do things together. They support this particular work I am engaged in to catalyze positive change in our society's views on aging.

It makes me happy to be nonlinear and right brain and to trust in my path. It makes me happy to share news of other people's adventures and challenges, like these two stories below I will share with you today.

News on the An-Tiki Voyage
Anthony Smith, the 85-year old captain of An-Tiki and his crew of three men between 56 and 71 successfully completed their 2,800 journey across the Atlantic on April 7th when they reached St. Maartens on their raft made of pipes after 66 days at sea. The expedition was intended to raise awareness about lack of clean water on the planet and to raise money for WaterAid. Read more about it here. The An-Tiki voyage--yet another example of late-life adventure and altruism.

I liked this story from the Guardian about a 91-year old man who took up bodybuilding when he was 85. Charles Eugster told reporters, 'I'm not chasing youthfulness. I'm chasing health...At 85 I had a crisis. I looked at myself in the mirror, and saw an old man. I was overweight, my posture was terrible and there was skin hanging off me. I looked like a wreck.' So he decided to do something about it and that's where his dream led him.

Do you find these stories inspiring? I sure do.

Every moment is fresh. We have the potential to discover or acknowledge what makes us happy and to engage in life in ways that are powerful, restorative and beautiful. It doesn't matter what size the gestures are, whether they are outer or inner. Each of us knows what is best for us when we allow ourselves to drop down into our heart's desire.

What makes you happy? How do you follow your bliss?

On the Path

2011-03-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

I have been reading some wonderful blogs lately by women in their 50s, and that's led me to reflect upon my own experience in the decades between 50-70. A lot of seasoning occurred during that time, at least in my experience. I lived through a very unpleasant divorce at 56 and once the shock of that explosion began to fade in my psyche I dug out from under the sand and began to discover myself in a completely fresh way. Living alone, I had no one else to care for. I've had a long, slow chance to look deeply into the still pool of my soul and consider what is most valuable and important to me. What a blessing.

I'm much more relaxed about being myself than I was when I was in my 50s. I've developed a gentle kind of internal authority. It happened somewhere in the mid 60s. I'm certain that this is part of what is meant when we speak about maturing. I know much more about the gifts I have to share and how I want to share them. Also a blessing.

Reading Susan Piver's beautiful blog on the value of sadness the other day, I reflected upon how little I write about my Buddhist practice in this blog, though it thoroughly saturates my life. I have been a Buddhist since 1973 and have had many wonderful adventures of and teachings from Tibetan masters. I cannot imagine what my life would have been without these extraordinary meetings and my commitment to spiritual inquiry and deeper self understanding. Fortunately, I don't have to imagine that. Hallelujah! Living in such a secular society, doused as it is with fundamentalist religion, I feel protective about my spiritual life. It's so close to my heart. I will say this: my spiritual practice and the perspective it affords gives me courage in the midst of the wild waves of this era.

We had the first rehearsal of some songs from A New Wrinkle the other day, in preparation for A Celebration of Aging on April 23rd. It was great--4 wonderful singers and a wonderful pianist. Two more rehearsals to go. It's pretty exhilarating to be putting on this event, bringing together the performers and crew and magnetizing the audience. Lots of learning, new people, challenges and surprises. I'm also sending a proposal to Oregon Humanities, suggesting aging as a Conversation Project topic.

And I find myself longing to spend at least a little time immersing myself back into the writing of Songs of the Inner Life, a book project that nourishes me deeply, and that I want to finish and bring forth.

Meanwhile, I continue to notice what is being said in the culture about aging. Here's an interesting article from the New York Times about baby boomers who never had children, and their concerns about who will care for them in their old age.

And here is a link to a film that is being aired on some public television stations about various folks in their 90s. Now that gives me pause. If so much growth happens between 50-70, then what is it like from 70-90? Check out the trailer for the movie that is part of this link.

Oh and a recent article from the New York Times reported about Stephane Hessel, a hero of the French Resistence. At 93, he is the author of a best seller that has become a publishing phenomenon in France. As the Times reports, "It is not the story of his life (he wrote his autobiography years ago), but a thin, impressionistic pamphlet called “Indignez-Vous!,” held together by two staples and released by a two-person publishing house run out of the attic of their home. It urges young people to revive the ideal of resistance to the Nazis by peacefully resisting the “international dictatorship of the financial markets” and defending the “values of modern democracy.” Since its publication in October, the pamphlet has sold over 1.5 million copies.

I checked the blog of the An-Tiki voyage, led by 84 year old captain Anthony Smith. They're still rafting across the Atlantic. I like following their progress.

I like the way that sages play.

Artist's Life: The Production Details

2011-03-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

Isn't the front of this postcard gorgeous? I'm so pleased with it. It describes the event I am producing on April 23rd at the Ashland Community Center to preview some of the songs in A New Wrinkle and to spotlight the subject of aging in life-affirming ways.

The program will include:
• An ensemble of singers with songs from A New Wrinkle
• Bestselling author, speaker and coach Dr. Rick Kirschner
• Improvisational comedy with Hamazon Carolyn Myers
• The gorgeous operatic voice of Pauline Sullivan
• Poetry, insights on aging, surprise guests!
Tickets $10 Available at Soundpeace and at the door

Robert Frost is the graphic designer for the card. I love his work and have worked with him for about 10 years on various projects. Check out his website to see more of his particular genius.

The postcard is one detail in my current event's production. And it's a very important detail. I will use the postcard for publicity and will send it to individuals who fund the arts, in the hope of attracting them to my project.

I discovered years ago that I love producing events. It always begins in imagination--visualizing and sensing the energies and talents of various people and how they might combine to create a moving experience--to me, that exercise and bringing it forth into reality is really fun. I feel confident I've putting together a great menu for this event, and that the result will be a delicious feast, a celebration of aging, creativity and community. I've wanted to produce an elderfest for 2 years now, and this event is my first step in that direction.

In order to preview some of the songs in A New Wrinkle, I had to find a pianist and 5 singers. Two weeks of challenge, frustration, including those inevitable moments of wish I never started this. That is usually part of producing anything, as you probably have noticed. Thank goodness my collaborator, the composer Laura Rich helped me with locating possible singers. Now the ensemble has appeared and we will be working with Jennifer Schloming, one of the top pianists in the area. Our first rehearsal is this Wednesday. Yes, it's pretty exciting. One of the singers performed on Broadway, another is a nurse, another a weaver. I am looking forward to our work together. After the April 23rd event, we will record 4 of the songs for a promo CD!

Who can I get to help with set-up and clean-up? What about a tech person for the PA system? How about someone for the door? What can I do to get the word out into the community, in addition to the regular news and internet channels? What about costumes? And so it goes. One month from now, it will come to fruition.

This event is a birthday present I am giving myself. When I first began thinking of my 70th birthday, I imagined taking a month off to travel, but the timing was off. One's creative projects have a life of their own. So here I am producing this event. Even though I am the orchestrator, I know that the event itself goes far beyond that organizing. It will contain wonderful surprises, new insights and opportunities for me and everyone who attends. I can see the faces of the audience as they listen to the songs and take in the other beautiful offerings everyone is making. Sage's Play in action. It is perfect, really. I feel happy. I feel happy.

Some thoughts while sailing toward 70

2011-03-12T15:13:00.000-08:00

I'll be 70 next month, an age I never imagined becoming. Yet now it appears on my horizon. Of course, I'm happy to live to see 70 and to be healthy, creative and energized in the bargain. With people living to 90 and 100, 70 seems not that old (except to people 30 and below) yet it is old enough for me to know that I have entered the final movements of the music that is my life. As I have said before, the certainty that we are mortal puts a keen edge on the passions and dreams of those over 50.

I feel very blessed these days by the love and support of many people. Nothing ever gets done in this world except through responsive relationships with others, through collaboration, cooperation and friendship. I contemplate that often these days. I am deeply appreciative when people support my work, whether they do it financially, emotionally or physically (or all three--truly a bonus). Their support, the fact that they believe in me, inspires me and increases my momentum.

I've recently received $1,800 from individual philanthropists, including one donation of $1,000 and one for $500. My total fundraising goal is $15,000, so it may seem that $1,800 is not much. But it is much. It is vital. It is allowing me to take the next step with A New Wrinkle, my musical revue on aging. Right now I'm planning a fundraising event for April 23rd and in May I will work with the same group of singers who are so generously contributing their talents at the fundraising event to record three of the songs in the revue for a promo CD. The promo CD will be very helpful for further fundraising and broader media contact. It will allow me to give possible producers a taste of what's in the revue, too.

I really enjoy producing events especially when they include a variety of people and experiences, which this upcoming event will. (More details on the program specifics to come soon!) The event also marks my 70th birthday, give or take a few days. So it's wonderful on various levels. It will take place at the Ashland Community Center, a simple, old-fashioned hall that holds plenty of memories from the more than 30 years I've lived here in this artsy town.

Incidentally, the best way to learn more about upcoming Sage's Play events is to sign up for my newsletter. The link is on the Sage's Play website.

While I have been immersed in my own creative tumult and dance, events in the world continue to provide profound counterpoint. Like the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, with its massive destruction, including damage to two nuclear reactors. "Radioactive Danger Is Hard to Assess," says a headline in the New York Times today. There are people who assume the best about nuclear energy, genetically engineered foods and global warming, but I am not among them. Radioactivity is not healthy. And it's definitely on everyone's minds.

My friend Elaine posted some remedies for radiation exposure on Facebook: "Salt baths, carotenoids (found in dark green, red, orange food, and yellow fruits and vegetables such as sweet potatoes, apricots, tomatoes, beets, carrots, kale, collards, chard, and spinach) these significantly reduce chromosomal damage in humans exposed to radiation. Seaweed has been shown to neutralize radioactive isotopes in the human body. The algin in brown seaweeds, for instance, binds to radioactive strontium to create a harmless and easily excreted compound. Black and green tea, reishii (a mushroom), beans, lentils, and garlic have also credited by numerous studies with reducing the harmful effects of radiation."

We are thinking about the people in Japan and praying for their welfare.

When I contemplate the various forms of devastation going on on the planet, I am very aware of how fragile and small we hubris-afflicted humans are compared to the immense forces of nature. My friend Elaine also posted a link on Facebook the other day to Aluna a movie made by and with the Kogi, a remote civilization living high in the Sierra Nevada in Columbia. The BBC made a movie of the Kogi in 1990 titled The Heart of the World. Then and now the Kogi are urging us to change while there is still time. This clip from the film Aluna really moved me. I usually don't write about environmental matters on this blog, but that will probably change. Creative aging takes many forms. Elders have a responsibility to protect and guide. It's up to each of us to contribute to the greater good in our own ways. We all want to safeguard the Earth for our descendants. That is a highly creative act.

Thinking about these things made me remember two poems about Icarus, who fell from the sky after he flew too close to the sun and his wings melted. Our culture and way of life reminds me of Icarus these days. One poem is by W.H. Auden and the other by William Carlos Williams. Here's a link to the Auden poem. MUSEE DES BEAUX ARTS

It's warming up. The daffodils have begun to bloom here. The violets, the crocuses. Tree buds are swelling. The hills are growing green again. Sending you warm greetings wherever you may be on this beautiful Earth.

A different kind of role for actor Mickey Rooney

2011-03-06T09:59:00.000-08:00

Legendary actor Mickey Rooney, now 90 years old, made news last week when he testified before the Senate Special Committee on Aging that he is a victim of elder abuse.

Rooney's emotional testimony put the issue of elder abuse on the national stage in a heartrending way. "For years I suffered silently. I didn't want to tell anybody. I couldn't muster the courage, and you have to have courage," Rooney said. "I needed help and I knew I needed it. Even when I tried to speak up, I was told to shut up and be quiet."

He told the committee, "My money was stolen from me, by someone close. My money was taken and misused. When I asked for information, I was told that I couldn't have any of my own information. I was literally left powerless." An April 5th court hearing will investigate charges Rooney is bringing against his stepson. The court filing claims that the stepson withheld food and medicine, acted intimidating and verbally abusive, and abused Rooney financially.

Rooney continued, "When a man feels helpless, it is terrible. And I was helpless," he said. "If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone."

I am very glad that this venerable, vulnerable screen icon had the courage to testify as he did. As he pointed out in his testimony, he was afraid to speak up, and suffered silently for years. I hope that his testimony brings some positive change for the elders that continue to suffer abuse silently from family, friends and caregivers. Regular readers of this blog know that I enjoy highlighting the artistic, athletic and civic achievements of elders. To me, Rooney's testimony constitutes a brave achievement.

Elder abuse is a very virulent form of ageism. According to the American Psychological Association, an estimated 2.1 million older Americans annually become victims to physical, psychological, sexual, financial, or other forms of abuse and neglect. Ageism and elder abuse--they've got to go!

Late life adventures: high jumping at 91, crossing the Atlantic in a raft at 85!

2011-02-26T07:18:00.000-08:00

I recently discovered that there's a team of sailors crossing the Atlantic in a raft. Aboriginal peoples probably crossed the Atlantic on rafts many thousands of years ago. That's part of the allure of it. It's a primal journey across a vast ocean in a small craft. In 1947, Thor Heyerdahl led the Kon-Tiki expedition which was inspired by reports and drawings of Inca rafts made by the Spanish Conquistadors, and by native legends and archaeological evidence suggesting contact between South America and Polynesia. Heyerdahl built a replica of an aboriginal balsa raft. He and five companions left Callio, Peru and crossed 4,300 miles in 101 days, reaching Polynesia. His journey showed that the ancient Peruvians could have reached Polynesia using rafts.

In 1997-98 a colorful permanent dropout/adventurer named Poppa Neutrino sailed a raft named Son of Town Hall from North America to Europe, becoming the second modern person to sail a raft across the Atlantic. His raft was made entirely of recycled materials.

The current expedition is sailing on a raft they've named An-Tiki. Their captain is 85-year old Anthony Smith, a British author and explorer who wrote the best-selling book The Human Body. The An-Tiki team is devoted to raising awareness about the lack of clean water for many peoples on the planet. The expedition is raising money for WaterAid, a charity that works to improve clean water conditions in 26 countries in Africa, Asia and the Pacific region. According to WaterAid, "Mr Smith and his three-man crew of 'mature and intrepid gentlemen', aged from 56 to 84 years old, will use only the ocean currents and a sail to make the 2,800 mile voyage from the Canary Islands to the Bahamas."

The raft is constructed of blue polyethylene water pipes. The 4 main pipes are each approximately 39 feet long, and the raft measures 20 feet wide. You can read more about the voyage, see photos, follow their progress across the Atlantic and read blog posts from the team at their website

If crossing the pond on a raft doesn't do it for you, what about high jumping at 91?

I discovered Olga Kotelko, a 91-year old track star late last year in an article in NY Times As the Times article notes, "Masters competitions usually begin at 35 years, and include many in their 60s, 70s and 80s (and a few, like Kotelko, in their 90s, and one or two over 100). Of the thousands who descended on Lahti, hundreds were older than 75. And the one getting all the attention was Kotelko. She is considered one of the world’s greatest athletes, holding 23 world records, 17 in her current age category, 90 to 95." By studying Kotelko and other old athletes, researchers hope to understand more about longevity, health and physical capability.

These stories of late-life prowess are inspiring to me. There are certainly days I wish that someone would offer me a place on a cross-Atlantic adventure. I imagine that it would be very healing and invigorating to live on a raft in the midst of the weather, with the immensity of the ocean and sky filling the entire landscape. Since I have no sailing experience, there's not much likelihood of that.

I admire the mastery of Olga Kotelko and other late-life athletes. We will be seeing more and more of them, I suspect. And that's all to the good.

What are your ideas about late life adventure? Do they focus on travel to other lands or learning something completely new right where you are? I'm with Oprah when she says,"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams."

Sexually Vital and Juicy at any Age

2011-02-21T06:56:00.000-08:00

There's an unfortunate stereotype in our culture about older adults and sex. Popular belief has it that as people grow old they entirely lose their interest in sexual intimacy. This is simply not true. Nobody's done any studies about it, because it's not a hot topic (ha ha) for pollsters. Not yet anyway. With millions of people aging, that could change. And I hope it does.

Our culture is highly sexualized. Yet sexuality is not a topic that is easy or natural. Sexuality is highly visible in the media and on the street, but there's still a lot of shame involved for many of us. The topic of sexuality in the later years is even more charged and uncomfortable. Because of prevailing notions about aging, people get upset when they imagine older people as sexual beings.

When I learned that my medical doctor Howie Morningstar and his wife Sue Mauer Morningstar, a nurse practitioner and also a rabbi, were going to give a talk titled "Sexually Vital and Juicy at Any Age" at our wonderful Ashland Food Coop, I knew I wanted to hear what they had to say. Howie and Sue work together at Morningstar Healing Arts, a healing environment filled with color, beautiful art and vibrant plants.

Howie and Sue have known each other since they were 4 years old! Think of it! I often do. They have known each other their whole lives and they have been married for a long time. I was interested in what they had to say at their talk "Sexually Vital and Juicy at any Age" because it seemed to me that they would bring a unique perspective from their many decades of connection and partnership, and from the adventures of their individual life journeys. Nobody is typical and that is certainly true of Howie and Sue. Sue has been a nurse-practitioner for many years. She recently became a rabbi, which has given her another avenue to share her gifts. Sue has been in a wheelchair for many years. A more uplifted, loving, inspiring person would be hard to find. Howie describes himself as a Jewish pagan. He loves dancing, drumming and fire circles. A recent Phoenix Fire brochure gave this as part of his bio. "...loves playing with fire and has been creating magic, mayhem and sacred altars--for a long time!" In 2010 Howie trained as a certified tantric educator.

The talk drew a large audience, composed mainly of older couples with a fair sprinkling of single folks. Most of the audience was well over 50, and many of them knew Howie and Sue already as either patients or friends. The atmosphere was warm and relaxed. Howie and Sue's talk went right to the heart and soul of intimacy. They discussed the healing and heightening powers of sex, describing shared pleasure and ecstasy as a way of connecting with the divine and with the partner as an emanation of the divine, a god or goddess. They talked about the chakras and kundalini energy flow, ejaculatory choice, prolonged orgasmic states and the importance of masculine and feminine polarities. They spoke about why it is important that the woman climax first, and recommended the book She Comes First. They talked about how important it is to make time to be with each other without other concerns or activities interfering, and pointed out that the intention of these special times was not necessarily to focus on making love physically, but on reconnecting with each other's souls. Sue spoke about Jewish texts that refer to the mystical importance of sharing pleasure. I found this link to the subject that I found fascinating.Jewish mystical texts Howie and Sue plan to present two more talks on the subject of sexuality and wellbeing. I'm looking forward to hearing what they have to say next. Sex, intimacy and the erotic life are topics that continue to magnetize me, and I know that a lot of other older adults are just as interested.

Because I am in a crystal ball kind of mood, I'll make a prediction. I think that late life sexuality will become a hot topic as the age wave crests. Late life sex and love are the topic of one of the songs in A New Wrinkle, my musical revue on aging. The song is titled Sex after Sixty and of course it celebrates the erotic impulse. There are many things one can do with sexual/erotic energy, from making love to creating art to engaging in spiritual practice. No matter how one chooses to engage that powerful erotic energy, channeling it allows one to tap into union with the One, and that is a profound blessing.

Growing Old: The Inner Work

2011-02-12T07:30:00.000-08:00

Fifteen years ago I was 55 and I was drawn to begin some of the inner work of aging. I didn't think of myself as old then. In fact the idea of being old scared me terribly. I knew I was unprepared for it. It occurred to me that I should begin some kind of investigation that might increase my self understanding. So I started an archeological excavation into the beliefs, patterns, conflicts, aspirations and dreams that have formed my memories and my ideas of myself.

I didn't know it then, but I had begun one of the tasks of aging--life review, part of which is seeking the meaning of one's life. The artifacts I've unearthed in my digging have borne quite a bit of scrutiny and reflection over the years. I've traveled through a lot of difficult territories. I'm sure you have your own versions of these places in your heart and soul and you know as well as I do that some rivers can be rather difficult to ford, some shadows hard to face and befriend. I've found that this work has been full of healing; it's led to the softening of long-tied knots, with the help of the waters of empathy, forgiveness and compassion. Life review is a practice that continues to be full of blessings, insight and surrender. I'm a believer.

According to Carl Jung there are 7 tasks of aging:

1. Facing the reality of aging and dying
2. Life review
3. Defining life realistically
4. Letting go of the ego
5. Finding new rooting in the Self
6. Determining the meaning of one’s life
7. Rebirth – dying with life

As you can see, these are serious pieces of earthly business. Letting go of the ego, for instance. Not exactly a Bingo level activity, though I'm sure it could happen playing Bingo, especially if you'd done some prep work.

Defining life realistically--what does this mean to you? I read it as the task of adjusting to the current situation of one's body and mind, which may be different from what it was at 25 or 45. Facing the reality of aging and dying, now that is something much denied in our society where so many people continue to try to pass for young into old age and live in denial that they will ever die.

To me finding new rooting in the Self means going deeper, spending more time in contemplation and reflection. I have to confess that I've never really understood the phrase "dying with life" described in the 7th task. Maybe I am just not old enough yet.

I had a visit with a good friend last summer. She is a keenly intelligent, very spiritual woman who now resides in an assisted living residence because of neurological difficulties. She describes aging as "an exercise in letting go and accepting."

"It's moving into a different state of being," she tells me, "shifting the focus from the outer world, releasing the worldly cuccoon, just unzipping and stepping out. It's very liberating, coming to some level of essence and finding contentment with what is."

My conversations with her remind me that the tasks of later life are quite spiritual in nature. Even if a person continues to be active and engaged in the world, there's a natural turning within as one ages. Unless of course, one remains infatuated with activity as an end in itself which seems to be such an obsession in the modern world. Then one can miss out on the harvest opportunity that the later years provide.

In his book Nature and the Human Soul, Bill Plotkin comments "True adulthood, or psychological maturity, has become an uncommon achievement in Western or Westernized societies, and genuine elderhood nearly nonexistent." Plotkin describes our society as pathologically adolescent, divorced from nature and soul. To Plotkin, real maturity is not based on chronological age; he defines maturity as living in a profound, ecologically aware interconnectedness with nature.

Living a long time is a blessing, and those who live a long life and also enrich the world with their wisdom, patience and balance bring an even deeper blessing. Maturation takes inner work. Inner work requires spending time in reflection, contemplation, healing, meditation and prayer. Quiet time. Slow time. Time in Nature. Which our society, so obsessed with production and materialism, both longs for and disdains.

In her book Slow is Beautiful Cecile Andrews describes how slowing down and living simply encourages community and individual happiness. That sounds and feels just about right to me.

I like to imagine/visualize/feel a society filled with elders who are slow and deep as beautiful old rivers, slow and rooted as beautiful old forests, elders who are deep, loving, firm, wise and fierce when need be. Sending blessings on your head and heart. May your inner and outer works flourish.

A good book is like a mandala of flowers

2011-02-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

I don't read novels often. Memoirs are usually my preference. The urge to read a good novel does come over me once in awhile. It often seems to happen when I am traveling or visiting somewhere else. While I was in Hawaii, I picked up A Simple Habana Melody by Oscar Hijuelos from the bookshelf in my friend's living room. I was enchanted by it from the start, and found myself musing over some of the book's passages several times. That's a sure sign of love for me. Like this passage, which precedes the start of the story.

"Every sea wave was a clanging bell, the wind blowing from the west like a great and sonorous section of one hundred and seven violins, the sun at dusk was a glaring crimson cymbal, and the earth a kettledrum. On the horizon, beyond the water's edge, a choir had gathered--a million choristers in long silk robes singing from the balconies of a palace, hidden in a maze of distantly humming sea mists, and in the waters beneath the currents, a hundred dance halls, and a hundred pianists, and rooms and rooms filled with instruments and musicians at the ready..."

From that I knew that I was in for some heady music, both earthy and metaphysical. Set in Cuba in the 40s the book tells the life story of Israel Levis, a popular Cuban composer, from the vantage point of his later years. It's a marvelous evocation of an era when Latin music suddenly magnetized America and Europe. The main character is complex, a corpulent creative genius whose music has won him wide acclaim in his country and abroad. He is a man devoted to his mother, one who endured a life-long unrequited love because he was afraid to declare himself.

His late-life reflections on his own character, fears, accomplishments and difficulties are quite wonderful. All in all, this is a splendid, lushly written novel. Oscar Hijuelos is best known for his book The Mambo Kings Play Songs of Love, which I have not read. And I probably will not read it for awhile, mainly because I am still enjoying the resonance of A Simple Habana Melody, and re-reading parts of it again.

By the time I was ready to leave Hawaii, I was wondering if I could find a book to read on the plane. Knowing that the books on the living room bookshelf were fair game,I started browsing there. This time I found 13 Moons by Charles Frazier who is best known for his novel Cold Mountain. The book's first lines grabbed me with their ferocity and resignation. "There is no scatheless rapture. Love and time put me in this condition. I am leaving soon for the Nightland, where all the ghosts of men and animals yearn to travel. We're called to it...It is the last unmapped country..."

I could hardly believe my luck in finding a second great book right after finishing the first. Isn't there something grand about opening up a book at random, reading a few lines and knowing from the depth of the writing that yes, this book is going to be well worth reading.

13 Moons and A Simple Habana Melody are very different from each other, almost like yang and yin, one set in the tropics, the other set in the wilds of the American West. 13 Moons brings the world of Indian Country, the politics, lifestyle and natural landscape of the old American West vividly to life. The book has an epic scope, in terms of descriptions of nature, history and culture. As protagonist Will Cooper begins to tell his story, we learn that at the age of 12, he being an orphan, he was sent off by his relatives as a "bound boy" to run a remote trading post in Indian Territory. To help him along his way, he was given a horse, a map and a key to the store. Will Cooper's adventures are many. He lives quite a life, becoming a vital part of an Indian clan, acquiring a great deal of land and a fair amount of prestige, and witnessing a lot of changes. He also maintains a life-long love for a woman named Claire. This is a masterful, compelling book, melancholy, provocative and beautiful. I highly recommend these marvelous novels both of which tell their stories from the perspective of old age.

Meanwhile, it is still wintry here, though we have escaped the severe weather that some parts of the country have been enduring. I saw promising signs of spring the other day in a friend's garden where some purple violets were blooming.

New Year, New Moon, New Moment

2011-02-04T03:31:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year--again! Now we've entered the year of the rabbit, according to Chinese astrology. It is predicted to be a more peaceful year--ah may that be so in both the outer and inner worlds. I always feel surfeited with new years because I have 3 of them in my world. To begin with, there's January 1st, then the Chinese New Year, and finally the Tibetan New Year or Losar, which for who knows what reason never coincides with the Chinese New Year. This year, Losar is on March 5th. So I will continue to be in the new year mode for awhile.

It's the middle of the night here, and I woke up thinking about quite a number of things, including two wonderful books I read while I was in Hawaii recently, which I want to write about here. My mind was also full of my fundraising efforts for A New Wrinkle, ideas about costumes, staging and script changes I want to make, and some public events I'd like develop to catalyze support and fundraising. It was obvious I should get up out of bed and here I am. It's a wonderful time to be awake because it's so dark and still everywhere.

During the past 2 weeks, I've been sending out fundraising appeals for A New Wrinkle, my musical revue on aging, which debunks stale ageist stereotypes and promotes a vivid age-positive perspective. I sent out a letter via snail mail, and then had fun adapting it to send out via a program called Mail Chimp, which I really enjoy playing around with. I invite you to take a peek at what I created.

I was delighted to receive a donation of $1,000 from a kind individual philanthropist a few days ago. Then some smaller contributions arrived from other folks who believe in the uplifted vision of aging that A New Wrinkle portrays. I feel encouraged by this support. My current fundraising goal is $15,000 which will cover stage production and filming of A New Wrinkle.

We've made some changes to the Sage's Play website. Now the lyrics for all 12 songs in A New Wrinkle are available there. We also have installed a DONATE button that allows visitors to give a tax-deductible contribution online or learn how to do so by snail mail. Be an angel and take part in the adventure as we create a new vision of aging in our society! Your contribution is most welcome and needed!

(At the website you can also subscribe to receive my newsletters, which usually appear monthly.)

The two books that have so mesmerized me recently are A Simple Habana Melody by Oscar Hijuelos and Thirteen Moons by Charles Frazier. They were books I happened to find on the shelf of the house I was visiting in Honolulu. Both are gorgeously written. I found it interesting that each book described their main character's lives from the perspective of old age. I want to write more about both of these books, but not now, because this night has begun to move into early morning. I think I will take a bit more rest before greeting the day. And tonight, dancing! Tell me, what's new in your life?

What is Creative Aging?

2011-01-28T05:05:00.000-08:00

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure." as Joseph Campbell notes. That's the real key. Saying a hearty yes to the adventure, whether the adventure is surfing out on Mama Ocean into one's 60s or 70s or living an inspired life in the sequestered regions of an assisted living facility as one of my dear friends is doing currently.

Her way of enjoying her environment and experience is a real inspiration. "The universe decided to give me a refuge, a retreat situation," she told me recently. So in her own fashion, with an appreciation and sense of humor about everyone and everything she meets in the assisted living facility, a lively interest in books and ideas and an acknowledgement of her current situation as a valuable learning experience, she is doing some real surfing herself. She is aging artfully, using her life experience creatively. Creative aging means continuing to engage in what gives you pleasure, whether it's surfing, writing, dancing or cooking. It has as much to do with being as it does with doing.

Finding the beauty in each moment. Replenishing, communing with nature. Being at home within oneself. Each step of life's journey is meaningful. Entertaining delight... being really alive...because each of us is an instrument, a channel, a resonant spectrum. The music of life streams through us. Creative aging means giving voice to our inspiration and love. Perhaps someday I'll concoct a real list, but these will do until then.

There is plenty of great news about creative aging. Here are a few recent stories that I found interesting and wanted to share. One is a terrific video clip of the work of dancer Anna Halprin at 85.

NPR recently ran a story on a new book titled Lastingness, which focuses on creativity in the later life of some famous artists including Georgia O'Keefe and William Butler Yeats. And finally, I loved a recent New York Times article on the fascinating life of Poppa Neutrino, a very adventurous, creative fellow, who passed over recently at 77. Neutrino built a raft from scrap and crossed the Atlantic on it! The New York Times obituary describes him as an "itinerant philosopher, adventurer and environmentalist." A New Yorker writer named Alec Wilkinson wrote a book about Neutrino titled "The Happiest Man in the World." Hmmm....I will have to look into this further.

For reasons beyond my ken at this moment, I am having trouble linking to those two items, so will just mention them here. You readers are all industrious souls, so if you want to find them, I'm sure you can do it. Or check out my postings on Facebook.

Wishing you pleasure, meaning and delight in your own unique crafting of the art of aging. Here, I am gearing up to produce and film my musical revue on aging "A New Wrinkle." Please visit my website at www.sagesplay.com to learn more about the revue or to sign up for my newsletter. Bon voyage!

“Every production of an artist should be the expression of an adventure of his soul.” --William Somerset Maugham

Tradewinds and Wayfinding

2011-01-16T09:29:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe that over a month has passed since I wrote a word here. In that time, I did a short good meditation retreat chez moi, traveled to the SF Bay area to attend Tibetan Buddhist empowerments given by the venerable and profound spiritual master Yangthang Rinpoche, hung out in Ashland developing my creative projects and traveled to Oahu for a visit with my longtime friend Shari Sunshine. These photos are from my Hawaii trip. The bright koi in the temple pond at Byodo-In Temple symbolize prosperity, and I wish that for all of us.

We hung out on a beach near Waikiki. This thin, old Hawaiian man really enjoyed himself skillfully out on the water. Shari and I contented ourselves with swimming in the delicious ocean water and sunning ourselves, on days when the sun was out, which seemed to be every other day. I enjoyed the weather, including a dramatic tropical storm with high winds and torrents of rain. The island landscape includes steep mountains that run down its center. There is nothing like the island air, warm and fragrant. We explored some of the towns and villages on the North Shore, famous for its big surfable waves, of which none were apparent when we visited.

The real Hawaii as some people call it is hidden because Only 5% of the population are native Hawaiians. There are many Chinese and Japanese people, as well as Koreans and Filipinos and caucasians. Of course there is a lot of racial mixtures. Hooray! There are Buddhist temples everywhere. We visited two of them, both wonderful in very different ways.

The Japanese Byodo-In Temple at Valley of the Temples Memorial Park is a replica of a temple built in Uji over 900 years ago. It contains a large statue of Amida or Amitabha.

The temple and its gardens are very peaceful, although nobody really seems to go there to spend any time in sitting meditation. Japanese people bow and stand briefly and make incense offerings to the Buddha. Tourists wander. Everyone enjoys ringing the enormous temple bell, taking in the beautiful old architecture and the auspicious big pond with its jeweled koi and black swans.
We visited a delightful art museum whose architecture shows the prevalent Asian influence in Hololulu. This is one of its courtyards. We had some wonderful meals in Chinatown. It was quite a pleasure to eat some good Japanese and Indian food, too. When I returned to Ashland, I realized I would not have that expanse of cuisine choices for awhile.

The Chinese Kuan Yin Temple is located next to Foster Botanical Gardens. In the temple again no real quiet or habit of sitting in meditation was evident. People instead brought beautiful flower and fruit offerings and lit incense, then chattered happily with each other. It was a beautiful place. There are big Kuan Yin shrines all over Honolulu,including in shopping centers, and people stop and make incense offerings as they go about their daily lives. I liked being in a place with a lot of Buddhists though it was odd to be with such constantly active ones. I'm more accustomed to temples where we sit together in stillness.
Of course I took other pictures, too many for this entry. The botanical garden, one of several in Honolulu, was wonderful. It had 24 trees given the designation exceptional because of their size, age, or type. Big beautiful trees, lush and healing.

I met a wonderful guy named Jerry Shapiro. What was wonderful about him? He has had a long happy marriage in which both partners were committed to personal and spiritual growth. (His wife Joan was in Cambodia on a service project of some sort then.) He was a happy and self-aware person. Our two conversations about aging were stimulating and inspiring. I hope I get a chance to hang out with him again one of these days.

All in all it was a wonderful trip, especially because it was a chance to spend so much time with my dear friend Shari. We visited World Medicine Institute, where Shari is studying acupuncture and met with Mike Zanoni, an acupuncturist whose office I shared when he was in Ashland. He showed us the other acupuncture college, where he teaches. Yes, I thought about moving there. I am always thinking about being in a place by the ocean with warmer weather. But Hawaii isn't that place for me.

Now on a gray Sunday in Ashland, I contemplate this new year. I'm thinking about trade winds and wayfinding, both of which have to do more with being than doing. It seems that the term trade winds originally derived from the early fourteenth century late Middle English word 'trade' meaning "path" or "track."Historically, the trade winds have been used by captains of sailing ships to cross the world's oceans for centuries; they enabled European empire expansion into the Americas, and trade routes to become established across the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. It helps to know about the way the wind blows, and as Bob Dylan says, you don't have to be a weatherman to do it.

Wayfinding involves navigating on the open ocean without sextant, compass, clock, radio reports, or satellites reports. The wayfinder depends on observations of the stars, the sun, the ocean swells, and other signs of nature for clues to direction and location. Wayfinding was used for voyaging for thousands of years before the invention of European navigational instruments. In the 20th century, it is still practiced in some areas of Micronesia, although the traditional knowledge and techniques are in danger of being lost because of modernization and Westernization of the cultures of these areas. However, a revival of the art and science of wayfinding is underway among the Pacific islands, a revival led by Nainoa Thompson, the first modern-day Polynesian to learn and use wayfinding for long-distance, open-ocean voyaging.

Beautiful, in my eyes, this kind of wayfinding. Checking the winds and waters. That's what's going on inside this gal as she sails toward 70. In this midst of this wild churning violent Kali Yuga age, in the midst of the extraordinary beauty of this world, sending you greetings. May the way be found and the waters be friendly. If there are difficult passages, may there be strength (and even delight) to meet them. Every day is a fresh awakening, every moment a new vista.

What are your adventures like these days?

Year End Round Up

2010-12-07T15:49:00.000-08:00

I thought it would be interesting to take a look at what I've covered this year in the Sage's Play blog. Here's a summary, starting in January 2010. Blog posts marked the passing of human potential figure George Leonard, feminist theologian Mary Daly and gerontologist Dr. Robert Butler.

Some of the film and video mentions included:
Elizabeth Gilbert's TED.com talk on creativity
Dan Buettner's TED.com talk on longevity and cultures that support it
A new documentary on the life of local activist/artist Dot Fisher-Smith
The German film Cloud 9 for its fresh take on late life romance
A trailer from the film on women and creativity "Who Does She Think She Is?"

Book reviews included:
The Making of an Elder Culture by Theodore Roszak
The Longevity Prescription by Dr. Robert Butler
Audacious Aging, an anthology edited by Stephanie Marohn
The Measure of My Days, Florida Scott-Maxwell
Somewhere Towards the End, Diana Athill

I think there were more book mentions and recommendations, but that's good enough for now. I spotlighted well-aged singers and often included film clips of their singing. BB King, Leonard Cohen, Etta James,Yoko Ono, Chavela Vargas and Judy Collins were included. I talked about a grandmother who has become a very popular international DJ-- Ruth Flowers, aka MamyRock and shared news about the work of 91-year old artist Vollis Simpson and dancer Twyla Tharp. Other posts featured 91-year old yoga teacher Tao Porchon Lynch and yogini Iris Lambert, who's a bit younger. I shared news about the theater troupe Crackpot Crones and talked about Peg Rubin's Center for Sacred Theater.

I suggested that we develop an Elder Hall of Fame and noted some of the folks I would nominate for it. The Elder Hall of Fame is still one of my favorite notions. In between all that, I talked about creativity and health, my own creative process and projects, mortality, Buddhism, poetry, friends, relaxing in hot springs, housing, travel and of course the weather.

I am not surprised by how many vibrant, creative, innovative older people I discovered during the year, whose work and lives I shared in this blog. But there are many people who might be surprised. They still subscribe to the Decline Model, and regard aging as a terrible time of life, something to be avoided at all costs. I hope the consciousness-raising music of the Church of the Radically Alive Elders reaches their ears soon.

Here's a quote from Malidome Patrice Some's Of Water and The Spirit, a book I really love. The book itself is about the power of initiation. This quote speaks about the place of elders in society. "Elders and mentors have an irreplaceable function in the life of any community. Without them the young are lost--their overflowing energies wasted in useless pursuits. The old must live in the young like a grounding force..."

This is what we must remember and live into. Otherwise, we will continue to buy into the values of a society where perpetual adolescence is the goal. As I've said before, I was young already. Now I'm in the new growth stage of oldness. It's a good, gentle, powerful, creative, compassionate, wild place to be. Let's "act as if" elders are already valued and respected. Eventually, it will catch on.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and looking forward to more friendship and collaboration in the fields and gardens of positive aging in the coming year.

P.S. I plan to take a bit of a blog break--that's good for the soul from time to time. Happy trails to you until we meet again.

Landscapes of the Inner Life

2010-12-05T10:19:00.000-08:00

Music pours out, as if I was born to it, or it was born of me through dimensions, layers, lifetimes. I am searching through dreams, thoughts and memories for the words and soundlines to bring this story through. Long ago, before any maps were made, there were people who found their way across vast oceans, sensing and imagining their way over distances where none of their known ancestors had ever gone before. Of course, the ancient people used their ordinary senses, looking out across the endless water, feeling its currents, the movement of winds and the play of weather, day after day, month after month. Physically traversing those distances, with all the rigors of the body and the elements, they also believed themselves into the space, bringing the other shore to them magnetically. Way-Finding they called it.

We each have our own Way Finding. My own predilections always draw me back to the white marble room, an immense lustrous chamber with high vaulted ceilings and tall arched windows. It is a dear, familiar place, a refuge from the rush of the modern world. I have spent many days and nights there, reading, feeling the sun on my face, looking out at the stars and moon.

Sometimes I wish that I were still living in a time when we could bury ourselves in solitude, when the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge and the work of the soul’s metamorphosis had at least as much collective import as did outer successes. I yearn for that amidst the depredations of the current era. Inwardly, I yearn for leisure, spaciousness, and grace. Outwardly, I yearn for great forests, glens, prairies and all the undiminished richness and variety of Nature to sing out in ecstatic splendor, drowning the sounds of machines, drowning not only their sounds, but their imprint on our lives, our enslavement to them.

In this marble wonderful room there is a globe that stands on a long wooden table. Aside from the table and two chairs, the room is very empty. But it has a sense of space, light, and depth that never fails to refresh and renew me. Texts with gem-like illustrations, their pages edged with gold, fill one wall of the room. The instruments and substances of alchemy are also set out on the wooden table. In that room, I am the woman whose forehead shines with light. I am my own beacon.

My house has many other rooms. From the beautiful white marble room, a heavy wooden door opens out to a narrow hallway. I must take the lantern with me. The hallway winds and turns, its stairs descending deep into the earth. The air here is old and dry. I remember the first time I went down these stairs with this same lantern, arriving at a doorway covered with heavy, deep red brocade cloth. I gently pulled the cloth aside and looked into the room that appeared before me. It was not more than ten feet by twelve feet large, illuminated by votive candles set on a ledge that ran along its walls. Its ceiling was low, its dark walls were hewn from black rock. Three icons hung on the walls-- one of Jesus, one of the Black Madonna, and one of St. Michael. In the candlelight, their golden halos blazed out from the dark backgrounds of the paintings.

I saw all this instantaneously, the way the mind's eye takes things in. At the same time, I saw an ornate, jewel-encrusted coffin in which lay an old King, strong and undecayed. His deep red robe was embroidered with flowers sewn of golden threads. His beautiful golden crown was set with rubies and emeralds. It took me many months to bring back the memory of the Queen who lay beside him like a still flower. She had a perfume, not of death, but of the ineffable.

The sheer wonder of the place drew me in. I was thirsty for the things that showed themselves to me there, though I cannot now put words together to explain what they were, nor would I wish to. I hope you do not want me to explain the subterranean chamber or the marble room. Every definition I fix on them confines their numinous resonance. I do not wish to flatten or inflate them. Let them be just as they are. Let them remain or fade away as they will.

Of course I have a Tower. To my mind, no house is well done without a Tower reaching out to meet the sky. This is a story of my house and my journey. Of course that makes me fall over laughing. Why? Because as Lorca once said in a poem, “My house is not my house, and I am no longer I.” It is not real or solid, none of it. It has no substance. I have no substance. The whole thing is dreamlike, as much a dream as the splendid and transformative marble room to which I return again and again.

As I approach my seventh decade, I return to these landscapes of my inner life and those that comprise my outer story and I reflect on their patterns, meaning and luminous, empty nature. Even when I am washing the dishes in my kitchen part of me lives in these mythically resonant rooms of dream and imagination, in the woods and fields, the white marble room, the Tower. Even when I am deeply immersed in my inner life experience, everyday activities draw me to them, reminding me that they too also have an unpredictable, mysterious depth. In the midst of family and friends, with the appearance of both invited and unexpected guests, the mythic drama of the present moment spills forth. Decade after decade, treasure accumulates.

Bolinas, Village of the Whales

2010-11-26T20:18:00.000-08:00

In the early Seventies,my daughter Danielle and I made our first trip to Bolinas. It was the kind of day that makes you forget that there is any suffering in human life, a day defined by brisk air, big blue sky, and all the freshness and movement of early autumn. In our pale blue Plymouth Valiant with the word POETRY painted on the driver’s side, we came over the softly rounded bosom of Mt. Tamalpais, winding down the hairpin turns of coastal Highway 1 until we reached the curved shoreline of Stinson Beach. We drove along the edge of the limpid blue water of Bolinas Lagoon, where white egrets nested in tall eucalyptus groves in a nearby canyon and flocks of pelicans circled and dove into the silky water. Past the lagoon, huge eucalyptus trees lined the road on either side as we approached the town.

Once I saw that place, I was done for. I couldn't resist its beauty. It was the fairytale town I had always longed for. Bolinas had a wonderful scent, a perfume mixed of the sea, pungent eucalyptus, wet earth, chaparral, seaweed, cows, horses, fish and roses. Its tiny downtown boasted a charming white clapboard church. There was an old-fashioned general store, a small cafe, a hardware store, a library, a seedily chic old hotel, a small post office, a bar that never seemed to empty, and a surfboard shop populated with a panoply of beautiful young guys. Bolinas was home to many poets and a mecca for artists, musicians, healers, cowboys, fishermen, craftspeople and unique wanderers. From the start, I felt very much at home there in that village of 1200 people, called by some a hippie arcadia and by others a bohemian outpost.

Bolinas in the Seventies was a heady place. I've been writing about my experiences there in Songs of the Inner Life, my current book-in progress. As part of my research, I thought it would be instructive to re-read The Town that Fought to Save Itself, a book written by Orville Schell and published in 1976. Schell became quite a prominent China scholar in the following decades. Schell's Bolinas book (in which he calls the village Briones--Bolinasians like to hide their town's identity and whereabouts--often taking the road sign down so that motorists can't find the turnoff) chronicles the town's efforts to develop and maintain a zero-growth policy, something Bolinas has succeeded in preserving all these years--an unusual and marvelous feat, to my mind. Forty years later, nothing has changed much, thanks to that zero-growth policy. There is still plenty of open space, natural beauty and wildness preserved there. Nothing can replace that. I wish more towns would do what Bolinas has done. How different Ashland, Oregon the town I've lived in for over 30 years would be now if that were true. As it is, new townhouse developments and impressively large houses continue to be built in fields and on the hills, which changes the natural environment drastically. People who move here from LA and NY think it is a quiet, laid back place, but it is far more speedy, impersonal and congested than it was 30 years ago because of growth.

I've had a fascination with whales since childhood so it was oddly coincidental that I wound up in Bolinas. I didn't have any idea that the name of the village meant whale when I moved there, but when I discovered that, it made me happy. In Bolinas, I became involved with Project Jonah, the first environmental organization dedicated to saving the whales, before Greenpeace began. The time I spent in Bolinas was filled with unusual coincidences and magic, and I've been enjoying writing down the stories.

When I opened Orville Schell's book and discovered one of my poems on a page right before the Prologue, I was taken by surprise. I had completely forgotten that my poem appeared in that book. It's strange to encounter something you wrote a long time ago and forgot about. It's a bit like looking at an old photograph or letter from many years past. Here's the poem.

POEM

Words themselves are medicine.
By telling the events of our time
we give meaning to them.
Words themselves are medicine.

It was considered a sacred place.
The mountain is considered a sacred mountain.

It is said that they lived here peacefully
naked, that they hunted quail, rabbit, deer.
By the bay, in the village that is now Bolinas
the people lived. They are
all dead now, sang songs no one remembers
nor can tell the things they danced to
when time was called moon of the black cherries
moon when the ponies shed their hair
moon when the deer shed their horns.
Olema they named, for the coyote.
Petaluma they named, that means flat hill.
Whales, then many whales
swam past the coast in the time
of water, in the time of darkening
light, swam south to mate.

The Miwok tribe lived here.
Before the Gold Rush, before the
lumbering started, when the land
was still people with giant redwoods
when trees still spoke, were revered.
Before Spanish, Portuguese, Irish or
Italians, before Chinese or Japanese
came here, the Miwok lived here,
or near here. Some say this place
was such a sacred place that no one
was bold enough to live here, but
came here only to get strong, be healed.

The wind is blowing here in Ashland tonight. I guess we're in for some weather. I enjoyed hanging out with some old friends yesterday on Thanksgiving. I appreciate my old friends even more as the years go by. I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving Day, too.

Oh, I don't want to forget this marvelous item about Super Mamika , in which a photographer grandson encourages his 91-year old grandmother to dress up as a super heroine. Great photos! You will enjoy them, I am sure.

The Call to Creativity

2010-11-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

I used to say that Rolling Stones drummer Keith Richards looked as if he was preserved in colorless nail polish-- but really that description relates more to Cher, whose beauty has remained delightfully smooth and wrinkle-free thanks I am guessing to a fair amount of cosmetic attention. Whereas Keith Richards' years show on his deeply lined face. Richards' just-published autobiography has been attracting media attention, and Cher's role in the movie Burlesque has, too. But of course one does not have to be famous to continue to be creative in later life.

Creativity is a wonderful asset at any age; it provides a meaningful, passionate way to enjoy and engage. The older I get, the more true that seems to me. I have two big projects I want to finish. My involvement with them enriches my life. I have written about my musical revue on aging A New Wrinkle here over the past year. I am also working on Songs of the Inner Life, a book which I began when I was in my mid 50s. I have written several drafts. I wasn't ready to finish it all the intervening years, but now I feel mature enough, and want to complete the book by 2012.

These two projects are very different. The musical revue is full of social commentary that is funny and sometimes scathing. It focuses on the value of aging as a stage of life and presents a more full, accurate view of the later years than our current anti-aging social perspectives allow. The book is much more reflective, exploring peak experiences, dark nights of the soul and persistent life lessons and patterns-- the life of imagination and spirit over time. Both projects are very exciting to me. I love working on them; the experience of bringing them to completion is quite thrilling, as it engages me not only with the solitary work of creating, but also with collaborating, meeting a steady stream of new people, and learning new skills.

It seems wise to me to continue to dream big, or if one never has dreamed big, to pull out the stops and go for it. What is there to lose?

I have a friend who is a dancer and she is holding a 70th birthday party tonight in our downtown community center. A vividly spiritual person who really comes from her heart, she teaches 4-5 classes a week, leads a dance company that offers regular concerts and does ongoing weekend seminars, too. Her engagement with her creative process and everyone she meets continues to be very alive. Her aliveness inspires us all.

The current blog post of IAHSA, the Global Aging Network, had a wonderful report on some older singers, one of them Chavela Vargas. "At 91 years old, Chavela Vargas, a well-known Costa Rican singer, continues to have a thriving music career. Vargas rose to prominence in the 1970′s as a singer of Mexican rancheras, boleros and corridos. These songs are like miniature operas, with over-the-top expressions of tragedy, heartbreak and redemption. For many, her interpretations of these songs are the versions that best define the power of these pieces." What a rich and powerful presence she is in this film clip.

As Gene Cohen wrote in his terrific book The Creative Age, creativity can have a Big C or a little c. The call to creativity embraces the whole spectrum, whether it's making jam, painting a room, writing a poem, praying or creating a pottery bowl. Creativity means opening our senses to the present moment. It gives us the opportunity to climb out of any boxes we may be habitually sitting in and simply play. Play and creativity involve spontaneity, letting go, being seen (to ourselves and others too), pleasure and enjoyment, a delightful bath in the immediacy of the moment. What calls you to creativity?

Wishing you a happy Thanksgiving time. There is so much I am thankful for.

Autumn Splendor

2010-11-12T19:45:00.001-08:00

When I saw these gorgeous photos of Lithia Park taken recently by fellow Ashlander Jeffrey Weissler, I was so taken with them that I asked for permission to share them here, with Jeffrey kindly gave.

This photo at left is of the Japanese garden, beautiful gem set in Lithia Park.

I took a walk in the park today, since we were graced with another marvelous sunny and refreshingly warm day. The autumn foliage has already moved past its most showy phase, but in the bright sunlight one big oak tree's leaves blazed golden.

Autumn is often described as a melancholy season, but this one has defied that portrayal. Still, I can't resist sharing three of my favorite Japanese poems about autumn, just to honor the elegiac tone.

Autumn has come
to the lonely cottage
buried in dense hop vines
which nobody visits.
--the monk Eikei

In a gust of wind the white dew
on the autumn grass
scatters like a broken necklace.
--Bunya No Asayasu

Deep in the mountain
trampling the red maple leaves
I hear the stag cry out
in the sorrow of autumn.
---the priest Sarumaru

I am still not over the cold I caught a week or more ago and am headed to bed to read and rest. So enjoy these three wonderful images and poems until we meet again.

Full Moon Variety Show: Living Long, Long Silver Hair, Singing Out at 90

2010-10-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

What makes people live to be 100? According to this wonderful commentary by Dan Buettner on TED, there are some valuable lessons to learn about longevity. Buettner is a National Geographic writer and explorer who studied long-lived peoples in Sardinia and Okinawa. The link to his 21-minute talk is below. Some of the important elements he discovered are: not exercising on purpose necessarily, but living a life full of ongoing enjoyable movement and exercise. Most of the long-lived elders he studied continue to do physical work. Social equity--living in close connection with others. Those elders are fortunate to live in cultures that admire and respect their age. They enjoy full participation in the life of their community. Their lives are relaxed and free of stress. They do not overeat. They participate in spiritual practice and religion. They are motivated by "the thing that makes you want to get up in the morning" as they say among the elders in Okinawa. Great talk. Worth the time. I mused about the importance of movement, inspiration, pleasure and social connection as I watched it. My lifestyle contains many of these elements, but I am always ready to pour in more enjoyment, relaxation, meaning and social connection.

I read a great article on older women with long gray/silver hair in the New York Times yesterday. It was written by Dominique Browning whose blog Slow Love Life I enjoy reading. Browning likes her hair long and wonders why there is such a reaction to long hair among older women. This morning, there were 351 comments on the article. Some readers remembered their mothers or grandmother's long, long hair. Others talked about how they love having long hair themselves as older women. And some spoke of how completely awful it is for older women to have long hair. In the comments, there was much talk of the power of hair, its sensuality, being oneself, etc. I enjoyed the conversation that ensued, but gave up reading the comments after about #80 or so.

Someone posted this marvelous film clip on FB. In it, 90 year old tenor Angelo Laforese provides sonic evidence of the richness and power of his voice. A testimony to the beauty of creative aging, to its opportunities.

In the variety show of my ordinary life, I find myself in the wash of the Full Moon energies today. I'm glad my dear friend Frannie is coming over for dinner tonight. I'm contemplating what to cook with the help of my Sicilian Home Cooking book.

Friday--full moon day--the day awaits with all its openness. Of course, there's the ongoing creative work. I think I'm nearly done with my new song "Death is Just around the Corner" and I've already started to imagine how to develop the next song. Then I wonder, should I go swimming at the Y? Take a walk in Lithia Park where the gold and red trees are still in magnificent color? The library is closed today, so I have to wait until tomorrow to pick up my reserved copy of Florida Scott-Maxwell's memoir The Measure of My Days. I am really looking forward to reading that. What is inspiring your life right now?

Portraits of Three Older Women

2010-10-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

Dot Fisher-Smith

"Well behaved women seldom make history."--Laura Thatcher Ulrich, a history professor at Harvard who wrote a book with that title

That quote is one that people often apply to Dot Fisher-Smith, who has been a force of nature in my community for decades. As these two images show, Dot presents an iconic image of the older woman. The top image is from a beautiful card series called Wonder of the Mother. The image below shows Dot in 1996 chained by the neck to a logging truck near Croman Mills in Ashland, Oregon as she and others protested one of a hundred timber sales Congress had exempted from environmental constraints. Dot has a long history of nonviolent protesting. And that ongoing commitment to justice and nature is only one aspect of her life and work. She is an artist, a counselor, workshop leader and for years was a Zen practitioner. She has influenced and supported many people in many ways over the years. She is now 82.

One of her friends and admirers, Willow Denker, has been filming Dot for about 13 years. That long commitment to telling Dot's story has resulted in a wonderful documentary titled Dot: An Ordinary Life, An Extraordinary Person. I attended its premier last night and predictably the place was packed with an audience eager to honor Dot and her life. The movie is marvelous and it's even more marvelous when you consider that both of the women who created it are novices at filmmaking. The film did such a great job of depicting Dot's life history and the various facets of her personality and worldview.

"I'm very pragmatic and minimalist," Dot says. "At the heart of it, what inspires people is that I'm my own authority. I've never been conventional. I don't look to any outside authority. That's what everyone wants to be." I think that sums it up. The quote is from an article by John Darling which talks about Dot's life and the movie.

This is a film that deserves wide viewing. The producer and director are trying to get it accepted into the Ashland Independent Film Festival. I hope that happens, and I hope it is shown in many other communities, too. I will put a link up about the documentary here as soon as one becomes available.

Cloud 9

A couple of days ago I picked up Cloud 9, a German movie released in 2008. Steve at Video Explorer thought it was a comedy. But it turned out to be a very refreshing film about romance and love in the later years. The protagonist Inge, a woman in her late 60s, has been in a long, loving but also rather dull relationship for 30 years when she falls in love with a free spirit in his 70s. Inge is no botoxed/liposuctioned screen siren. Instead, she appears as a rather typical older woman, a seamstress, wife, mother and grandmother. I loved the real-life quality of the film--visits with the daughter and grandkids, life with the long-time husband, then the effervescent splash of adventures with a new lover. The New York Times review provides a good summary of what makes Cloud 9 so compelling. The reviewer said, "Filmed without gloss or glamour, using insistent close-ups and precisely calibrated framing, “Cloud 9” augments its modest narrative with unguarded performances and visual lucidity...Facing the cinematic taboo of twilight-years nudity head-on and upfront, Mr. Dresen and his actors create an atmosphere of reckless vulnerability that’s immediately compelling and artistically intriguing."

Vulnerability, passion, the complexity of dealing with the results of one's actions--nothing Hollywood-romantic here, just real portraits of real older people. In terms of portraying an older woman, there's not a stereotype in sight, although the film does include one funny joke about how 80 year olds make love. Excellent acting and complexity. Great flick. Recommend it.

Shopping Cart Annie and Gloria Wasserman

I read a rather eye-opening article in the New York Times about another iconic older woman. The article was titled Death of a Fulton Fish Market Fixture and it tells the story of an 85-year old woman known as Shopping Cart Annie, the profane mother of the Fulton Fish Market for decades--a woman who sold cigarettes, flashed her breasts and told dirty jokes. I found her life story astounding. There was her life as Annie, and there was her other life, the one she had been born into as Gloria Wasserman. She was a mother and grandmother who had been beautiful, spunky and sexually free. As her daughter noted, “I don’t know how you could put it nicely. But she had a flamboyant life.”

Annie/Gloria began her long association with the Fulton Fish Market in the 70s. "She cleaned the market’s offices and locker rooms and bathrooms. She collected the men’s “fish clothes” on Friday and had them washed and ready for Monday. She ran errands for Mr. DeLuca, known as Stevie Coffee Truck, hustling to Chinatown to pick up, say, some ginseng tea. She accepted the early morning delivery of bagels. She tried to anticipate the men’s needs — towels, bandannas, candy — and had these items available for sale." She made good money and she was regularly robbed.

Away from the market, she lived in a city-owned apartment as Gloria Wasserman. And she gave everything she earned to her family, often sending $4,000 a month to relatives on both coasts. She went to weddings and other family events and at the Fish Market was a good friend and helper to many street women, encouraging them and supporting them. When I finished this article, I just sat there confounded. What a unique, surprising life.

Aren't human beings amazing? Ah, the ways they choose to live their lives, the astonishing dimensions, facets and secrets each human being contains. It never works to assume you know the story or sum total of anyone. Although to come back to where I began with this post, I think that the documentary about Dot Fisher-Smith's life does a great job of capturing her layers, dimensions and complexity. It's a beautiful honoring of a full, vital life.

Artist's Life: Many Doors

2010-10-12T17:48:00.000-07:00

“In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself.” -- Jiddu Krishnamurti

Which of these three doorway do you like the most? I am asking myself that too as I begin this post. This marvelous ruin of a doorway in Greece that frames the Mediterranean appeals to me today. I am after all the gal who always used to say "It's nothing that a month in Greece wouldn't cure." Something I have never put to the test as yet. However, it rings true.

I like all of these doorways. Each has its own particular charm. Just as each day, each year, each decade has particular charm, qualities, climate and mysteries. Today I've been graced by sailing on peaceful waters. I appreciate the experience of openness and freedom, especially when it arises as fully as it did today.

I went for a leisurely walk in the park this morning. It was sunny and warm. The leaves are turning gold and red--gorgeous. I visited our wonderful Ashland Food Co-op and bought some beautiful pears, chard, persimmons and fresh mozzarella. The rest of the day I spent working on song lyrics. I am thinking of titling this new song Death is Just around the Corner. I'm pleased with the progress I made on it today. It was a good day, artistically speaking.

“When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.”--Joseph Campbell

Over the weekend, I went to Portland and attended a meeting of elderbloggers at Ronni Bennett's home. I enjoyed meeting the beautiful array of people who gathered there. We are all connected through blogging and as fans of Ronni's blog(which I read daily). Ronni set out quite a glorious spread of delicious foods and the conversation was lively. While I was in Portland, I stayed with my friend Clark, who is an old friend and now has been ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist monk. His beautiful home, set high on the hill over Portland, houses a Tibetan Buddhist Dharma center called Dorje Ling. It was delightful to re-connect with Clark and to learn more about how Buddhism has taken hold in Portland, where several new Asian Buddhist temples have been constructed in the past few years. Clark's land is magical. The view is panoramic, and then the land goes down into woodlands that lead to Forest Park. Clark tells me that if you turn right at the trail, you can walk 12 miles and if you turn left, you can walk 10 miles. "I never see anybody there," he says. Amazing, right in the city. This doorway reminds me a bit of his woodlands, where coyotes and bobcats roam.

This last doorway is bright red, ornamented by beautiful red roses. I imagine I would enjoy that house. I have lived in so many houses over the years. Today I am thinking of the old farmhouse in Pennsylvania surrounded by cherry orchard. The house was painted white with yellow trim. It had a wonderful front porch and a cooling room under the house through which ran a stream. I lived there with my older daughter and my friend Jane many years ago.

I feel fortunate and grateful today as the evening falls. Hope you are similarly contented. It's one of the secret pleasures of aging, isn't it, the increased acceptance and contentment? Not that I am happy and content all the time. But I sure am much happier and more content than I ever was earlier in my life. It's a good thing.

Artist's Life: Writing a Song about Death

2010-10-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I have not lived.”--Henry David Thoreau

Someday I'll be a weather-beaten skull resting on a grass pillow,
Serenaded by a stray bird or two.
Kings and commoners end up the same,
No more enduring than last night's dream.
~Ryokan

After an aha moment with playwright friend Carolyn Myers recently, I've been revamping A New Wrinkle, my production on the pleasures and predicaments of aging. The aha moment involved the possibility of moving the project from a musical theater format to a musical revue format, which I've decided to do.

That change solves problems that have dogged me since I started the project in January 2009--to wit, interesting character development and a compelling plot with the kind of dramatic impact needed in theater. Although I did make progress in those areas, thanks to the help of Carolyn and other skilled dramatic writers, I was never very satisfied with the overall result.

It seems I am much better at writing songs. I love the songs I've created so far, and it makes so much more sense to put the material out in a musical revue format. My composer colleague Laura Rich got very excited when I told her the news. "I think it will be even better this way!" she said with enthusiasm. Of course, that made me glad, because I needed her to be enthused about the change and interested in composing music for some new songs, which I will be writing to cover important topics that had been dealt with only in the play script.

This week I'm working on a song about death. It is a good time of year to do it, with Halloween and Day of the Dead already in the air. Lately I imagine Death as a Mambo King, quite attractive, with a long cloak and a big standup collar. I hope my as yet unnamed song about death is as good as some of the other lyrics I've written, which Laura has composed such great music for.

I've been wanting to get some of the songs in A New Wrinkle recorded with singers and at least piano accompaniment and get clips of them up on You Tube. That will help with fundraising, too. But it hasn't happened yet. There's just so much a gal can do, even when she is a semi-reformed Type A.

Today is our first cool, cloudy autumn day. I'm taking off in a little while to have lunch with my younger daughter who just got accepted into graduate school. Later today, I am looking forward to going to NIA dance at the Y. In between, I plan to work on the death song. October Monday, the menu for the day.

I'm heading to Portland on Friday for a blogger meetup with Ronni Bennett of Time Goes By and other elder bloggers. I'm really looking forward to it.

Aging: Some Thoughts on Architecture, Place and Community

2010-09-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

I'm your basic romantic type, and that extends to architecture and shelter. As I entered my 50s, I told my friends that I wanted to grow old living in the country in a teepee, dome or rustic cabin. Simondale, the beautiful (also inexpensively built, low impact) hobbit house in Wales shown in this photograph is my idea of a truly marvelous dwelling.

I've never lived in a teepee, but have enjoyed being at home in both dome and rustic cabin. My friend Mouna Wilson lives in a wonderful dome in the Colestine Valley where I myself lived in a rustic cabin for many years. I wish I had taken a photo or two of her place when I was there last week, as the full moon made its way across the sky window at top of the dome. I'll have to do that and post it here soon.

Right now, after happily living alone in Ashland for the past 13 years, I am sharing a place (still in town) with my friend Louise Pare. Louise and I get along well and it's been a good experience in terms of social engagement and affordability. But I have to admit, the impulse for country living is still strong in me.

Living alone or in community is a subject that I've been musing about quite a bit lately. According to the 2000 census, 30% of older Americans live alone and the percentage rises with age. It affects women more because they live longer than men, so for example, 57% of women 85 or older live alone. Poverty increases the impact for many elders who live alone.

Social isolation is a specter for many older people. You don't need scientific studies to know that the kind of severe social isolation that many elders live with is not good for your health, mental or physical. It makes sense to engineer a life that is socially engaged, and home is one place we can do that.

Because our aging population is increasing so quickly, there is a scramble to invent new ways to live in the later years. Buzz words include aging in place and aging in community. Most people want to live where they are planted or if they choose a new community place they want to be engaged with others.

(Being an educated person, you probably already know that only 5% of elders live in nursing homes.) Most of the over 60 population lives in their own homes or live with family or in elder co-housing, elder house share, the village movement and continuing care retirement communities, among others. The New York Times ran an informative article titled Living Together, Aging Together. Author Paula Span reported on several cohousing developments in California, Colorado and Virginia. I found both of these articles fascinating. It's great to see elders developing community together this way.

Co-housing options appeal to those who have sufficient retirement income. The ElderSpirit community in Abington, Virginia is the only one I've heard of that has included rentals for elders on fixed income in their model. These units are funded by federal housing money. I wish more co-housing groups would include options for low-income rentals. Not all elders can afford to buy into elder co-housing.

I found some interesting information on shared housing and home share options for lower-income elders. Increasingly, state and local agencies are investigating how to create affordable, community-based housing options. The National Shared Housing organization is a clearinghouse of information.

I am looking forward to meeting Raines Cohen, who contributed to the book Audacious Aging, and who with his partner Betsy maintains a website Aging in Community. Check it out for much more information on elder cohousing, village networks,ecovillages, intentional community and more.

What is your take on elder living arrangements--do you favor living alone or in community?

The Harvest Moon Wakes Me at 3 AM

2010-09-24T06:02:00.001-07:00

The full moon often pitches me into a state of non-ordinary reality. First, dreams that are like boats filled with the wind of imagination and creativity. Then waking at 3AM full of energy and a childlike delight, of the kind you can see in this wonderful photo by Laurent Laveder, who made a whole series of full and crescent moon photos with his children. When I woke at 3AM, I walked outside and put my face up to the moon. The stars were very beautiful.

"There they stand, the innumerable stars, shining in order like a living hymn, written in light." ~N.P. Willis

Now it is after 6 and the sky is lightening. And I can't say exactly how those three very light lunar hours flew away, as I looked at the sky, mused about my life and enjoyed the ardent, bouyant feelings the harvest moon ignited in me.

I am glad to experience a shift in the tides of the inner sea. For the past couple of months, I was feeling blocked about my musical play on aging A New Wrinkle because I was not satisfied with the script. I love the songs in the play, but the script itself has never felt right to me. The other day, I had a meeting with my playwright/performer friend Carolyn Myers (mentioned in an earlier post on her feminist comedy troupe Crackpot Crones) and she suggested that I might like the project better as a musical revue. Wow! As soon as I heard that, a weight that I've been dealing with for months lifted off me. Yes! This feels very right. Then I had a meeting last night with my composer colleague Laura Rich and she was very excited about the change and happy to compose more music. She agreed that the new format might actually be a much better way to present the material. So this morning I am refreshed and optimistic about going forward. I plan to write lyrics for at least 2 new songs and invent some narrative that flows around the songs. Yay!

Creating art is real work, and it can be hard work at times. It's not all marvelous dictation or initiation from the Muse. Having a community of support is very helpful. I went to two artist creative support groups this week, which was wonderful. I've been part of Artist Conference Network for a year. Our meeting was held in a dome in the country this time, and I could see the full moon in the sky window at the top of the dome the whole time. It was a very intimate, sweet meeting.

I went to another meeting of a group that uses the model of something that began as No Limits for Women Artists and is now called Artist Leadership Network. It was a powerful, intimate meeting. The two approaches are quite different in ways, but the intent is much the same. It is delightful and very useful to engage with other artists in a mutually encouraging way and I'm glad that's now part of my life.

Autumn equinox already. I am still hoping it is warm enough this weekend to swim at the hot springs.

Creative Aging and the Flowering of the Inner Life

2010-09-18T07:06:00.000-07:00

Our annual fall retreat at Tashi Choling Center for Buddhist Studies ended yesterday with a big tsok (blessed food) feast. What a blissful, happy, delightful time of spiritual practice this retreat has been. My spiritual teacher is now 86, and our time together is even more precious than ever. I found it difficult to leave, even after I changed gears by helping to clean and re-organize the temple shrine room, which needed it after a week of retreat practices three times a day, and even after Sarah and I swept and mopped the floor of our adjacent East Wing, which is our more social gathering place with a kitchen, dining room and bookstore.

I sat outside with a few lingering friends and watched the processional of deer. We have a congregation of deer it seems, in the meadows and hills, and all around the temple. They are safe from hunters here. I'm so accustomed to the trusting way the deer move around near the temple that when visitors show up and exclaim about it, it startles me. I finally got into my car and drove down to the Mandala Garden to circumnambulate the big Vajrasattva statue and contemplate returning to my so-called ordinary life. The top photo shows the Mandala Garden, and the temple is on the hill above it.

In the Mandala Garden I met my old friend Lama Bruce, an unassuming guy who is also a very good meditation teacher, partly because he has spent most of his adult life in meditation practice and retreat. Bruce was leading a tour for folks at Mountain Meadows, a continuing care retirement community in Ashland. They all departed after awhile, and I circled the statue and turned the prayer wheels by myself, while the clouds formed marvelous patterns across the sky and the tiny finches enjoyed the seeds in a nearby bird feeder. I could have stayed there for hours longer, but finally I got in my car and drove to town, reminding myself that integrating spiritual practice into everyday awareness and life is what it's all about because we sit on our cushions for only part of the day, but we are in our minds 24/7.

As I grow older, the inner life of spirit and imagination fills more and more of my experience. I remember reading an article by Jane Thibault titled Aging as a Natural Monastery. In the article Thibault points out how aging simplifies one's experience. "It was as if life had been stripped down to its barest essentials, so that the real could shine through and be appreciated, even if the real involved pain and suffering...In a very real sense the experience of old age, especially frail elderhood, is an experience of living monastically. Solitary life in one’s own home or common life in a nursing home is an experience of winnowing, of paring down to the barest essentials."

My own immersion in the natural monastery of aging has not reached that stage yet, but it will. Meanwhile, my natural monastery has more activity, in the midst of which beautiful gardens of solitude and contemplation bloom. I love being in those gardens. Being, simply being. Breathing. Remembering, recalling the pristine nature.

Last evening I attended a marvelous poetry concert by Kim Rosen author of Saved by a Poem. a gorgeous book which I highly recommend if you have any interest in heightened awareness and the transformative power of words and poetry. Her performance was thrilling as she shared poetry of many poets, along with beautiful mostly cello music. I couldn't take her workshop because I am doing a solo performance tomorrow, but I look forward to connecting with her more sometime soon.

Yes, my house concert In the Presence of the Sacred happens tomorrow at my old friends Rochelle and Rob Jaffe's home. I chose the beautiful image of an angel for the poster we created for the event. The image is taken from a Giotto fresco. I love its freshness and immediacy. Tomorrow I will be sharing healing voice in the form of wordless improvisational song and will also be offering hymns and prayers of St. Francis, Milarepa, Lorca, the Tibetan siddhi Gotsampa and others. I set some of the pieces to music myself. Some have traditional melodies, and some arrived with composed melodies when I discovered them.

All of my solo performances have at their heart a call to adventure, and that adventure is being in the presence of the sacred--opening up into an exalted, consecrated way of being or state of mind. But this performance is especially so, because of the nature of the hymns and prayers in it. I am looking forward to tomorrow, to sharing with the particular mandala field of energy vibration that is attracted to take part (also known as the audience). I also look forward to the opportunity to share this particular sacred constellation more with further audiences in other venues. So if you find the notion of sponsoring this work interesting, email or call me.

Oh, the photo in the center is a pathway in Lithia Park, where I often love to walk.

More Local Color

2010-09-10T20:46:00.001-07:00

I know I said I would review Robert N. Butler M.D.'s new book The Longevity Prescription. But as an appetizer, how about these images? From top to bottom they are my friend Elizabeth Robinson's garden, then a series of images of the wonderful paintings on the walls of Morning Glory, a great local restaurant where my daughter Sophia and I had brunch today. The haiku by Basho is the last image, and it's what inspired Morning Glory's name.

I've been on a photographic jag lately. I also took some photos in Lithia Park today, but I'll save them for another time.

About Dr. Butler's Longevity Prescription book: It's completely practical, easy to read, full of very interesting medical and psychological research about aging, and at times it's inspiring, too. Dr. Butler was a living example of everything he explains here--keeping mentally and physically vital, having a passion or some kind of meaningful engagement, engaging your creativity, cultivating close friendships and intimate relationships, getting out of your comfort zone to learn or explore new things, maintaining a healthy weight, eating a healthy diet, exercising in ways that are pleasurable, sleeping enough, taking care of medical and dental needs and last but certainly not least eliminating stress.

The book includes a Longevity Index quiz that is informative and useful. The quiz allows you to evaluate yourself in all the above-mentioned areas and check what's going well and where things could work better. Because Dr. Butler, who passed away in July, was an M.D. and a psychiatrist the book contains a fair amount of medical information, which most readers will find quite useful.

Definitely recommended reading. Maybe you're thinking my review is kinda blah. Well, I do read a lot in the area of aging, and I have read some of this material in other reports that Dr. Butler's International Longevity Institute has published. But don't let my been there-read that attitude deter you from checking this book out yourself, because it contains a variety of encouraging and sometimes surprising material on aging and its valuable opportunities. We are living a lot longer, and we all want to make those years meaningful.

One week to go to my September 19th performance gathering "In the Presence of the Sacred." I am really looking forward to it.

Theater of the Crackpot Crones: Making Art of Aging

2010-09-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

Two playwright/performers, Carolyn Myers and Terry Baum, have formed a theatrical duo they call the Crackpot Crones. Carolyn and Terry collaborated many years ago on Dos Lesbos, a prize-winning play, one of the first plays from a lesbian perspective. Now they've re-united to take a cronish look at growing older.

As they will tell you when they start up, Carolyn is a small town heterosexual, wife and mother and Terry is an urban lesbian. Since they formed Crackpot Crones, they have been performing in the SF Bay area and Oregon, but this summer they hit the Big Apple, too.

I've been friends with Carolyn for over 30 years. She has many wonderful qualities, and one of them is being hilariously funny. She also belongs to the Hamazons, (The Warrior Princesses of Comedy) an improvisational comedy troupe that has enjoyed a decade of happy success here in the Pacific Northwest. Carolyn is now the oldest member of the current Hamazons group because all the original older members have left and been replaced by younger ones. So even in the Hamazons, she maintains the crone perspective.

The other day Carolyn confessed that she felt like a theatrical bigamist, belonging to both the Crackpot Crones and the Hamazons. I think that is pretty funny, though I am sure it does have some of the elements of bigamy.

Here is a clip of a wonderfully inspired Crackpot Crones scenario titled Eve in Therapy. Be a little patient with the sound quality. I've seen this performed live 3 times and it always makes me laugh. Enjoy!

And please don't limit yourself just watching their clips on You Tube. Bring these artists to your area to share them with your community and enjoy their creativity and cronish insights in full bloom.

Healing Waters at Jackson Wellsprings

2010-09-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share these photos of Jackson Wellsprings in Ashland, Oregon where I live. The herb gardens at the entry of the hot springs have grown more beautiful each year. I am appreciative of all the work community members contribute to make this such a beautiful place.

The invitingly delicious swimming pool is warm-- a mixture of hot mineral water and well water. I love swimming there in the morning before the crowds arrive. Lying in the water, looking up at the sky and clouds, watching the swallows swerve around in the sky...bliss...There is also a smaller and hotter soaking tub, where you can really loosen up and relax.

Bright flowers ornament the pool in hanging baskets and big standing pots. Sometimes my visits are quiet, and other times I meet old friends, people I have known for many years,or visitors from different parts of the country who are camping at the hot springs.

It is truly a restorative place. I have enjoyed myself here this summer, last summer and the one before that, etc. To me, Jackson Hot Springs is one of the best things about Ashland. And I don't want summer to be over. I hope we have a nice Indian summer so we can continue to soak and swim in these healing waters. Happy Labor Day weekend!

Longevity Prescription

2010-08-31T15:51:00.000-07:00

I just got a copy of Dr. Robert N. Butler's most recent book titled The Longevity Prescription: The 8 Proven Keys to a Long, Healthy Life. In case you've never heard of him, Dr. Butler pioneered what has become the field of aging. He won a Pulitzer Prize for his book Why Survive? Being Old in America. Dr. Butler lived into his 80s, physically vigorous and with keen intellect. He passed away in July. His contributions were great and his death is a considerable loss for older adults and the field of aging he helped to create.

I'm excited because Ronni Bennett (who herself pioneered the genre of elderblogging) decided to explore this book chapter by chapter with her many readers. If you want to take part in that interesting discussion, go to Ronni's blog .I am a devoted reader because her blog is always interesting, with plenty of lively comments from her readers. (I will also write something here about the book when I finish reading it.)

My current learning curve involves fundraising. My goal is to raise $15,000 for development and production of A New Wrinkle, my musical play on aging. To that end, I am busy calling arts patrons--mostly people I have never met. It is unlikely that they know anything about me either. They certainly have no idea why I am calling. Have you ever tried doing this? In sales, it's termed cold calling. Thank goodness I have a script provided by the kind poet Robert McDowell , who is an expert in development, having raised over a million dollars for various ventures. I feel fortunate to have such wonderful friends-- and thank goodness I enjoy a challenge.

I've only spoken with 7 people so far, and have not yet raised a penny. But I have had some warm, informative and friendly conversations and the opportunity to discuss my play and why I wrote it. Overall, I am liking the experience. It feels invigorating. I am also calling local corporations and banks-- a bit of a different deal, because you know they have money that they have to give away.

Of course, you don't have to wait for me to call you! Call or email me if you are inspired to donate. Donations are tax-deductible thanks to the kind help of Ashland Community Theater, which is serving as a fiscal umbrella for my project.

I am also getting ready to present In the Presence of the Sacred, a solo performance of hymns and prayers from Buddhist and Christian traditions on September 19th in Ashland. The event will also include wordless singing, a kind of healing voice that I have done for over 30 years. This performance is very dear to my heart and I am looking forward to sharing it here in Ashland, and then in other cities.

It has been so cold here, but now it seems to be warming up. I may be able to enjoy some more beautiful hours floating in the healing waters at Jackson Hotsprings. It's good to have balance isn't it? Call some arts patrons and banks, and just float in the water some, cook dinner, meditate, talk with a friend or two. I am grateful for this life.

84 Things and Radical Self-Disclosure

2010-08-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

I am writing this because I told Joanna Jenkins at The Fifty Factor that I would, and of course I am writing it because I think it will be creative fun.

1. I am fond of the phrase "radical self-disclosure," which my onetime lover Ponderosa Pine introduced me to.

2. I met Ponderosa Pine, aka Keith Lampe, in Bolinas, a little town in Marin County, CA. He was one of the Yippies. (Remember that? They were 60s radicals.)

3. I am writing a memoir titled Songs of the Inner Life.

4. Let's get the celebrity stuff out of the way. I typed part of the manuscript for The Armies of the Night for Norman Mailer in Provincetown one summer.

5. I went to listen to Jerry Garcia rehearse in Marin County.

6. I was part of the crowd the first time that Jimi Hendrix played in New York.

7. I never shook a politician's hand as yet.

8. I want to become a saint but have a way to go.

9. I published a best-selling book on herbs (Gaea Weiss, Growing and Using the Healing Herbs, Rodale Press) but it was a long time ago.

10. Many things happened long ago because I am 69 years old.

11. I used to tell my second husband "It's nothing that a month in Greece wouldn't cure" and I still think that is so.

12. I have studied with various Tibetan spiritual masters for 35 years, and have experienced by being around them what is possible in terms of human potential.

13. Through no fault of theirs, I am still at the threshold of human development.

14. I love the poetry of Rilke, Yeats, Lorca and Thomas Merton, among others-- including women poets like Dorianne Laux and Ellen Bass.

15. I am a Taurus with 6 planets in the 12th house and yes, I love astrology.

16. I am a late bloomer.

17. I miss engaging playfully with men.

18. I do not miss being married.

19. I love systems of divination and inquiry like the Enneagram, astrology and Myer-Briggs.

20. Solo performance is a wonderful high in my book.

21. I am dreaming of Oaxaca, India, Thailand and it's not because of Eat,Pray, Love.

22. Elizabeth Gilbert is a very good writer.

23. I guess I might be considered a foodie.

24. My morning starts with coffee and then meditation.

25. I love NIA, a form of dance that includes yoga and martial arts in its routines.

26. Yes to truffles, no to Milky Way. Yes to good Indian or Thai or Chinese food.

27. I still remember a meal in a Bay area Chinese restaurant with about 25 Chinese people. The Chinese people ordered and I ate wonderful things never tasted since.

28. I have lived in Ashland, Oregon for over 30 years. It is artsy but provincial and conservative too, or maybe I have been here too long.

29. All summer I thought of having some Pernod, and now summer is nearly over.

30. My creative aging venture, Sage's Play, focuses on the art of aging including creativity, wellness and spirit.

31. I belong to an artists' coaching community called Artist Conference Network.

32. It can be deeply moving to share our work during Artist Conference Network meetings.

33. I helped to start Tashi Choling, a Tibetan Buddhist retreat center 30 years ago, in a mountain valley south of Ashland and I still go there often to pray.

34. I love writing.

35. I would like to live in a culture where I could pray quietly on the street or wherever and nobody think I was weird or offensive.

36. Sometimes I think about moving to another country, because America gets to me.

37. Sometimes in a similar vein, I wish I could escape myself, but as has been said, wherever you go, there you are.

38. I love the spacious restfulness of darkness.

39. I would love to live in the country again, with a woodstove and a hot tub.

40. One of the best things about Ashland is Jackson Wellsprings and its mineral waters where I love to swim and soak.

42. I am a self-educated woman with considerable curiosity.

43. I discovered about 6 months ago after reading a book by Barbara Sher that I am a scanner, a person who has many passionate interests and capacities.

44. When I mentioned this to my younger daughter, she looked at me sideways and commented, "And you've just discovered this Mom?"

45. I knew it already but I loved knowing more about Scanners and finally understanding why my Mother used to say, "You never finish anything," which wasn't true but it was true that some things landed by the wayside because of new passions.

46. I want to produce A New Wrinkle, my musical play about aging, in many cities because it is a theater of social change, intended to catalyze a positive perspective on aging.

47. I am grateful for old friends and the love we share.

48. 84 things is a lot of stuff.

49. I believe in the power of Eros, which has loomed large in my life so to speak-- and certainly that includes the G spot, various forms of orgasm whose existence is debated by scientists, pleasure, ecstasy, the fire of the ecstatic impulse and the links between eros and mysticism.

50. The above was not an example necessarily, but people think I am funny. I think it is funny to be in a body, but sometimes not that funny.

51. Lately I have been contemplating the phrase, "entering the world."

52. And also "leaving the world."

53. Of course, I love reading and cannot cite a favorite author or book but randomly The God of Small Things, The Myth of Freedom, Speak, Memory come to mind at the moment.

54. I started examining my life and writing autobiographical essays about it when I was 54.

55. I lost a lot of teeth when I was 55, and it seemed to be practice for losing a lot of other stuff not long after.

56. I know what it is like to be buried in the sands of time like some old mummy from a long-dead civilization.

57. I have re-invented myself quite a few times, including at 57.

58. I have changed my name because of marriage and in a voyage of self-discovery from Gail Emaus to Gail Madonia to Blackbird, Laughingbird, Gaea Weiss, Gaea Laughingbird.

59. Sometimes surprising things happen when you change your name, and they happened to me, but those stories are too long to share here, so read my book when it is done.

60. The 60th birthday was not so much of a milestone as it seems the 70th may be.

61. I believe in taking risks and leaps of faith.

62. I like learning new things, like right now I am calling people I never met to raise money to produce my play.

63. I want to learn Spanish.

64. I never wanted to travel, but now the urge comes on me from time to time.

65. I am in the winter of my life.

66. And very alive-- as Florida Scott-Maxwell wrote--"As we age, we are more alive than seems likely, convenient, or even bearable."

67. I love custard, pumpkin pie, duck, carrot/ginger soup, fresh-baked bread, and the list could go on of course because I am a foodie.

68. Yes, I would like to lose 20 pounds.

69. I am 69 right now and recovering from 4 broken metatarsal bones in my left foot.

70. I am still walking gimpily but glad to be walking after the educational experience of using a wheelchair and walker.

72. I am grateful for my strong constitution and good health and energy level.

73. I rest when I am tired.

74. I am waiting for Dr. Robert Butler's latest book Longevity Prescription to arrive in the mail.

75. I am a fan of Dr. Robert Butler, who died recently. He coined the word ageism in the 60s.

76. I have not mentioned it, but I have two beautiful daughters, 20 years apart.

77. Kindness changes everything, and I am working on being kind.

78. I used to be a lot more rasty, aggressive and domineering.

79. I am not a nice little old lady though because I believe in being subversive or you will be worse off, and for many other reasons as well.

80. Sure, I would like to live to be 80.

81. I do contemplate dying and because Buddhists do that as part of their practice, I am used to the contemplation.

82. Death is a major life event and I believe in preparing spiritually for it.

83. Sometimes you have to play for a long time before you can play like yourself, is what Miles Davis once said, and I agree.

84. I love reading a wonderful book called Graceful Exits, which is filled with the last words of many spiritual masters.

5 Great Things About Being Older

2010-08-15T18:09:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I met a young chap of about 7 or 8 walking with a small woman about my age. He was blond, blue-eyed, bright as a new whistle. As I approached he said, indicating his companion, “ You are twins!”

I replied, “ I wonder if you are saying that because both of us are wearing blue, and because we both have gray hair.” “Yes,” he responded, “You are both elderly.”

“Well elderly is not the word I would use to describe myself,” I told him, already becoming aware that there were vast gulfs of experience and language proficiency and associations between us.

“But elderly is a nice way of saying it,” he responded in a sweet way. What a dear little fellow he was, and what a dismal idea he had of aging and older people, based upon his solicitous use of the word elderly.

“Is that your grandma?” I asked him, indicating my supposed twin, who seemed quite surprised by our conversation thus far. “No, it’s respite.” he responded. I didn’t know quite what to make of that. Was he in foster care, or was his family ill? I didn’t have enough information to go further, but his disclosure made me understand he was in some sort of unusual situation.

“Well,” I said to him, returning to his elderly gambit and hoping to set him straight, at least as far as I was concerned, “I like being old quite a bit. I find it quite a wonderful time of life.”

When he confided that he hoped he would die at 50 so he wouldn’t have to get old, I just wanted to wrap the little chap up in a warm grandmotherly embrace. Meanwhile, his respite companion just stood there looking rather stunned. I think she was not accustomed this type of conversation or to my perspective on aging.

I myself was wondering, are there millions of children who feel this way about aging? Oh my, that is pretty sad. “I am sorry to hear that,” I said to him. “There are a lot of wonderful things about getting older.” “Oh,” he asked, “What is so great about being old? “

“I am very free,” I told him. “ My children are grown. I’m a writer. I can write whatever I want. I can cook whatever I want. I can travel wherever I want. I can do whatever I want.” He looked as if he was doing his best to digest these new ideas. His respite companion, who had never said a word throughout, still looked surprised and nonplussed.

That conversation has made me contemplate how to talk with children and young adults about the pleasures and opportunities of age. Communicating the joys of age to younger people is challenging. They have not yet lived long enough to understand some of the richness of age.

So there’s more work to do. But these 5 statements are a beginning. I have to thank that darling boy and his respite companion for the opportunity to mull this over. I look forward to having more conversations with young people about aging, and to finding the right language to communicate to them (and to the 30s and 40s and 50s who are afraid of it, too) what a marvelous time of life it can be.

1. I feel free—Everything is open, like a big adventure. There’s nothing to lose and plenty to learn by opening new doors.

2. I have the perspective of a bird in the sky-- Having lived this long gives a bigger view of human life. You could call it the wisdom of lived experience or been there done that (many times)

3. I enjoy happiness, contentment and acceptance-- I’m happier than I’ve been at any time. I experience delight in the present moment, appreciation and gratitude—the emotional tides have calmed considerably. I experience the beauty inherent in people and the world.

4. I am comfortable with who I am-- I don’t have to prove anything to anybody. I am free to be the person I have become.

5. I acknowledge the approach of death. I can engage with it as a fruitful territory to explore and relax into.

Audacious Aging

2010-08-07T06:57:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading a marvelous book titled Audacious Aging, a collection of 30 essays by a fascinating group of contributors, including Larry Dossey, Jean Houston, Joan Borysenko, Gene Cohen, Gloria Steinem and Andrew Weil.

I have been recommending the book to everyone over 50 I meet, and I will continue to do that, because it represents one of the broadest and most exciting expressions of the depth and power of aging I have read. That's partly because of the diversity of perspectives, and the fields that are included.

Deepak Chopra urges us to wake up from the "hypnosis of social conditioning" and look at aging in a fresh, open way, including the spiritual dimensions which are timeless and ageless.

Ram Dass points out that aging is one of our society's last taboos, and reflects on how sad it is when people in trying to maintain youth pit themselves against time and natural law, and how market-driven images of aging are designed to make us feel as if aging is some kind of failure. Ram Dass says what I deeply believe to be true. "If the situation is going to change, of course it will be because we, the aging, work to change it...As older people we will have to initiate the change by freeing ourselves of this culture's bias, and remember the unique things we bring to the table."

Gloria Steinem notes in relationship to changing perceptions of aging," We may not have maps for this new country, but other movements can give us a compass." Yes!

Changing prevalent social views and prejudices about aging is only one of the themes here, though. This book is an incredible bouyant, expansive look at the potential for change and depth in many areas, including mind/body, health and medicine, diet and exercise, wellness through healing old traumas, potential for changing one's DNA, potent civic participation, the value of living in community as we age, and "going into the forest"--the power of stillness and the inner life.

Aging is audacious naturally, Patch Adams MD writes. Both Rabbi Zalman Schachter and dancer Gabrielle Roth start their essays the same way: "Aging is inevitable. Audacious aging is a choice."
There is such delightful, revelatory writing in this book. I enjoyed Dominick Dunne's essay I Want to Drop Dead on the Tarmac and Norman Shealy's contribution Every Thought is a Prayer. I just choose these rather arbitrarily, because I found 80% of the essays thoroughly fascinating and the other 20% very interesting, but maybe stuff I already know about, especially in the areas of mind/body and healing. Great material!

I haven't even mentioned the rich entries of some of the lesser-known contributors, which are stunning in their perspectives and implications. This is an inspiring, potent book, a real guide as we move into the authenticity and authority age naturally presents. When older adults let go of "the badly tailored suit of an outdated identity" as Ram Dass styles our cultural bias against aging, we are empowered to take these later years as an opportunity to share the wisdom of our lived experience. This book is a beacon for that journey.

Highly recommended. Many exclamation points. Must-read!

I know I will be re-reading these essays many times. And I look forward to hearing what you have to say about the book once you have read it yourself. Check out the website, www.audaciousaging. com and order your copy!

Wearing Headdresses and Creating Art Events

2010-08-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

As I believe I've said before, I live in an artsy kind of town, full of poetry readings, art openings, world music groups, drum ensembles, aerial artists, OSF and other theater offerings, a symphony, a variety of choral groups, an improvisational comedy troupe and a very successful independent film festival that happens each year. And that is a very partial description of the variety of cultural and artistic expressions that saturate this place.

My housemate Louise Pare and I had to try on two of our friend Betsy Lewis' beautiful Mother Warrior headdresses when we met at the recent Tribal Art Show in downtown Ashland. It was a great show of several local artists, plus excellent drumming and singing by a group of women, a big audience including many old friends. I reconnected with some people I haven't seen in awhile and enjoyed it all, including some way above average food. It had the old Ashland feel--interconnected, relaxed, unpretentious.

Then I attended another successful event that Betsy Lewis organized with Marla Estes and others at Rogue Community College. It included a showing of the film Who Does She Think She Is? a great film on women artists. Not only that, there was also an impressive art show that included quite a variety of local women artists. The event attracted another big, diverse audience full of interesting folks and many friends. There was food, but I have to confess that I didn't pay much attention to it. A panel of women artists after the film initiated an invigorating discussion and primed me to hope for a few more gatherings where we can talk about our creative process.

I think art events maestro Betsy Lewis should get a big round of applause! I am impressed with her creative/collaborative ability, and am looking forward to her next offering. Betsy, listen to this big round of applause right now! Hear it? It's full of love and appreciation of your unique talents.

When Lightning Strikes

2010-07-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."--Helen Keller

Security is a myth. Anything can happen at any moment. Intellectually, I know this. And there have been times when I have experienced it, the feeling one has when the so-called rug is pulled out and there you are in the midst of nowhere going no place and being nobody, everything you identified yourself by vanished.

I aspire to get comfortable with that. I want to relax about it, open up easily beyond the finite boundaries of my familiar self and life. Something easier said than done, something worthy of practice.

A friend told me that two days ago, after an enormous sound, a blinding experience of light flooded her living room. When it was over, there was nothing scorched or burnt. But it was lightning. Others nearby called to check on her because they saw it strike her home and were concerned for her wellbeing. Lightning can be like that. Powerful, yet leaving no trace of its visit. If you are fortunate. It infuses you somehow, but you live through it, as a childhood friend of my younger daughter did when lightning passed through her body as she swam in a pool.

Sometimes it feels like being struck by lightning to be reflected by one's spiritual teacher. I haven't had the experience lately, but over the past 35 years I have definitely had it. My spiritual mentors have let loose with bolts of shattering insight and effortless, inherently loving snapshots of my unique predicament. I cannot imagine what my life would have been without the presence of my spiritual teachers, beautiful, profound, earthy, humorous and deeply compassionate Tibetan lamas. So many people have never even met an authentic spiritual guide. Or they scoff at the idea. I find it very sad. It is difficult being a spiritual/religious person in a society that is either relentlessly secular or fanatically religious in ways that are inconceivable to me.

I guess that's why I am thinking of India so much. It would feel relaxing to be in a country where thousands of naked sadhus running into the Ganges is their version of a marathon, and where the importance of spiritual practice and development is taken for granted. Maybe I'll travel there one of these days. Lately, I've been thinking of traveling to India as a celebration of turning 70.

My younger daughter is 28 today. Astounding. The spirit is timeless, but the body is carried along in linear time. She and I had dinner together the other night to celebrate. What a beautiful, deep person she is. I always feel fortunate that she is my daughter. When I was her age, I made the journey from the East coast to the West coast. I discovered Buddhism, healing arts and environmental activism. I wonder what this year will bring to her life.

I'm often reading various stuff. I just finished reading a book about India titled Empire of the Soul. It has some truly marvelous writing about India and the spiritual search. But overall I found it rather dispiriting. It was the writer's distance from and distrust of his spiritual life that got to me eventually.

Yesterday I read a poem by David Wright titled Lines on Retirement, After Reading Lear. I like this part of the poem.

"...Feel the storm's sweet sting invade you to the skin,
the strange, sore comforts of the wind. Embrace
your children's ragged praise and that of friends.
Go ahead, take it off, take it all off.
Run naked in the tempests. Weave flowers
into your hair. Bellow at cataracts.
If you dare, scream at the gods..."

Take it all off. How about deconstructing the self? It's a good idea to practice expanding into the infinite, letting go of the particular markers of the individual life.

Even so, I still have ordinary work to do here, and it is naturally an expression of the sacred.

Letting the Imagination Run Wild, and Talking to the Air

2010-07-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." ~Michelangelo

"The Possible's slow fuse is lit By the Imagination." ~Emily Dickinson

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed." ~Albert Einstein

I like to let my imagination run wild. Being a grown-up can be way too serious at times. And I do have adult matters to attend to. My musical play on aging is finished, and now I am about to raise the money to produce it. That's serious business, and something I look forward to accomplishing within the next couple of months.

But my imagination wants to run wild, too. So I revisited my old fantasy of taking off in a painted gypsy wagon, something my father always talked about when I was a child. And after several days of great longing and looking at pictures of gypsy wagons, imagining packing everything up and taking off, I had a stark revelation. I would not want to take a gypsy wagon out in America. Contraindicated, period. Maybe there was still a rosy glow for my father, but it doesn't work for me. So I put that one aside. It's not as if I have no other dreams and adventures. So I leave the gypsy wagon adventure for folks in England, Ireland and other parts of Europe, where there is culture and tradition that supports the experience.

Last night I went back to my unfinished memoir Songs of the Inner Life, a project I began when I was 53. It has gone through various incarnations as I explored voice and content. Now I am certainly old enough to finish it. And I want to finish it. It is an expression that is important for me to complete.

To me, letting the imagination run wild is profoundly nourishing and exhilarating. My own favorite ways to do it are writing, performing, dancing and singing. Sometimes the imagination wants to play with no outer activity. Then I love letting it run wild while I am lying in the dark or floating in the water or sitting on a hill with a broad vista all around. Talking to the air. Things do show up from thin air. Listening to the air. Resting and playing while doing absolutely nothing at all.

How do you let your imagination run wild?

Shift Happens and A Gypsy Wagon Appears

2010-07-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite” --William Blake

It's good to act as if you're on a vacation, and my town is a great place to do it. It's full of visitors who have come to see plays at Oregon Shakespeare Festival and to shop and stroll in the marvelous milieu of Ashland, Oregon.

After my third house concert at Tangren's, which was enjoyable and instructive, and after a conversation with my life coach friend Melanie, I decided it would be very refreshing to act as if I were on vacation. Just shifting that way opened things up for me. I felt a bit like these dolphins in the cartoon here.

Yesterday I started the day by heading to the hot springs. The sky and water were blue. A serious and attentive man was carefully watering the colorful hanging baskets full of flowers that ornament the walls and deck of the pool. A father and son were playing together. The swallows, beautiful birds really, were as usual swooping and diving over the pool and into the fields beyond on their quest to find food for their babies nested under the eaves of the hot spring's main building. There were red dragonflies and the occasional hawk. The leaves of nearby trees were shimmering in the sun. In the hot pool, the water was delightful. Lying on my back and floating, I felt my tightness both physical and mental dissolving into the water. Meanwhile, a man gave a woman a Watsu massage in the hot pool, gently pulling her this way and that. All the while her beautiful relaxed face had a faint smile, as if she was seeing angels.

A soak, then a swim in the big pool, then lying in the sun for awhile. This is the life. The very life. I draped my wet blue towel over the back seat of my car and left the hot springs. I ate a delicious marzipan danish. I dropped my compost off at Valerie and Edeltraud's and had some cool tea with them. I sat and meditated for awhile. Later I visited Melanie and had more tea. She was packaging sets of cards to send to various friends. Each card had a beautiful photograph of a flower she had taken. I loved watching her write on the cards, then tie them with thin, transparent ribbons into a packet. Beautiful gifts she was preparing.

It's always a lush treat for the senses to visit her home. The colors, textures, statues, paintings, flowers, fabrics....ummmm....very wonderful. She's a feng shui consultant and her home really shows it.

Yesterday I was investigating what it is that I enjoy and how to infuse my life with more bursts of it, because I focus on creative work far too much at times. I enjoy creative work, but sometimes it gets to be too much work and not enough creative.

In the early evening, I decided to go downtown and just hang out for awhile. We used to do that so easily and often years ago. I got a cup of gelato and sat on a bench outside the ice cream parlor to watch the people and contemplate time and infinity. Among all the visitors, also known as tourists, I saw six locals within the first five minutes. One woman I've known for 30 years sat down and talked for about 15 minutes about aging. Hey, I thought, hang out here more often Gaea.

In the bank parking lot nearby, a guy was displaying a lovely gypsy wagon type of camper he had built on the back of a pickup truck. I went over to look at it because gypsy wagons are often on my mind, and this one looked especially delightful. It had beautiful wood ornamentation, magical windows, one of them round, and was equipped with a bed, storage space, stove, sink and refrigerator. What would it be like to pack up and take off in a gypsy wagon? That's something I've been wondering about for years now.

I could blame it on my father, who used to regale me with tales of how he would get a painted gypsy wagon and we would take off for parts unknown in an adventure that would surely lead us out of mundane reality and into a freshness and freedom most humans long for, and we were certainly among them. My father and I never did that and I have never done it myself, not yet anyway.

That particular gypsy wagon cost too much but the creator said he was going to create others that were more affordable soon. He lives here so I can talk more with him about it. And there's Rima, a woman in England whose blog I just discovered. I recommend your checking her blog of July 7th filled with wonderful images which describes how several old women painted the interiors of their houses in marvelous ways. Rima lived in her version of a gypsy wagon for a year. I'm going to write to her about her experience. I like the idea of living small. I like the idea of traveling around. Hmmm....

That's what happens when you "go on vacation," shifting ordinary habits and perception, inviting a welcome openness. And today is another day, as my mother was fond of saying.

Scanners don't like to choose one subject

2010-07-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

Scanners and renaissance people are really the same kind of bird. They have many interests and often they have many careers and many, many creative projects, ideas and plans. I'm a scanner so I speak from experience. I remember how my mother used to say, shaking her head sadly, "You can never finish anything." I did finish some things, just not everything I started. I had so many things I wanted to do! When new fascinating fields of study and expression appeared, I just dropped whatever I had been doing to immerse myself in the fresh adventure. If you think you're a scanner then check out Barbara Sher's marvelous books on how to accept it and turn it to your profound advantage.

Modern culture favors specialists. And that is an understatement. We are pruned and shaped by our society's tendency to homogenize and standardize until our variety, innate curiosity and sense of exploration is fairly well tamed. That's been our model, especially since the Industrial Revolution. Seth Godin writes so well about that in his new book Linchpin.

Being a scanner came up for me as I thought of what I wanted to write about in the blog format, where people often present one subject, and quite briefly too. But I had so many things I wanted to write about! I wanted to write about two books I read recently, Seth Godin's Linchpin and The Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, which I read many years ago and had a yen to read again.

Both books are about freedom. Seth Godin's book is wonderful, and I am totally in favor of everyone becoming a linchpin and an artist in the workplace, rather than a replaceable expendable cog. But I have to say that the world described in Yogananda's book exerts a far deeper pull on me. The real-life experiences of saints, yogis and spiritual masters described in Yogananda's book make me deeply happy. Human potential is so much bigger than the small slice we settle for in the materialistic worldview.

Things are always happening all at once. You are reading books, meeting people, going to events, thinking various things, listening to music, dancing. The other day I was sitting in a chair at Tashi Choling, the Tibetan Buddhist temple where I worship. In fact there was a whole group of us sitting in chairs, rather than sitting on meditation mats the way most other people were sitting. Now we're chair sitters. We've been praying together for 30 years and we've grown old. One of us had had a stroke recently. Another was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I have been thinking of those aspects of aging a lot these days. How will we support each other? In what ways can we prepare?

I am getting ready to do another house concert tomorrow night. I enjoy performing. It's part of my calling. I love having permission to be bigger than life, to show more of myself, to delve into mythic dimensions and the various characters that live within me. I love the opportunity to go deeper, to express more fully. Doing more performing has got me thinking about the relationship between the artist and the audience again.

I read something from Downbeat Magazine about the artist and audience. It was written by a jazz pianist. He said that people usually don't feel very free and that when they go to an artistic event, they put themselves in the hands of the artist as a way of letting go into a bigger freedom than they are used to having in their everyday life. He talked about the risk the audience takes. The artist takes a risk too. Art is intimate and that can be risky. But what is the other option? How dull that would be, not to risk anything.

I love the photo I've inserted into this blog entry--the old tree, which stands there in all its years, worn but a steady support for the profuse beauty of the rose bush. Why did I choose that photo? It seems tender to me, the way the rose climbs and ornaments the tree. Tender and alive. And that is how I feel right now. What about you? What is moving in your blood and brain and soul?

Influence and Inspiration

2010-07-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

Have you ever sat down to contemplate just how many people have influenced and inspired you over the course of your life? I haven't undertaken it yet in any systematic way, but even casual musing makes me realize that it's a pretty potent subject.

I immediately think of my father, whose enthusiasm for Nature, poetry and whimsy and whose keen interest in metaphysical matters have stayed with me all these years. What about Miss Cartwright, the neighbor who lived across the street with her old mother? Their house was warm, gentle and quiet. They moved at a slower pace than other people in our neighborhood. They seemed to pay more attention.

There were people whose sense of beauty astounded me, people who elevated my heart with their poetry, people with whom I investigated the arcane mysteries of synchronicity and magic. People who taught me about cooking good food, lovemaking and taking risks. People who taught me about generosity and healing. Quite a bouquet of inspiration and influence. I imagine if you take a look at your life, you'll find that you are similarly endowed with a mandala of beings who have touched you.

When I was living in New York as a single mother, life sometimes felt isolated and difficult. Money was tight. Once I asked my friend Lex Hixon for a loan of $100. Lex's life was much more expansive than mine. He was wealthy; he was also very kind. He loaned me the money and I paid him back within a few months. Soon after that, I got a card in the mail from a Quaker group devoted to peace. It said, "A donation of $100 has been made in your name by Lex Hixon." How I cried when I read that. I had become a philanthropist! His gesture had a lasting influence on me.

Years ago, I had a wonderful spiritual teacher named Sister Palmo, an English woman who became a Tibetan Buddhist lama. I never really understood anything about the profound qualities of the feminine until I met her. Up until that time I had been a woman who tried to act like a man. I remember that Sister Palmo once wrote me a note that included the line, "In gentleness is all Dharma." Gentleness. What resistance I had to that! I was afraid of it. Her example shifted me in a very essential way. I began to become comfortable about being a woman. I started to recognize the unique value of feminine qualities.

I never even met many of the people who have profoundly influenced and inspired me over the decades. Writers, artists, healers, philosophers, saints, explorers, social change agents. So many people. It's because we are really so permeable to each other, so interconnected.

One person who influenced and inspired me died the other day. I was very sad to hear about his passing. Dr. Robert N. Butler is often credited with starting the field of aging. I first discovered his work six or seven years ago when I read a report titled Ageism in America, which he was instrumental in developing. It was Dr. Butler who coined the word ageism in the Sixties to describe prejudice against older people. He won a Pulitzer Prize in 1976 for one of his books titled Why Survive? Being Old in America. He founded the National Institute on Aging and the first department of geriatrics at a U.S. medical school. I admired him and his groundbreaking work. He left a grand legacy.

I think about the legacy of my own life these days as I sail toward 70. Do you? It's a natural part of aging to contemplate the meaning and the patterns of the years, what one will leave behind. But now it's late. I'm ready for sleep, not for reflecting on my life's legacy, whatever that may be. I want to be fresh because tomorrow I happily head to Tashi Choling to participate in a practice intensive. Ahhhh. That is real delight.

Artistic Success and the Weather

2010-06-25T06:15:00.000-07:00

Today's blog post originally appeared in April as a guest post at Betsy Lewis's blog. What constitutes success? It's a subject I contemplate often these days-- my definitions of it have changed over time. Here's what I wrote:

Earlier in my life my definition of artistic success was becoming a famous writer. I wanted that big outer validation and thought that being famous and successful would make me happy. When I was in my 20s, 30s and 40s my artistic successes took place in a climate of striving and struggle. The weather was often overcast, stormy or tumultuous. These days I agree with whomever it was that said, “Success does not bring happiness, happiness brings success.”

Over the years, I certainly have had artistic successes. I published a best-selling book on herbs (Gaea Weiss, Growing and Using the Healing Herbs), and many articles and poems in national and regional magazines, wrote and performed two-one woman shows and created several shows of voice and personal stories with other artists. I channeled my artistic impulses into environmental activism and supported some very worthy causes. I became a healer and with the help of others, healed some of my old wounds. I became a Buddhist and learned about stillness, openness and compassion. None of which made me famous. (Such a blessing—I was allowed to grow and flower without much fanfare).

For years I have explored the links between creativity and happiness. Creative expression makes me happy. I love creating a well-written poem or essay, a beautifully sung song, an inspiring or provocative story, a beautiful drawing. When something really works, I disappear as the expression utters or creates itself through me. These are moments of joy. Who is creating here?
We live in a universe filled with countless billions of beings, so it’s natural to share artistic expressions with others. But does artistic success depend upon being recognized or considered notable by others? Not really, though I find it delightful to connect and communicate art with others.
“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody,” says comedian Bill Cosby. I have to agree. It can take a long time to find one’s voice and gifts, letting go of the need to please others. I took me quite a while. I finally know myself and am comfortable with myself. That allows me to be much more free to enjoy and share artistically. My artistic medium these days is the experience of aging.
It usually takes years of practice to become skilled in an artistic form, though some fortunate folks seem to have done their prep work in a mystery dimension. They arrive with their art fully formed. For most of us though it takes willingness to fail over and over and not lose heart but rather learn from each experience.

These days, after decades of struggle and striving over artistic expression and success, I find I’ve entered another territory. I love setting wildly improbable goals. I think what the heck, we create everything from nothing, so why not this? I enjoy the experience of creativity and sharing my art more than I ever have. And yes, the weather is always marvelous. Sometimes it’s chaotic and turbulent and sometimes gorgeous as a bright day on the beach. There are brisk days when the wind clears things away, making room for something new and days when I feel as if I’m walking through a meadow filled with flowers.
Artistic success-- like the weather-- is pervasive, fascinating and changeful. Like breathing it is completely natural and of the essence. When we relax into the experience of wholeness and rest in stillness — then whatever pours out as artistic expression is a gift and an offering to oneself and others.